INFdaily.comDear Ted:
What's this you said in the last Truth, Lies & Ted about my favorite actor of all time, Paul Newman? You were talking about what a shame it would be if sham couple Jake and Reese tried to make like a "modern-day Paul and Joanne." I'll still love him anyway, but tell me one of H'wood's greatest love stories ain't a sham! Love you and your bitchin' bitchiness.
—Lauren, Chicago
Dear Newman's Own Fan:
No fakery we know of betwixt Paul and his longtime sweetie. Meant it would be heresy if J&R played house like those two, 'cause they ain't nothing like the real thing.
Dear Ted:
Are Reese and Jake the new TomKat? I think robot-boyfriend Jake is the new Katie.
—Gray
Dear GyllenKat:
I think they're both robots.
Dear Ted:
Loved last week's Vice, really had my brain working. Anyway, my guess is Chris Kattan as Henry Skank from So-Straight, Way-Cheap Blind Vice. I can't imagine that he's been that good with the ladies, but he did just recently separate from that model with the crazy name.
—Justine
Dear Chris Questioning:
It ain't C.K.—think far funnier.
Dear Ted:
Henry Skank has to be David Spade!?
—Beachy
Dear Skank Watch :
Doesn't have to be David, 'cause it ain't. Think far less sketchy-seeming a character.
Dear Ted:
It looks like Paris and Benji are over. I am pretty sure you heard how Paris was trying to hook up with Princes William and Harry, but Paris told the Daily Mail she met a cute English guy. I guess you were right when you said Paris and Benji will be done by Christmas; how did you know?
—Chris, Texas
Dear Not So Fast:
I'm sure Paris' reps will be saying she just likes things royal, if they haven't already.
Dear Ted:
Don't even register if you're not going to vote for Obama? The last time I checked, this was America. The last time I checked, Hollywood doesn't run our country. The last time I checked, every American has a right to have their vote heard. If Obama wins the election, great. If McCain wins the election, great. Either way, it is up to all Americans who will be our next president. Encouraging people to avoid registering if they aren't going to vote your way is quite cowardly. Let's have a fair election...I don't care who you're voting for.
–KB, Houston
Dear Indifferent:
If McCain wins the election, no, it ain't great.
Dear Ted:
Is it me, or is it awfully convenient that Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are back together, especially since she has a new movie out? Is this stuff planned? Or do celebs' love lives magically align with their latest projects?
—Matthowe
Dear Planned Pairing:
Let's see if he's still with her post Marley & Me.
Dear Ted:
Now that you've been good enough to share that you're "technically bisexual," I wish you could explain why people like Anthony Perkins, Elton John and, yes, Alfred Lunt (well, maybe he did it for a cover) get married to women. I just don't understand it. Even Ellen DeGeneres said she was desperate to marry some guy when she was around 20. I had a friend in college who had a relationship with a woman though he was totally gay. Any enlightenment you can offer me?
—Gail
Dear Flip-Flopper:
Stay away from guys who have better hair than you do.
Dear Ted:
I can't stand the negative crap about you and the column. Obviously, these people like your column or they wouldn't take the time to read and post a comment. I usually read a lot of truth in what you have to say, especially between the lines. OK, enough sunshine, I want to know about Leo. You made a comment recently that Jen A. should not hook up with him. The comment has me perplexed. After that, I indulged in some Internet research on Leo. I don't get his model girlfriend choices at all. What is his gimmick?
—Kim, Texas
Dear Leo Lover:
All your research on Leo, and you came up with the right answer—dude's boring. Great in films, so-so in gossip.
Dear Ted:
Love the new look. I am an avid reader of yours, and I am so sad to hear about another couple breaking up. It seems to me that Hollywood just marries to boost movie sales/record sales. What happened to marrying someone you were in love with?
—Jessica, Missouri
Dear Get Real:
Thanks for the kudos, babe, but non-celebs get married for all the wrong reasons, too. Movie stars just do it more visibly, and with stylists.
Dear Ted:
New to the blog and love your candor. This Toothy Tile mystery game is frustrating, but I think I have an idea who he may be...is it Tom Welling?
—Jane Doe
Dear Welling Wonder:
Not at all. Think more supersuccessful than this TV actor.
Dear Ted:
Is Paul Rudd the Henry Skank?
—Kamila
Dear Pondering Paul:
Very warm, my dear. Think a bit bigger. Famewise, not just girth.
—With additional sass by Becky Bain