Robert Pattinson Stalkers, Be Warned!

Leo DiCaprio’s stalker brought into court

We think it's about time you Rob Pattinson fans stop bitchin' at us for dishing the deets on his latest trip to SoHo house—especially when we know you'd bitch even more if we didn't tell—cause there's plenty worse that the dude could be dealing with.

Just ask Leonardo DiCaprio. Does the name Aretha Wilson ring a bell?

She's Leo's fave fan—the face-slashing, country-fleeing Canuck, of course—and one of his numero uno crazies (only to be matched by the "mother" of his child, ya know, Jesus Christ).

But the A-lister is finally (probably) going to see the kuku crazy broad face the justice system, first stop: she plead "not guilty" in the courts today and a pretrial is set for October.

We're not trying to be biased, but we're think the lady will have plenty of time to watch Titanic on repeat serving seven or so years in the big house.

18,965 times, actually.

And while we've already established that Robby's got the more sane fans (specializing in breaking and entering more than violent attacks, natch), Leo's been in the game a lot longer.

Take a moment to just remember how adorable Leo was as the lovable homeless boy on Growing Pains. Clearly the best episodes, if you ask us.

So it won't be long before some of those Twihards turn into New Moon maniacs. But remember—stalking doesn't pay. Here's a better idea: every time you get the urge to lurk in R.Pattz shadows, just cuddle up to your Edward Cullen body pillow instead.

You can't go to jail for that…we think.