Afternoon Bitch-Back! What Are Jessica Biel and Gerard Butler Up To?

Readers wonder about the newest H’wood coupling

Dear Ted:
So what do you think about Jessica Biel and Gerard Butler? Clearly a publicity stunt, but I wonder why Gerry feels the need to participate in this crap...He already has the skanky image, which we all secretly love. Why bother with boring Biel? If he is really into publicity he would hook up with an A-lister and get on the cover of People. This just doesn't make sense to me.
—Susan

Dear Very Gerry:
I, for one, am pleased for Jess. Everyone deserves a chance at happiness, even her (especially after getting dragged through the indecisive mud by Justin Timberlake). Whom would you really like to see Butler with, anyway?

Dear Ted:
Unlike some I am do not post a lot on here but like to catch up on what is happening time to time. I know several people think that Nevis Divine and Terry Tush-Trade are from Twilight, and they could be. I have no idea when you came up with them, but I was just wondering if maybe they could be Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon?. I was just wondering about Reese fitting TTT's B.V. It seems to work. Again I am not on a lot and don't really know all the B.V.s but was just wondering.
—Karen

RELATED: Is Gerard Butler Jessica Biel's New Motor Man?

Dear 180:
Love how cleverly against the grain you've gone with your detective work, sweets! Alas, this time it's not going to pay off. You'd probably do best to pull a 180 and then start anew.

Dear Ted:
When bearding couples break up, are they truly mad at each other (or even surprised?) when it's over—or is that for appearances too? When they write sad/mad breakup songs about the other, is that just to continue the show and are they both laughing behind the scenes? My rescue kitties, Jake and Zoe, are fascinated by the whole process!
—Arlene in Virginia

Dear Frankenstein Duos:
Oh, honey, it's quite rare that these formulated couples dissolve with no fallout—public or otherwise. See, while lovey-dovey feelings might not be hurt, public images are. So when one half of the fakey duo leaves the other in the lurch, well, sad breakup songs are the least of it! Lawsuits, money and dirty gossip's more the norm!

Dear Ted:
Will Bradley Cooper's Vice somehow be revealed, sooner rather than later?
—Steph

Dear Specific:
That depends entirely upon Bradley and his computer, I mean, companions.

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