Bitch-Back! Was Sweet Taylor Ever a Li'l A-Hole?

Taylor Lautner might have been a d-bag back in the day, and readers still respond to Adam Lambert’s performance

Dear Ted:
My friend knew Taylor Lautner back in the day when they were in the same karate circuit, and he tells me that Taylor was really cocky and arrogant, just a total d-bag. Is he still the same way? Because after seeing New Moon, I so want to be on Team Jacob, but not if he isn't the sweet guy he acts like he is. Not buying the whole Tay-Squared deal either. Lots of love!
—V.D.O. 

Dear Jocking Jacob:
Every time we've chatted with Taylor he's been a doll. But those usually are the fishy types, when they're all Reese Witherspoon-y. Still, haven't heard much about Lautner's being like that. Tell your friend to cut him some slack—we were all idiots at some point back in the day. 

Dear Ted:
First off, I'm a faithful reader. Love your style. So I hate to actually put my thoughts into words and make it real but...I may be slightly converted to Team Jacob after New Moon. I mean, seriously! That kid's body should be illegal. And his personality—not as annoying in the movie as it was in the book. So naturally, I want some dirt on him. Maybe dirty him up in my eyes...like he needs to be any sexier! I know about the "showmance" with T2, and that's a li'l too PG-13 for my tastes.
—Can't Choose a Side

Dear Dirty Lautner:
Well, according to the reader above, maybe he was a little dink a few years ago. But I think he's a sweetheart! And I'm with ya—Jacob was almost too likable in New Moon. 

Dear Ted:
Just a comment, sweetie. It's about time the music world got someone like Adam Lambert. Rock hasn't been this fun since Freddie Mercury was around. I love him to death and especially his over-the-topness (does that make sense?). All the boo-birds can take a flying you-know-what! More on Adam, please—so much more interesting than the boring Twilight antics.
—Spanky

Dear Rockin' Out:
Totally agree, Adam is what music needs. Let's get him and Lady Gaga together.

Dear Ted:
You know I love ya, but I can't stand this whole Robsten crap anymore! Ooh, two actors hook up on set! Wowza, like that hasn't happen before ever in the history of movies! (And with hotter people then them!) Yes, I said it! Don't get me wrong Ted, I love you and all that you do, but I don't understand the whole thing around them...Why should we care? Please explain.
-Xmas 

Dear Robsten Hater:
We care because Twilight is, like, the hottest thing in Hollywood (and the world) right now, and because of that, so is Robsten. So we report. We love the couple, because they're different. Rob and Kristen are hardly a classic tale of boy meets girl on set. They're way more interesting than that.

Dear Ted:
So now that you have told me that Kristen Stewart and Nikki Reed have a "special" relationship, but they aren't as tight as they once were, where does that leave Robert Pattinson? Does he still loathe the chick, or has he forgiven her for whatever? I thought it was really sweet that Rob's Brit Pack friends showed up to the premieres and such. I have a tight group of longtime friends, so I think that says a lot about Rob. I can understand it as there are about five of my dearest friends that I would love to share something like that with. Happy Turkey Day, make sure you give your doggies a special treat! Nikki and Rob, please make up!
—Erica 

Dear Peacemaker:
Let's just say Rob and Nikki are hardly as cozy as they once were. It happens, though. Not everyone is going to be supertight on set. Kristen is more Rob's type, ya know.

Dear Ted:
Is Whore-Hey Hoeman, Anderson Cooper? Are Judas Jack-Off and Dashed Dingle-Dream, Jake Gyllenhaal and Austin Nichols? Thanks, and I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving.
—DDSunshine

Dear Guessing Game:
Wrong guesses, babe! But all of them have obviously been Vicers, you've just got the wrong pairings. Happy T-Day to you, too!

Dear Ted:
I'm curious about how you get information and, more importantly, what is the criteria that you use when deciding who to write about. Yesterday, you were asked about a variety of different actors. You picked "Jackles" as one that intrigues you. Why? Good looking...seemingly close friends...but there are tons of other actors who work together, and their show will end soon, probably. So what, specifically, is it that makes you want to write about them?
—Roget 

Dear Work Ethics:
Because it's my blolumn.

Dear Ted:
The grief over the Janet Jackson performance and the Adam Lambert performance is the fact that we were not given the information needed to make the choice to change the channel. Adam just came from American Idol (somewhat wholesome) and fans had no reason to believe that they were in store for a pornformance. I did not have a problem with the kiss—I don't care who he kisses. But the simulated fellatio was a little off-putting. Porn has its place, and it is not on my living room TV while watching with G-ma and G-pa. It is called respect, and as a citizen of this great country, I demand it.
—Penrypd 

Dear Overdoing It:
You weren't given the info needed to make the choice to change the channel? What info do you need? It's pretty easy to click a button if you don't see something you like on TV, hon. Again, no clothes went flying off stage, it was a performance, not porn! Britney has been doing that kinda stuff for years and no one cares.

Dear Ted:
What about an update on Gwyneth Paltrow, aka Fishstick? Why is her career over? And is it true that she is the biggest be-yotch in Hollywood?
—Clocks 

Dear Gwyneth Down the Crapper:
Paltrow's career isn't even on a comeback radar, so that's a bad sign. She's one of the bitchiest, but everyone knows it. So in a weird way that makes her less bitchy than some of her fellow A-listers who are closet divas. You follow?

Dear Ted:
Megan Fox is this year's Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel, who were touted as the sexiest/most beautiful women alive and had the Hollywood PR in full swing trying to make them happen, but alas, they didn't. Their careers are in the crapper, and that's where Megan's career is going to be in the near future.
—Bea 

Dear No Faith:
Don't put Meg in a category with those snores. We heart her. Jennifer's Body aside, she has much more potential that Jess and Jess.

Dear Ted:
I didn't like the Glambert at the AMAs, not because of the kiss/crotch grabbing/BJ but because he sounded terrible and looked like he was having no fun at all. The system chewed him up and will spit him out when there's no juice left (and he's almost there). Even his face looks hardened and jaded, and he was so beautiful on American Idol. Pity, I had high hopes for him.
—Frida 

Dear Shambert:
I think that he was pretty good, and nowadays it's more about the performance as a whole. And we all know he can sing, so I think he'll be here for a while. But I agree with you, his song isn't my style. 

Dear Ted:
I was just thinking about you. Why do I feel like we do get the truth from you about my favorite—the Twi-twosome or about anyone else for that matter? What I have noticed is that if you like a celeb, you will report the good and the not so good, and if you don't like someone, you report the not so good and then the wishful thinking on their behalf. I guess that gives me reason to trust your site—unlike most other gossips who only care about the "shock" and most hateful of things to write to get attention. So, what made you such a respectable and caring person?
—Kriszo 

Dear Too Kind:
Thanks, but you're going too far. Respectable, maybe, but caring is really pushing it.

Dear Ted:
I thought One Tree Hill was just a handy closet for storing beards and boyfriends whilst not in use. Are you telling us the star of one of your Blind Vices also lurks there? If so, is it someone we thought was just a bit player, or did Chad Michael Murray manage to keep one of his exploits out of the tabloids?
—Curious Kate

Dear Nice Try:
Hmmm, I feel like if I answer this question, it'll be giving too much away.

Dear Ted:
I absolutely adore you for your efforts to help animals. Would you kindly post the following on your blog? Dairyland Greyhound Park—a race track in Kenosha, Wisc.—is closing on Dec. 31, 2009, and there are currently hundreds of greyhounds that need a loving home. Please, please, please, adopt one if possible. They make wonderful pets! Thanks, Ted. You truly help make a difference in lots of animals' lives with your efforts. Hugs to you!
—Valerie

Dear Animal Lover:
Will do babe, and thank you for letting me know about this.