Twilight Hype Decoder: What's Real, What's Not?

As New Moon promos start to kick into overdrive, learn to distinguish between good and bad media reports

By Ted Casablanca Oct 16, 2009 6:32 PMTags
Taylor Lautner, Kristen Stewart, Robert PattinsonMarion Curtis/PictureGroup

With the New Moon premiere countdown on (one month exactly), the Twilight cast is going into press overdrive, and it's superimportant to learn the crap from the cool:

Now, E! Online's own Jen Cady (who some folks on Twitter seem to find even cattier than Answer B!tch—happy Jen?) gave a good rundown of what to find in this week's tabloids, but there's more you should know.

Here's how to sort what you need to pay attention to this week, from what you don't:

First off, gotta say, someone give Ashley Greene a cookie for accurately following her press notes (yes—we've seen a "do" and "don't" list given to the talent back during this year's Comic-Con) re: New Moon promotion!

We can summarize what they say in two phrases: deflect, deflect, deflect and Taylor Lautner!

But back to our Twi forecast, here are three points on how you must prepare...

1.  Get ready for more quotes like this one in People magazine:

" 'It's a pretty hot movie,' says Ashley, who thinks Stewart and Lautner 'have this undeniable chemistry.' "

Team Jacob is going to be pushed like no other in the next month—by Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, too. We've been told this from the get-go by the highers-up at Summit, and we're being told this still. This is an unavoidable gross-out move, sorry. Learn to accept it, not to read too much into the fact Taylor's name is inserted where Rob's usually is. It's about the storyline, nothing more.

2.  We love Robsten, but sorry, there is no love nest like they say in OK:

Guess where Team Awful stayed (by coincidence, too) up when we were up in Vancouver? The Sheraton Vancouver Wall Centre. The hotel was like a jail, not a love nest. Pap's were camped outside all day—and night. Also, the staff is on major restrictions there—they're not chatting to OK, hate to say. Rob and Kristen may cuddle up together, but it hasn't become a place they adore being in. More like they're just working with what they've got. Think prison showers—and with no soap, sorry, not sexy in the least.

3.  Really prepare yourself for multiple recycled interviews.

You put any of these Twilight kids on the cover of a mag and it'll be one of the highest-selling issues to date. Editors know this—they are scrounging to make old Twilight cast interviews relevant again. And with embarrassing results, too. Like that press release People sent out last week blabbing that R.Pattz couldn't "get a date." Uh, two things: He has a girlfriend, and that quote was from an interview as ancient as Nikki Reed's R.Pattz crush.

Another example: Back during the 2008 Comic-Con, did you know Summit PR peeps were begging press to interview Rob and Kristen? Swear, true story. Some reporters did it as a favor to their publicist friends, and now they've hit the jackpot. So when random outlets pop up with "exclusive new interviews" beware—some of the time they are very old.

Of course, there are many of our darling colleagues who would prefer we didn't mention that bit o' info. Too bad!

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R.Pattz or Taylor? Check out our gallery first, then decide.