Megan and Brian Hit the Hay—But Is He Ashamed?

Brian Austin Green doesn't want us to know he's back with Megan Fox—but why?

What the ef is going on with Megan Fox and her whatever Brian Austin Green? The on-and-off-and-on twosome celebrated Halloween early by hitting up the Los Angeles Haunted Hayride in Calabasas late last night, getting the bejesus scared straight out of 'em by the terrifying thrill ride.

Meg tried dumbing down how friggin' recognizable she is by donning a hat, but that didn't really help—the crowd and crew knew that glossy-lipped face anywhere, and proceeded to take pics of her on their cameras and cell phones.

And how did Brian defend his ladylove from the constant shutterbugs?

By literally jumping out of every photo. One source present on the scare site tells us, "Every time somebody wanted to take a photo of Meg, Brian would jump right out of the frame so they wouldn't be seen together."

A hayride ain't a red carpet, so we're not buying an excuse of Green graciously stepping out of the way so his honey could soak up the spotlight. Does Brian really not want us to know he and Meg are dating again? Because we already spotted the two of them backstage at the Scream Awards, lunching in the Valley, and smooching at the SNL afterparty.

Jig's up, doll.

Is supposedly being single supposed to be good for Green's and Foxy's careers right now? Or is BAG (and what a great acronym that is) not too positive he wants to be publicly back on with M.F. in case another It girl with tattoos comes along?

Whatever your reason is for keeping your status with your babe a secret, Bri, we think you're an idiot. You're the only dude in the whole effin' world who doesn't want to be caught next to Megan Fox. Let some other stud get a shot if you're so scared of being seen with her!