The Awful Truth

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As the Awful Truth has made clear, we have über-high-up connections to the current White House administration. These sources, our beloved Desk DeeCee, have repeatedly proved to be most reliable (certainly we're still hearing back from Republicans we deal with less often on how accurate it was that Laura Bush did, indeed, move outta 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. for a time, though these insiders claim it wasn't just Dubya's return to boozing that caused the first lady to take a break, how interesting). And don't think for a sec Desk D.C. didn't catch wind of our newest politically savvy spies, the counterpart Desk Donkey, an equally know-it-all team, only with the Obama/Biden side of things. Of course, Desk Donkey just bitched about McCain's lacking debate performance in their eyes, and, in particular, critiqued the injured former prisoner of war's "Frankenstein" body appeal, due to the fact that he has limited upper-body movement.

"That was a low blow," fumed our highest-ranking member of Desk DeeCee, who, for the record, is in close proximity to the Walter Reed Army Medical Center, where injured vets from Iraq and Afghanistan are taken for care. "I see these veterans who are so, so young," explained our Potomac pooper, "every day in wheelchairs, using crutches, with their prosthetic legs and arms on full display, and it is just heartbreaking to think that anyone would refer to any veteran's injuries as 'Frankenstein-like'—presidential candidate or not."

Do you feel ashamed Desk Donkey? Are vets' mangled bods off limits or not? Or just the ones of those seeking the highest office in the land? Now, I adore my Desk Dee like you wouldn't believe, but gotta say it's one thing to poke fun at a wounded officer who's a private figure and one who parlayed the very actions that turned him into a "Frankenstein" to help garner him votes (via books, tours, speaking engagements, etc). My father was shot at in the Korean War and wouldn't say bupkes about it. On self-promotional sitches like that, I say it's hands-off, prosthetic or otherwise. Same principle, really, with Angelina Jolie breast-feeding babies in photo ops, and then she turns around and wants privacy out the wazoo for her and her babies, once they're behind those big French walls.

But I hear DDC's cry, and we respect that, too.