Harry Potter Doesn't Have Time for Sex—He's Got Real Things to Do

What’s everyone saying about the Twilight vs. Potter conflict?

By Ted Casablanca, Ivana Dukanovic Nov 19, 2010 2:53 PMTags
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Now that the rest of you have a chance to see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (midnight shows, duh!), we thought we'd get a little diplomatic about all things Potter vs. Twilight.

As much as we love you loyal Twi-hards out there, you can't knock the H.P. business just 'cause there's a lack of lustiness. And same goes for you Potterheads claiming Twlight is only about nabbing a dreamy, undead BF!

But before the wizard wannabes get to waving their angry wands at us, we just might have to agree that Daniel Radcliffe's sorcery is a tad bit sexier than Edward and Bella's brooding sex life. Why's that, you ask?

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"They have lives," a Potter preferring fan (who wishes to remain nameless for obvious safety reasons) put it so perfectly.

While Harry has much heftier things to worry about—like an evil villain who killed his parents and who is now out to destroy him and the whole friggin' wizarding world—Edward and Bella are bickering about whether or not he'll turn her into a vamp so they can get to snoggin'.

We like a man who's on a schedule—and a dangerous one at that!

Now, we know what you Potterheads are thinking:

"How can those drooling twits believe a love triangle between a human, a vampire and a werewolf could be more important than the trials of a boy fighting the Lord Voldemort? Hello! Harry & Co. have spells, potions and loads of crucial 'real-life' s--t to worry about."

But those seeing things through Twi-colored glasses would say:

"Hogwarts is pure fun adventure, but pooh-pooh in the love department. When do Harry and Jenny Weasley get all hot and bothered? And why haven't Emma Watson and Rupert Grint's characters got it on yet? Talk about bad sexually tension! Plus, what makes Lord Voldemort anymore dangerous than the Volturi, huh?"

Which do you think is sexier? We're sure you have an opinion you don't want to hold back.