The Awful Truth

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Dear Ted:
Any dirt on Joe Jonas? And do you think he really did cheat on Taylor Swift? Too bad, I liked them as a couple.
—Phii 

Dear Joe Dirt:
I like Tay-squared better. And no new dirt on Jonas, other than he's in Madrid alone right now. Pity the poor Spaniard chicks there who get treated like he did Taylor. Who does Joe think he is, Doug Reinhardt? And it's just dumb that Joe's still supposed to be so clean and innocent. Give me Nick any day. And as for Swift—how come she always comes out from these Hollywood relayshes unscathed? It's very suspicious, I'm keeping my eye on that cutie.

Dear Ted:
You know, I think Brad Pitt likes his women skinny. Gwyneth Paltrow got even thinner when they were together and so did Jennifer Aniston. I bet Angie lives on celery and lettuce out of fear that if she puts on the pounds, Brad will leave her for a younger, sexier and thinner starlet.
—Hmph 

Dear Nice Catch:
You know, thinking back on it, they all did skinny up while with him. But they don't all share the same eating habits, trust.

Dear Ted:
Did you see the Taylor Lautner interview the other night with Giuliana Rancic? She asks him what he likes to do on a first date, and he mentions that maybe "going to a game, like a hockey game." Oh really? Like the one he went on with Taylor Swift? More proof Tay-Tay is really happening? What do you think?
—Vanness

Dear Lovey-Dovey:
Kinda convenient, don't you think? I don't know anyone who gives up that kinda obvious dish. But maybe that's why Taylor's so smart. Lotso folks don't realized this nearly enough.

Dear Ted:

How does Brad Pitt keep telling himself it's OK for the mother of their kids to be on...uh...the mystery diet? Does he not care what example that's setting for these children that he supposedly treasures and adores?
—Jkr

Dear Mommy Meal:
The kids are still too young to figure out hey, mommy's lookin' real thin lately. But I'm hoping Brad's stepping in and making sure the kids are doing well. And even though Angie might be going through some stuff, she still takes care of her little ones.

Dear Ted:
What's the deal with the most conspicuous move to get no photos of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, or really, the entire threesome, on the red carpet at the L.A. premiere? Not only is that bad P.R. and somewhat rude to the fans, but it's a noticeable shift from the Europe promo. Can you give your take on it?
—Rrr

Dear Three's Not Company:
The three were snapped together at the afterparty, but yes, I share your pain. But the carpet was so crazy, and for once, press peeps were concerned about getting the cast to the media that had been waiting five hours instead of hiding them behind photo ops the entire time. Fine by me! Plus, there are tons of pics of the three of them anyway.

Dear Ted:
I've been a fan of Adam Lambert since I first saw him on American Idol. I was happy for him when he came out, but now I'm just becoming increasingly angry. His management team is apparently trying to make him look straighter? Are you kidding? Can you turn a flamingo green? They have him say things like "male sexuality scares people," or "sexuality is fluid," but all I see are his managers having a panic attack. Are they scared he'll lose sales because he's gay? Welcome to the real world, guys. Not everyone likes us. I would rather he keep his integrity than try and act a little more straight to make a few people comfortable. Can he please shut up talking about how he may or may not be straight or bisexual?
—Blue 

Dear Preacher Teacher:
Love Adam. But I think the confusion and mixed messages you're seeing from him might have more to do with the enormous pressure put on a young star to mature in the public spotlight and come out of the closet at the same time. Straight stars don't have this double-barrel pressure, so go easy on the dude—and please don't tell Adam to shut up about his sexuality. Het stars are told the exact opposite, so it's a pathetic double standard to ask otherwise.

Dear Ted:
How are you? How's the single life? I hope all's well in your world. I follow your A.T. daily for updates on our favorite onscreen/offscreen (?) couple Robert and Kristen. I appreciate your honesty and humor when sharing any news with us regular folks who are not in the business. Your writing often puts a smile on my face. I assumed you saw New Moon. How do you like the movie? I am not in my 20s or even 30s...so when mentioning such topics to my husband, I usually get a sigh or eyes rolling as a response.
—G

Dear Hubby Bashed:
Ef everyone else, come out with your obsession and join the club! Screw the hub-unit, as it were. New Moon is fab and I say you go see it in theaters for the whole experience!

Dear Ted:
I was sad to see that Rachelle Lefevre was not in attendance at the New Moon premiere. She took to her Twitter stating that it would be too emotional but I still believe she deserved to walk down the red carpet at the premiere because she was and will be the original Victoria. Since you were at the premiere I wanted to ask if someone, if anyone, felt Rachelle's absence or did they not even talk about it? I know Robsten was the main focal point at the premiere but still someone should have asked, "Where's Rachelle?"
—Faye

Dear Axed Rache:
She definitely was missed—especially by the worshipful fans. I get it, though. No one would have asked her any questions other than about getting canned, who needs that?

Dear Ted:
Was wondering if you could answer a quick question for me? I've recently developed a girl crush on Blake Lively, although I think that may have more to do with her character on Gossip Girl than anything else. I'd love to know what she's like in real life! Is she really as lovely and down-to-earth as she appears, or is she just very good at working her public image?
—Emma 

Dear Bitchy Blakey:
You know those girls who are constantly sitting around posing when there are no cameras? Enter Blake Lively. We loved her until witnessing some unfortunate bitchy encounters she's had with other media peeps. Not sure how she is with fans, though. I say stick with liking Serena!

Dear Ted:
Could Selena Gomez be able to leave behind "Miley's shadow"?
—Coco 

Dear Confusing:
Are you wondering if she's going to be a nobody in Miley Cyrus' shadow? If so, then no, don't think so. Miley is already spiraling down the Hollywood media slope...and Selena is still considered a Disney baby. Then again, that probably won't work for her.

Dear Ted:
It's easy to tell when certain celebs are "cracked out" on drugs (à la Morgan Mayhem), but what about the others, who never outwardly appear to be under the influence (e.g., Fake à la Ferocity)? How do they hide their addictions so well?
—Tjs

Dear Druggies:
A good P.R. team, lots of money and some makeup. M.M.'s so bad because she has just given up completely.

Dear Ted:
I have to say that after watching the almost failed livestream via MySpace from the New Moon red carpet, and listening to the most annoying host, I am utterly disappointed in you of all people. You said you were tweeting live from the premiere; however you only tweeted four times. I have seen you tweet a whole lot more from other premieres! Can you please tell me why this New Moon premiere was such a fail all around for fans? It really makes me wonder why Summit doesn't like their fans.
—Bzee

Dear WTF:
Take it from Team Awful, who attended the premiere—it was madness. Once talent started to arrive we got no break to tweet. Plus, when we tried, we could hardly get an Internet connection. Blame the thousand people there blocking it!

Dear Ted:
Ever since the craziness, I've been curious about Joaquin Phoenix. Where has he been?
—Lemon

Dear MIA Flight:
Figuring out how next best to shock us. Ain't gonna work, though.

Dear Ted:
First off, huge fan of your site (and it doesn't hurt that you are quite the hottie). But to get back to the purpose of this email—I know that everyone is certain on who Judas Jack-Off and Dashed Dingle-Dream is, but after careful scrutiny of your Vices, I've come to a different conclusion. So my question is as such: Were (as in the past tense) they costars at one point, and at one point vying for the same important movie role? I'm sure you will have a sassy answer for this, but part of me I guess will be happy just to see my question published on the Bitch-Back! 'Cause I'm certain I'm right on this one!
—Mike

Dear Figuring Out BVs:
Maybe they were, maybe they weren't. If I answered that, wouldn't it be giving too much away?

Dear Ted:
I think when Brangelina break up, Brad will go after Megan Fox. She would be the perfect replacement for Angie, don't you think?
—Magda 

Dear Rebounded:
Meg hates being compared to Angie, and quite honestly, I don't think he'll go for M.Fox at all. Shockingly, not his type. Plus she's still with her on/off again BF Brian Austin Green, remember?

Dear Ted:
Does Taylor Lautner have his own Blind Vice?
—Jaime

Dear Taylor Badass:
Nope, still young and innocent. I don't think H'wood pressure has gotten to him yet, but it's only a matter of time.

__________

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