Look, everybody, I was going to tell you all about a certain Morgan Mayhem family member who, just like Morgy, is getting hugely wasted more often than she burps overpriced champagne, but, like, whatever, ya know? No big ser-prize there.
So, instead, due to an overwhelming demand for all things closeted and Toothy Tile, we’re going to round up all recent clues provided for our limited-run special 20 Questions and give ya another fab clue! Ding ding ding! Hot fun for the same-sex tum, huh? Now, keep in mind, for those of you teething for Tooth, we’re not even friggin’ halfway through the 20 queries, but thus far, this is what we’ve previously let out, as it were:
Q: Was he on Dancing with the Stars?
A: No. T2 is a talented thesp who's way above reality TV, trust.
Q: Are Toothy's initials in the first half of the alphabet, or the second? FYI: I'm asking about his real name, not pseudonym, so no tricks please.
A: No.
Q: Is Toothy known to be an animal lover?
A: Uh, yes, but isn’t everybody (or at least pretending to be) in this hairy town?
Q: What happened to Baby Tile? Did Toothy and B-F Tile have the kid, or did they give up on the idea of becoming dads? Are they still together and superdomesticated?
A: Give the nonnuclear fam time, doll-babe.
Q: Is Toothy Tile known to be athletic?
A: That, my dear, depends on your definition of athletic. He can hold his own, how about that?
Q: Is Toothy Tile Isaiah Washington?
A: Wrong bum-lovin’ boy. Think younger, cuter ‘n’ sans snarkiness.
And for all you unleashed types doggin’ for the good-lookin’ dude’s identity, here are two more newbie inquiries to get ya through the weekend. Now, keep the questions burnin’!
Q: Has Toothy Tile ever been nominated for or won a major American award?
A: For Best Kinky Performance in a Parking Lot? Why, yes! By the West Hollywood Sheriff’s voting academy, actually!
Q: Why is Jennifer Aniston the only woman Vince Vaughn has been linked to in the tabloids? Is he Toothy Tile?
A: No. He’s not nearly agile enough. Certainly not for the back-seat seduction game.