Bitch-Back! What's Behind Justin's New Glasses?

Get your answers to last week’s sad news and some Vicey gossip

By Ted Casablanca Oct 05, 2010 12:04 PMTags
Justin TimberlakeStephen Lovekin/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
I was watching Justin Timberlake being interviewed on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and I have to say it was so boring! Whether it was his grandmother-like sweater, or his over-size glasses, he had no personality! Not interesting! Nothing! Is that what he's like in person? I can't believe that he's the most famous out of all the ex-band members!
Doli

Dear Out-of-Sync:
We can totally believe it. He's the hottest out of them, duh. Still, J.T.'s nerdifying getup is so people start thinking of him as a serious actor, didn't you know? Sure, he did a pretty good job of playing the cocky douche in Social Network, but we miss Justin the singer. Timberlake isn't exactly as boring as you'd think in real life, though GF Jessica Biel certainly makes them give off a Gyllenspoon vibe 90 percent of the time. That said, Justy had better watch it. He's pushing the cocky-dork look way too much.

Dear Ted:
Love the Awful Truth Archive, thank you so much! Hope you can answer me these pretty simple questions: Does Nelly Fang have a beard (or a so-called girlfriend) now? If so, is she an actress or model?
3 little pig

Dear Pig Wig or Beard?
Nelly doesn't have a beard. He certainly screws who he wants when he wants, male or female. And glad you're feelin' the archive!

Dear Ted:
I am a big Twilight fan, but one of my faves rarely gets talked about—Jackson Rathbone. I have suspicions that talk of him is hiding behind a Blind Vice. Will you confirm my suspicions? My pup Emmet sends love to your babies!
Jeannie

Dear Throw a Dog a Rathbone:
Sorry, can't confirm your suspicions! The fact Jack stays out of the Hollywood scene means he stays out of our B.V.s, too. Kisses to Em, I bet he's a gem.

Dear Ted:
How long have Judas Jack-Off and Dashed Dingle-Dream been an item? What is up with them lately?
Jules

Dear Couple Curious:
Years. Same thing that happens to tons of long-time couples: boredom, fights and stupid conversations they regret afterwards.

Dear Ted:
Is Anna Kendrick our "Deceitful Little Diva"?
Sam

Dear Deceived:
Sorry babe, that's a no. Think older.

Dear Ted:
It is not your place to bully young actors into coming out of the closet in order to help others. You have no idea what each person can or can't handle emotionally. They may not be able to do so without doing serious damage to them mentally. I was pushed into telling "my story" about a horrible event that happened to me in my childhood so I could help others heal. I wasn't ready to share and it crippled me in many areas of my for a long, long time. To think you are providing some kind of service by goading these actors with huge fan bases to come out is a big misnomer. You are dead wrong. And, incredibly insensitive. You are the bully, but you don't see it. If you truly care as you say you do and are so heartsick over last week's events then stop targeting these young actors! Do you not see how incredibly vile and hypocritical you and Perez are?
J

Dear Shooting at the Wrong Target:
All we are saying is that if sharing your story wasn't such a supposed crime, there would be less tragedy and more love out there.  Maybe you should take a look at my post one more time. This time, try targeting my real message, instead of me.

I care. Wouldn't be here if I didn't.

Dear Ted:
Can you explain to me the point of this Spiderman reboot? It hasn't been that long since Tobey Maguire reinvented the character. The series is a modern classic, especially the sequel featuring Alfred Molina as Doc Oct. I think it's a useless idea and waste of money. Has Hollywood really run out of original ideas? Sucks! Take care.
C

Dear Over It:
Go see The Social Network and then tell me if you're not excited about seeing Andrew Garfield slip into something blue, red and tight.

Dear Ted:
Do you think Ashley Greene and Joe Jonas are pulling an Easy A on us? I mean, all of the in-your-face "I'm sexually active" stuff is a bit too much, or am I way off?
Bebe

Dear Straight Aer:
Can't say a possible PR stunt hasn't crossed my mind, but then again, maybe there is some under-the-covers tutoring going on with this cute couple. Whatever the case, let's see if they graduate with flying colors or flop ‘til they drop.

Dear Ted:
Just wondering if there is anything new with Fey Oiled-Tush? Is he still busy flying 'round the world getting his groove on? 
Sinead

Dear Up in the Air:
Isn't he always?

Dear Ted:
Your comment on you being raised by a Republican mother in Texas, who valued her hair and church more than you was a moving insight in the whole A.T.-Ted phenomenon that is you. It was personal, precise and very touching. Now I feel like I understand how you are able to, very gracefully, see both sides in a story, the way you do (annoying as it is, sometimes). PS: You really, really picked up my nicely discussed dislike of Posh's looks, last time. You are funny and make me smile. Have a very nice day, babe!  
Sugarsnap

Dear Sweet Stuff:
Glad to hear my story made someone refocus their Awful glasses. I am all about sharing as long as everyone gets that I am actually caring. On a lighter note, literally, Posh needs a piece of pie to go with that cheater platter. Hasn't she heard carbs do the wounded heart good? Stay sweet and not too light, Sugarsnap.

Dear Ted:
Bravo Ted! Your Gay Suicide on the Rise message really touched me. You have always been an example of a gay human being following his path, living his life and making something positive out of it. But, Ted, come on, it doesn't matter how often stars come out, how much you promote tolerance and peace. As long as politicians vote for laws forbidding gay peers, i.e. fellow human beings, to have the right to marry, have children, show their love or whatever other notion heterosexuals freely choose in order to live their love lives, their actions will always promote hating.
Rita

Dear Politically Correct:
If Washington won't do anything about this unacceptable epidemic, why can't Hollywood take a stab at it? These stars are role models, icons and, to some young souls out there, indirect friends. If they can voice their true colors, they are giving our voiceless youth courage to lead in a celeb-fashion...whether hetero or homosexual. And let's face it: Until H'wood makes being gay socially acceptable for good, we'll be on hold for a while.

Dear Ted:
I'm sorry but this is all I can do voice my comments on Robsten. Robert should stick with acting, get an Oscar, get rich and then try music. He sounds terrible, only two songs are okay. His agent, Stephanie, is doing a good job making Rob her cash cow. Do they have a love relationship?
Norma

Dear So Wrong:
Robsten are on, and no amount of cash or any cow is getting in the way of that, for now. If Rob's musical skills are as lasting as his facial hair, that will be for his fans to decide. Let's be real, haters have no say when in comes to Edward, the sexy vamp. Sounds like you're on Team Trouble, not Edward. Run for Twi cover. And as for Stephanie, yeah right! They're strictly business.

Dear Ted:
Regarding the spouse of Pepper Harthman. Would most of us recognize her if we passed her on the street?
Vicey Vicerson

Dear Salt and Pepper:
Not unless you're a die-hard fan of Pepper and/or the team he plays for.