One Sneaky Dame Blind Vice

Fri., Oct. 31, 2008 6:03 AM PDT by Ted Casablanca

Okay, babes, we're back to you skanky hets this week! I swear, straight folks are getting as kinky as us gays, are we teaching you that well? Apparently so.

Shafterella Shoshstein sure seems to be taking lessons successfully, and has been for some time, who the hell knew? When she busted up with her man not that long ago, everybody was sympathizing with poor S2. How could such a sweet, darling little babe have deserved such treatment from her male-slut partner for all those years? She's too talented, too charming, too damn dazzling to have to have endured such wretchedness, America cried!

Turns out we were all weeping for the wrong partner, perhaps. S.S.'s ex is just now starting to put the truth out there, via a few tanked encounters with his fave bartender. Damn, sure hope this good-lookin' lad doesn't have to become full-blown alcoholic before we find out the full truth of the matter, but jeez, keep on drinkin' there, buddy-boy!

Oh, and Shafty, shame on you, girlfriend. Cannot believe you penis-partied galore all that time, while letting your less-designing other half take the tabloid fall. Actually, I can. They don't pay ya the big bucks for nothin'.

And It Ain't: Whitney Houston, Halle Berry, Britney Spears

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