Tabloids and TV Together Again

Wed., Sep. 10, 2008 8:04 AM PDT by Ted Casablanca

Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, Patrick Dempsey, Ellen Pompeo

Michael Bucker/Getty Images;

It's fall, folks, or so we hear here in Hell-Ay—the only way we know it's autumn in smoggy SoCal is that our local Starbucks is serving seasonal pumpkin-spice lattes. But fall means new TV, and there's tons to look forward to on your boob tube, and soon, 'course. Get ready for the big trend of the year—tabloid fixtures jumping from your magazines and snarky websites to your TV, and we don't mean on TMZ.

How I Met Your Mother made it so en vogue last season for shows to cast underqualified, popular and pitiful performers with Britney Spears' two-ep turn. And now 30 Rock has lined up jilted babe Jennifer Aniston to guest star on the sitcom, and Ugly Betty is bringing La Lohan back for a lengthier cameo. It's painful watching trainwrecks try to act, but at least a half hour is more tolerable than a full feature film. What other goss rag prince or princess deserves a spot on the small screen? Here's our favest picks:

Heidi and Spencer would fit in seamlessly in all the drama on Grey's Anatomy. Except no one would be able to take them seriously as doctors. Or not? Maybe they could be McOrderlies, of some kind. Or plastic-surgery patients—that's it!

Paris could return to her Simple Life roots and play an intern on The Office. She's the only person who could make Steve Carrell's Michael Scott sound articulate.

John Mayer sure has a lot of things (more like bitter exes) he needs to cross off his list on My Name Is Earl.

Why stop at living celebs when it's the ones who have passed on that are more famous dead than alive? Anna Nicole Smith could easily land a role on The Ghost Whisperer or be poked back to life on Pushing Daisies.

Move over, Aniston, Sarah Palin could play Tina Fey's long lost Republican sister on 30 Rock.

Amy Winehouse could (scratch that–should) be on Intervention.

And why the hell doesn't Tom Green go on Lost, already. Some washed-up, has-been comic, you know.

What other celebs should get a shot on the TV casting couch? Comment, babes, and let us know.

—With additional English-screwin' reporting by Becky Bain