Bitch-Back! Toothy, Sandy and Twilight Stir It Up!

Readers really worry about T2 and Sandy, and they think vamp fans are crazy

Dear Ted:
What do you think about the Twilight fandom? I admit being a part of it, but I think they have totally gone too far...especially lately. Some fans are taking things way too personally and think that they actually have the right to demand things. I find it rude and disrespectful. Yes, Summit asked for fan feedback because they obviously have no idea what to do and just want to please the psychotics, and I honestly think that is the reason why the movies suck as much as they do.
—Em

Dear Twi-Hard:
I can't hate on the vamp lovers for being enthusiastic, but like all fandoms, you're going to have a few loose screws thrown in with the lot. And Summit has more problems than just listening to the fans too much—like, say, getting a good script, for starters.

Dear Ted:
I agree with your blog post that Sandra Bullock probably didn't know about Jesse James earlier in awards season, but if you check out this link it looks like she did know by the time of the Oscars.
—Melinda

Dear Acting Class:
I stand by saying that I doubt Sandy would (deliberately and knowingly) put on a red carpet act, but even if she did know about Jesse's growing number of on-the-side skanks, can you blame the baby for wanting to keep it under the radar and fix her marriage behind closed doors? Sounds like a classy way to handle a totally sucky situation.

Dear Ted:
You've said that Selena Gomez is a sweetheart, which I wholeheartedly believe, so given their falling out, does that mean Demi is not so nice herself? I just don't see why they'd lose their BFF status unless one of them—probably Demi, given her snide comments about Selena—isn't that nice of a person or is a phony. Hoping you can illuminate as much as the E! lawyers will let you!
—Kelly

Dear BFFs No More:
Just because their friendship bombed, doesn't mean one girl necessarily caused it more than the other. Think about how much drama goes down between chicks in a regular high school, and now consider that these Disney darlings live their lives in the limelight. BFFs today, frenemies tomorrow.

Dear Ted:
I love reading A.T. I'm so annoyed about other so-called-faithful readers who are complaining about you posting too much Twilight or telling us like it is that Remember Me was not a great movie. It is what it is. Twilight is a hot topic now, so news is abundant. Remember Me wasn't a great movie...It wasn't unique and it banked too much on Rob's fame—all Summit's fault and has nothing to do with the acting by the cast. This is entertainment news. Read it. Enjoy it...or not. Get over it because something new will come along in a few minutes.
—K

Dear The Truth Hurts:
Are you sure you're an A.T. fan? You seem far too sensible to be reading this nonsense!

Dear Ted:
You've said Keanu and Sandra would never be romantically together. You've also said Keanu is a B.V. vet. Is his B.V. the reason they would never hook up? Just so you know, I'm the "mom" to three rescue dogs. The last one was 12 years old when we got her. She was also blind, heartworm positive with rotting teeth and they told us she probably wouldn't last a year. Cut to 18 months later and she's feistier then her younger brothers. Puppies are cute, but older dogs need homes, too.
—Nicole

Dear Saint Nicole:
Bless you. For your reward, however, I must confess that I cannot answer you.

Dear Ted:
Since Toothy's and Grey's careers aren't doing so well, any chance that coming out would improve their lot—maybe make people want to see them more since they would be less boring if they were gay and acting straight?
—S

Dear Talk on Town:
T2 and G2 may get a whole lot of tabloid buzz if they come out, but both of the dudes are still totally terrified they won't get the roles they want if studio types know they're gay—especially Toothy, who loves his heartthrob status.

Dear Ted:
Please shed light as to why these "other" women in Jesse James' life did not go public before now! If these things were going on for several years, why did none of these women say anything until a time when it would hurt Sandra the most (on the heels of her Oscar win)? What am I missing here? If Jesse is indeed a slimeball, they could have made the affairs public before now and still gotten their tabloid fees. I just detest their timing of coming forward now as it hurts Sandra a lot more than it does Jesse.
—R

Dear Bad Timing:
I think you just answered your own question. Sure they would have gotten their names in headlines if they'd fessed up, pre-Oscars, but nothing even approaching the infamy level they're getting now.

Dear Ted:
Are two of your favorite gay B.V.s, Crescent Kumquat and Judas Jack-Off, native of the same geographical area? And why do Toothy Tile and Grey Goose have couples issues? Toothy dropped/was dropped by his beard and seems happy about it; Grey only use his fag-hag for red carpet events and very rare paparazzi pictures. They're both working as usual, so it should be like their second honeymoon phase instead of the "Is it your CD or mine?" moment.
—A

Dear Blinded by the Slight:
Just like with straight couples, gay couples suffer from competitive careeritis, too. As is the case with Tooth 'n' Grey. And no to the geo query.

Dear Ted:
I'm surprised how much hate you get because you've said Rob's movie bombed, even though you were totally going on statistics and you've clearly stated over and over again that you love him! What is it with these people?
—Ju Ju

Dear Love Games:
It's OK. Rob can be so sexy sometimes that even I can't think clearly, either. It's affecting us all.

Dear Ted:
Are Roxy Couture and Stud-Bucket LeBeouf Sandra and Jesse?
—Jennifer

Dear Perfect Timing:
Nope, but you're not the only one who linked the Oscar winner to this B.V. post-Bombshellgate. And really, do you think I would qualify Jesse as a totally doable studbucket? Gross.

Dear Ted:
Don't know if you're up for rescue cats as well as dogs, but I have three of them and volunteer one day a week for a local no-kill shelter. My question: Is Toothy Tile George Clooney? I'm sure he's gay, and he always looks unhappy in photos with his "dates."
—Icarus

Dear Cat Lady:
I've got love for all rescue pets, but G.C. is not T2. but maybe George should bring his flask to more outings, because he looked rather smiley at the Oscars.

Dear Ted:
I am appalled at the way Hollywood uses child stars, milks cash from them while they are still young and cute and then dumps them when they get older. No wonder most of them end up doing drugs or in major depression. Speaking of which, is Justin Bieber on his way to your infamous B.V. column, or is he as innocent as he looks? A yes answer from you would definitely prove my point.
—Nicolas

Dear Teen Beat:
J.B. is still totally a kid, even if he wants you to think otherwise. He's as harmless as his corny love songs—don't expect him to grab a B.V. honor anytime soon.

Dear Ted:
Could you please stop responding to the mails saying you bashed R. Pattz. I believe those are sent by people who just wanna see their mail in your Bitch-Back section. Among the gossip sites I've read, you still seem to be one of the most objective columnists around. Kudos for that!
—Monty

Dear M:
I'm sorry, did you say something?