Charley Gallay/Getty Images, Mark Sullivan/Getty Images, Jean-Paul Aussenard/Getty ImagesDear Ted:
What do you make of rumors that Nikki Reed is dating Paris Hilton cast-off, Paris Latsis? Trash-tastic? —workshy
Dear Detective Dubious:
Uh, no longer rumor, babe, remember? It's confirmed. Not to mention incredibly wily on Nikki's part. "Rob who?" she's probably saying—alas, but not thinking—right about now.
Dear Ted:
I really wish you and everyone else would leave Katherine Heigl alone. All she did was take herself out of consideration for an Emmy and admit that the quality of the material on Grey's Anatomy had decreased, which fans of the show already knew. For this and a remark about her character in Knocked Up that was totally misunderstood, everyone is making her out to be Shannen Doherty. She didn't need a nomination this year (she's won before). Heigl is one of the most beautiful and talented actresses working today, and she doesn't deserve such a bad reputation.
—Bryan
Dear Don't Pity Her:
There's an accepted way to handle yourself in this Biz. You don't publicly trash your show or your movie, as Kath did with both Grey's and Knocked Up. If you simply have to be honest about your work, do it later when you've already moved onto other projects, not when you still have to show up to work on the show you're belittling. That's why K.H. has constructed her own rep of being outspoken, but not in a good way.
Dear Ted:
I've been doing a lot of research on Robsten, being a latecomer to the whole Twilight explosion thing, and I've found that far from being excited to be together on sets and red carpets, they look uncomfortable. When Kristen Stewart is with Nikki Reed, however, Kreed (like that one?) cannot keep their hands off each other. I think that's the real relationship Summit's trying to hide. I think you are engaged in spreading disinformation.
—novemberfire
Dear Female Trouble:
Oh do you? Or perhaps I'm the only one who's helping to get at least an iota of the real truth out there? The latter's correct, not the former.
Dear Ted:
Ever since I discovered your amazing column, I've been a daily visitor! Recently you said Jen Aniston doesn't go for the "nice types of guys." Do you think that maybe it's because she's still in love with Brad Pitt and doesn't want her current relationships to last because she's still holding out for him to take her back in favor of Angelina?
—Robyn
Dear Nice Guys Finish Last:
Jen's not holding her breath for Brad—just another guy with the same brains and brawn as Brad. Unfortunately, she's somehow managed to pick up dudes without either of those qualities.
Dear Ted:
"Dear Wrong Reasoning: I don't care what the movies are about or about the talent involved. All I care is how smoldering the actors are on the carpet. And the Twilight cast wins, hands-down." Ted, In all of my years following your column this has got to be one of the worse responses you have ever given to anyone. So the only thing that matters is that they're smoking hot on the red carpet? The movie they made was s--tty, but they're hot? I'm stunned. The most important thing should be their work and talent; unfortunately it's been reduced to how hot they are and whether or not Robert Pattinson is poking K.Stew. I know this is a gossip blog, but I'm getting a little burned out on the whole Twilight thing. I really must be getting old.
—centaur
Dear Over the Hill:
Calm down. The item in question was about which cast is hotter. Not who's gonna win all the damn BAFTAS. The quality of their movies has zip to do with choosing the sexier cast.
Dear Ted:
I work for a movie theater, and I can't say which one, but it's a top corporation. Last year when Twilight came out, my mother, who is 44, watched it once a day for almost three weeks. Since I work there as a manager, she of course got to watch for free. I am so sure that when New Moon comes out, she is going to be there just as often, and it actually makes me fear for her mental health. She is freaking crazy! Can you see yourself ever being that obsessed with R.Pattz?
—R.I.
Dear Pattz-Obsessed:
Not when I can stare at his mug everyday for free on the Web. Repeat viewings are only for when the flick's on DVD.
Dear Ted:
It seems like Perez Hilton is trying to get some sympathy readers by relaying his pet troubles. Copycat much? I can't understand why people even go to his site. Thanks for all the Twilight scoop. God, I can't wait for New Moon!
—Sarah
Dear Animal Ally:
Wouldn't wish pet problems on anyone, even Perez.
Dear Ted:
I think Kristen Stewart has no fashion sense. The outfits she wears to spotlight events are so ugly on her. She always looks bored or like she's on drugs. I do like Emma Watson's look. She looked so good in that white and black leather dress. She's grown into a very pretty girl, and that is the girl Rob should go for.
—Brady
Dear Upper Class:
You're clearly more stuck-up than Rob is. Even K.Stew's Joan Jett-esque mullet isn't keeping him away. He doesn't care about that crap, anyway.
Dear Ted:
Instead of the Tabbies (which sounds cute and cuddly), how about the Troofies, a combination of truth, which you love to print (as much as your lawyers will let you) and roofies, which we'd all like to take on occasion to forget some of the ridiculously stupid things some of these celebrities do to others and themselves.
—Just Wondering
Dear Forget Me Not:
I never want to forget all the stupid stuff celebs say—tho they certainly wish I would!
Dear Ted:
Can we please ban Jon and Kate from the website like they who shall not be named? The coverage is getting ridiculous. No one cares about them!
—kaisa
Dear Reality Drama:
But they're both just too much deranged fun. I'm incredibly curious just how much more each ex-spouse can out-douche the other. But they really do stink as 'rents—let's make that much perfectly clear.
Dear Ted:
I recently read that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have asked for a Mr. & Mrs. Smith sequel in a desperate attempt to rekindle their relationship. Any Awful Truth take on this? Do they really think that making another movie will get their relationship back on track? Why is it off-track to begin with? Can't wait for them to crash and burn.
—Jill, Penn.
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Pitt-Jolie:
They haven't had a kid or adopted one in more than a year. A sequel would be to revive their careers, not their relationship (although it certainly thrives on how much press they're getting).
Dear Ted:
I loved so much Truth, Lies & Ted this week. I'm so sorry for your loss, but at the same time, it's truly inspiring, your call to save shelter dogs and kitties. I've had a shelter cat for already three years, and he is truly kind and sweet. It doesn't compare to the 15 years you spent with Butch, so I can only imagine. Keep on the animal love, babe!
—Mina
Dear Pet Pat:
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Dear Ted:
I just wanted to know if there was any way people who didn't get tickets to Comic-Con somehow watch it online or on TV?
—christinajoshua1
Dear Comic-Con Cut Out:.
Dress like Nikki Reed. You'll get lots of access, promise (just not sure it'll be the kind you want).
Dear Ted:
First I hear that Miley Cyrus and Nick Jonas are dating. Then, I hear that it's over. Next thing I know, Nick and Selena Gomez are together, but they're both denying everything. And now (apparently) Miley and Nick are together again. What's the deal? And what about that whole Demi Lovato-Selena Gomez-Miley Cyrus feud? They're all denying it, but after all, they have to keep up that lovey-dovey Disney Channel family BS. So what's the truth?
—Sarah, Baltimore
Dear Tween Trouble:
The truth is Nick and Miley heart each other and are so not over. Reverse those statements entirely regarding Selena and Miley, and you'll be on target, too!