Bitch-Back! Are Secret Romances the Way to Go?

Readers wonder why the love is behind closed doors, and what’s going on in Budapest?

By By Ted Casablanca Apr 13, 2010 12:00 PMTags
E! Placeholder Image

Dear Ted:
What is up with celebs pretending they're not dating when they so clearly are? Like Kellan Lutz and AnnaLynne McCord, for example. Not even Robsten are seen kissing in public and getting cozy on the beach. Why don't they just admit it? It seems to me like it'd blow over a lot quicker if they did!
—Alishe

Dear Hype:
Maybe they don't want it to blow over. They love the media chatter more than Rob and Kristen, trust. Kellan and AnnaLynne had quite the vacay recently, and the paparazzi were most definitely invited. Now we'd love to see Robsten on a similar getaway!

Dear Ted:
You've been very nice in answering my questions so here's another! I read a little "quote," supposedly from Rob Pattinson's Aunt Diana saying he has quit speaking to quite a few of his relatives, "froze them out" is what she said. Also that they no longer have Christmas get-togethers (he could be in another country?) and birthdays are ignored. She says that fame has gone to Rob's head, and she had no idea in the world that he could ever act like this. Your thoughts, please?
—Sunnie

Dear Family Drama:
Aunt Diana is not exactly the most credible source—in 2009, she said she didn't think it would be wise for Rob and Kristen to date, and now she is saying how they are totally in love...doesn't seem like she is the most dialed-in babe. Plus,if you were Rob with an "Aunt Diana," wouldn't you freeze the chatterbox out, too?

Dear Ted:
People are crazy with this Miam stuff. She never looks happy with him, but with Nick she was always glowing. All this wedding stuff is so dumb, don't you think? I don't believe it. Clearly, Miley and Nick are destined. Why would she buy a house closer to Nick if she was going to marry some other guy? Come on, Miley is not that cold. It's time for Miley and Nick to get back together, don't you agree?
—Jonas Girl

Dear Time:
You're right, maybe Miley and Nick will rekindle their love next time there's a neighborhood block party. Don't think Miley isn't planning something so basic.

Dear Ted:
The prearrangement theory you mentioned over the weekend doesn't fly for beards, because who is to say Tiger and Elin didn't have an arrangement that let him bang skanks? We know they didn't, but that doesn't mean we knew they or others like Sandra/Jesse James or whomever didn't before it was reported. Therefore, the very same rules should apply. Everyone wants equality, but only when it doesn't harm someone's image. Bullock's, I say!
—Arranged

Dear Adamant One:
True, and many of these straight couples do have arrangements on the side. But, again, for the most part, it's these cash hungry babes who are doing the outing themselves. That's not gonna be the case for Toothy's male conquests. Or is it?

Dear Ted:
How are your pooches? I am an adopted mom of a 2 y/o shepherd mix. He is awesome. Can you please tell me if Rocky Trailer is in all of the Twilight movies filmed so far? Thanks for always getting the word out about adoption! Adopt Don't Shop!
—Dog Lover

Dear Rocked:
Charlie
and Margo, who are currently eating something they're not supposed to, are quite well, thank you very much. As to your query, mom, let's just say this: Rocky's an integral part of the whole Twi-tease.

Dear Ted:
Regarding your Robsten shirt story. Well, it only justifies our Nevis Devine theory. Non? Much love from Montreal, and if I may suggest, could you pretty please make every week a Robsten birthday?
—Rita

Dear Divine:
And the theory is...?

Dear Ted:
Sadly, I can't claim to be a rescuer given that in my apartment building, there's an old hag who hates animals. But I hope you might still answer my BV question: does Ewan McGregor's wife appear in his Blind Vice? BTW, still figuring what The Men Who Stare At Goats was about. Love from Uruguay to you and your furry children!
Mariana

Dear Thirsty for More:
That's a no, sweetheart! And go throw that apartment hag a bone, already. Sounds like she needs a juicy one.

Dear Ted:
Although I do have another guess for the douchebag that is Moisty Mohr, I just have to take this shot—Is Moisty Alec Baldwin? There are a couple clues in your post about the A.B. solo vacay that point M.M. in a different direction, but you also used the word "moist"...twice! Such a revolting word that it must be used sparingly if at all, so am I close?
—JR

Dear Sweaty Solo:
Fabo guess, but you're so barking down the wrong Vice tree for Baldwin.

Dear Ted:
It is sickening how much glee I get out of the distraction that is Robsten. Just love it, love it, love it. We all now know they trade clothes and romp around the world for there relaysh. Where are they headed now? Any tropic vacays in the near future? To gasp we thought we'd have to wait until the Eclipse press tour for this stuff. PS—Will Summit allow K.Stew and R.Pattz to do the same tour together, or will they be conveniently visiting different cities?
—Amanda

Dear Tour de Love:
Believe London is Robsten's next stop. Don't think Kristen has too too much going on before Eclipse madness. Love it, or love it?

Dear Ted:
One of the tabloids is reporting that Angelina Jolie is 2 1/2 months pregnant. Is this fact or fiction? With 6 children under the age of 9 I would think what little free time she has should be focused on the children she already shares with Brad Pitt.
—Curious

Dear Mama:
Angelina has enough on her hands between Brad and the kids. I'll believe it when I see it.

Dear Ted:
So I just went and saw a John Mayer concert in Chicago (which was incredible) and I have to say, the guy seemed genuinely honest and humble. Is there any chance he has shut his mouth?
—Closed

Dear On Stage:
J.'s been known to show his tender side on stage, and the good boy charm certainly jives with the new Mayer his PR team has help set up. Question is...which one do you prefer?

Dear Ted:
Greetings from Venezuela! I'm the guardian of a beautiful dog thanks to your guidance and it has been one of the best actions I have done in my life. I have been reading your section and I can not deny it: I love it! What do you think of the photos of Robsten in Budapest? A further confirmation of what you, me and the rest of the world know: Robsten is alive! Are the suits of Summits still in denial? Latin Kisses!
—Twi-girl

Dear Budapest Babes:
The suits were never in denial. Just think once they realized how Rob and Kristen can work and play, they stopped caring. Remember, some studio peeps think they should just get it all out in the open [link to "out in the open" piece], and we kinda agree! 

Dear Ted:
Who would you ef, marry, kill (by this I mean discard without remorse—don't want you getting into any trouble or have your message boards calling you a killer) out of the following three: Robert Pattinson, Leo DiCaprio, and George Clooney. Bear in mind that I'm sure you'd bang all 3. I have, in my mind, anyway.
—Paula

Dear Don't Hate the Player Hate the Game:
Toughy. Marry George, ef Rob, discard Leo.

________

Want more? Head to our Bitch-Back section!