Vera Anderson/WireImage.comThe most shocking thing about Mel Gibson's split with his wife of nearly three decades—one that's sure to be messier than Madge and Guy's, believe us—is that it's happening at all.
M.G.'s a strict Traditionalist Catholic, remember, which explains the brood of seven kids (tho it'll certainly never excuse his notorious misogynistic and Jew-hating tirade, a performance he's more famous for than his movies).
Divorce is a helluva big no-no in the church, which makes us wonder just how long Robyn's been trying to pry herself out of this sinking marriage, as opposed to this separation business the two have faked since 2006.
We love that Robyn struck up enough courage to finally file the papers on the weekend of the holiest holiday there is for Christians, too!
What gutsy nerve! Did she just stop giving a damn about her zipper-free husband and his hypocritical beliefs any longer? Or did Mel finally let her out, proving once again what a huge duplicitous turd he truly can be?
Make that a dick-turd with a past:
We don't mean just this one recent instance of frolicking on a beach with a way-younger babe. There were plenty of other willing, pretty young things who wriggled their way between Mel and Robyn over the years—some a lot more famous than others. I've been going to Mel's publicist with this wandering-eye stuff since I was at Premiere, so it's safe to say Robyn's a really long-suffering spouse—to the nth degree.
What kind of wifely powers it must have taken for Robyn to stand beside Mel while he was wining and dining fellow Malibuian Britney Spears without slapping him right across his bearded face. M.G. spent more time fussing over Brit's career and well-being than his own, whisking her away to his pad in Costa Rica for a much-needed vacay. Ya know, outta the goodness of his heart, so he says.
Or so his crisis-management expert Alan Nierob would like us to think, instead of the likelier possibility of Mel sorta perving on poor Britters during one of the lowest and loneliest times of her life.
It's hardly a coincidence that Nierob is the very same publicist hired by fellow schmuck Chris Brown to fix his Rihanna sitch. Nierob, a nice enough guy, I'm not sure has been doing any favors to either client's career, since Mel's movie-star status postmeltdown is following his marriage right into the question-mark crapper.
Will it just be self-conscious turns in comedy spoofs as opposed to the blockbusters of his heyday for our Mel? What's there even to be a fan of anymore?
—Additional reporting by Becky Bain