The Awful Truth

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Dear Ted:
I believe we are responsible for our lives, no matter how awful some parents can be early in kids' lives. Why couldn't the brilliant Michael Jackson, adored and respected by all, spend his money finding help in the right places? He met great people in his journey who were in the business and who made it through to become decent human beings: Madonna, Quincy Jones, etc. Why couldn't he ask them for orientation, how to do it? Did he fall early on in the abyss of no return? He tried to live his kid life so desperately in his adulthood.
—Ornetari 

Dear M.J. Confused:
When people are that disturbed, they're missing the common-sense gene for sure. He just didn't think like that.

Dear Ted:
You practically tar and feather Isaiah Washington for calling T.R. Knight a f----t, but now you think that Perez Hilton is taking unnecessary heat for something that "happens all the time"? Talk about your double standard. Is it because Perez is gay that you are quite willing to brush it aside?
—Tina, Toronto 

Dear Word Cop:
I'm saying there's an enormous difference between a gay man taking an often anti-gay term back and spewing it right back out for total ef-you effect, as opposed to a straight man doing the same with a gay man. The black community does this reverse-empowering all the time, and I don't see them getting nailed to the cross for it. 

Dear Ted:
Has Reese Witherspoon ever worked with Nevis Devine?
—Jennifer

Dear Reese-spicous:
Nope. She has worked with other Blind Vice subjects...and been one herself!

Dear Ted:
First of all, my heart goes out to you and Jon for the loss of your beloved Butch. I understand how you feel, so here is a cyber hug from another animal lover. My question is about Robsten. I know the haters are a minority, but they are loud. Is this obsession from the haters affecting Rob and Kristen in any way?
—V.B., Atlanta 

Dear Robcerned:
Since I'm not tight with Robsten, I wouldn't know. But I can't imagine they pay attention to all that crap—or else they wouldn't make it in this Biz. 

Dear Ted:
Unlike one-note T.R. Knight, Isaiah Washington has talent. OK, he was wrong to call TR a f----t and has paid for it. Remember, he comes from a culture where blacks use profanity on one another in jest as well as anger. So he slipped up. In hypersensitive Hollywood, one word against gays and you're terminated, but no one questions creepy, middle-aged T.R. Knight dating a teenager. Gross!
—Akneuer 

Dear Cradle Robber:
Oh, darling, that comparison is a little far of a stretch. 

Dear Ted:
I read your tribute to Michael Jackson, and the last paragraph reminded of Britney Spears' situation. Her being a cash cow to her parents and others. At one point, she was good for a laugh, but now I really want Britney to do what's right for herself and stop looking to others for validation.
—Sweet Determination 

Dear Michael 2.0:
I think many people are seeing the Britney comparison. And like I've said before, she's not OK. But she's way more with it than M.J. was, so hopefully she can see that she needs help.

Dear Ted:
Is it just me or is Megan Fox's resemblance closer to a Bratz doll rather than Angelina Jolie? You keep us smiling.
—Robsten Fan

Dear Mean Girl:
Meow! Someone is Team Kristen I assume.

Dear Ted:
Is Dommy Do-Rightly Paris Hilton?
—Claudia 

Dear Rerun:
I'm pretty sure we answered this question here, babe, but nope, Paris and DDR are not one and the same.

Dear Ted:
Has Macaulay Culkin been a Blind Vice, or is his life so screwed he doesn't warrant the anonymity?
—Dave 

Dear Haunted Past:
Perish the weirdo thought. 

Dear Ted:
Is Emma Uh-Oh Mischa Barton?
—Amanda F., NYC 

Dear Oh No:
Sorry, ain't Misch. But excellent guess. Wrong hair color. 

Dear Ted:
Ted, being upset is no reason to disregard facts! Do you know when FDR began his civil rights push? In, 1941, seven years after he was first elected! But the major point is don't forget what happened in California, when millions of people voted to take rights away. More importantly, the Supreme Court is tilted to the right...any changes are going to be challenged and more rights will be lost. It's better if people feel like they came up with the idea themselves. If Obama does it, people who hate him will challenge it, win and it will set us even further back. It sucks, but Obama knows nothing will fire up the opposition more than him making a push in this fight, and not enough people are on our side yet. We are fighting with ya though! Xoxo
—Peacheor 

Dear History Lesson:
All of that stuff went right over my head in school.

Dear Ted:
The cover of Life & Style magazine had a picture of R.Pattz and K.Stew on it; it said that they were dating and that it's official. Is this true? Are they officially dating?
—Jessiepal 

Dear Label Lover:
I don't think Robsten is at all concerned with official titles. Just each other! 

Dear Ted:
I am so sorry you lost a family member this week. I work for a cat rescue group and would like to thank you for endorsing pet adoption. I have lost many cats along the way, but thank God everyday that I was able to give them a happy life. Butch may have had a tough beginning, but he knew he was loved every day of his life. I'm sure my kitty angels in heaven have welcomed him, and they are all chasing butterflies together. From one animal lover to another, my heart aches for you.
—Jennifer, Dallas

Dear Purrty Girl:
Much thanks, babe.

Dear Ted:
After your post about gay Sexiest Man, I'm sure many will ask you this question: Who are your top three? Can you even name a single one without outing them?
—Caffeinated 

Dear Too Many Eliminated:
I think 75 percent of Hollywood is closeted and therefore, axed in my Do-Me book!

Dear Ted:
Sorry to hear about Butch. I have a cat of my own and dread the day I will lose her. I hope I get to have her company for as many years as you had with Butch. But I have one gripe. Can you please find another picture of Bradley Cooper? He looks like some crazed dorky nerd thing in the one you use so often.
—JDW 

Dear Rerun:
After being irrelevant for so long, B.Coop just needs to get photographed more. But you're right, that pic is way too unflattering for the hottie. 

Dear Ted:
Come on, Ted, give us more info on Terry Tush-Trade. It's Jackson Rathbone, right? Please give use something to work with. It is driving me insane.
—Jessicaw 

Dear Jack Attack:
Precious little Jackson? Never! But you're thinking in the right circle now.

Dear Ted:
What have Pixie Mixie, Slurpa Pop-Off and Morgan Mayhem been up to lately?
—JCC 

Dear Bad Girls Still Bad:
Morgan's still a blatant mess, but we're so over reporting about her. And Pixie's completely turned her partying ass around, but Slurpa? The next Lohan, clearly. 

Dear Ted:
I am so sorry about Butch passing away. I enjoyed watching him in Truth, Lies, and Ted. He died the same day I had to put my 20 year old cat, Juju, to sleep because she had a stroke. She was the same breed and color as Butch. Hopefully they are together in cat heaven making mischief.
—Sweet Subversion 

Dear Kitty Heaven:
Jon, Margo, Charlotte and I really appreciate your sweet words. Thank you.