The Awful Truth

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Not-so-shocking news: We're hearing that Carey Hart, mostly known for being Pink's on-and-off hubby, may have been secretly getting his flirt on with a poker dealer in Las Vegas, according to the boobalicious babe's buds. Oh, my. From bitchin' and fun, sexy musical groundbreaker to a...card dealer. Interesting choice, there, Carey.

It was only this past May that reunited (and never legally divorced) Pink and Hart said "everything's perfect" in their relationship and that they couldn't live without each other.

Well, it seems like Vegas-vixen Lindsey Hanson has a little something to say about that...

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It's no shock we find John Mayer to be, well, kinda gross. Thought clearly we're the minority because Mayer pulls tons of chicks.

Here's J.M. performing Down Undah in Sydney (there are too many obvious dirty entendres we'll bypass here), and instead of his usual O face, he's trying out a softer come-hither face.

Clearly Mayer is doing something right because, despite the fact friends say John wants to be single right now, Jen Aniston's ex can get his just fine.

Please, A.T. readers, fill us in on what we're missing. Is it the sensitive guitarist, rocker thing? The unconventional yet kinda sexy looks? We get the bad-boy appeal—but really, we'd do Russell Brand over Mayer, for sure.

So help us out. Are we missing the Mayercraft here? Or are you all over John, too?

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Play some Would You Rather in our Would You Do...? gallery!

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Just like all the Jennifer Garner supporters out there, we're seriously wondering how John Mayer has any fans left—any fans who know anything about the dude's personal life, that is!

We can see how somebody would be into him just 'cause of his music or maybe his looks. But the gross guy's personality seriously stands in our way of liking him at all.

Mayer was interviewed by New York Magazine's Vulture column, and he proved his douche-throb status and then some: In just a few responses, Johnny called the reporter a moron and told him to "shut your f--king mouth," referenced his penis, showed off his ego by admitting he's "really f--king good" at playing guitar and topped it off by saying he was going to "forcefully sodomize [the reporter's] editor."

What the hell is wrong with this guy?

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Is Jon Gosselin trying to mess up his life on purpose, just for a slice of fame? The douche dude's lost his wife, his dogs, his TV show and now his fiancée doesn't even really want him.

Hailey Glassman took to her Twitter to announce that she doesn't wanna marry Jon anymore, tweeting "seeing everything go on I NEVER want to get married-LOL, no joke though."

Looks like the only people who are still interested in what he's doing are Michael Lohan and the gossip-lovin' public.

We're losing our minds trying to follow all this Gosselin drama, but could Jon be on the verge of losing his kids?

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Horror upon horrors, we found a reality-show star worse than Jon Gosselin: Michael Vick.

Not only does the despicable Vick (and we mean despicable to the very core, and not just for douchey Letterman-type behavior) get reinstated into the NFL, he gets his own reality show following his return to the spotlight. 

So Mike's slapping himself on TV so people will "get to know [him] as an individual" and "change the perception" people have of him? We already know too much about how M.V. treats defenseless creatures, and the crybaby has nobody to blame but himself for his poor standing with the public.

We'd seriously rather watch Papa Gosselin and Daddy Lohan bitch about their ex-wives and bratty kids over lattes for a half hour in the too-terrible-not-to-be-televised Divorced Dads Club than watch one second of this show.

Charlie Casablanca herself barked to me: She insists that the only reality TV we'll be viewing in the Casablanca household involving Vick will be when he's pitted against other creeps like Gosselin in a people fight—and then she'd like to ask Vick how he likes being tortured to death.

Does BET really think anybody'll tune in? Even the curiosity factor of wondering just how Vick plans on digging himself out of the hole he's in isn't enough of a draw.

Why doesn't BET next air a reality docu-series about Chris Brown trying to win his fans back? We're just as likely to completely ignore that gimmick, too.

CBS

Is there some sort of Let's Defend Douchebags moment going on in H'wood? First, a bunch of otherwise-respected filmmakers and actors disgustingly go on the line to support Roman Polanski's freedom. Now it seems as though David Letterman's getting a hand-slap of a free pass for cheating on his wife with Late Show workers.

Oh, but poor David!

He was trying to be extorted for millions! And he was honest about the whole thing and apologized, on national TV no less, so that should make it A-OK, right?

Please! Letterman's nonapology for turning his female staffers into sex objects isn't good enough for all the women he's inappropriately gotten involved with over the years, and it shouldn't be for his partner of 23 years. The man's an incredibly powerful TV personality and producer, and prowling on your employees is an awfully dickish thing to do as a boss, even if it's consensual.

Hey, Kirstie Alley, we know ya love to bitch as much as we do when you see wrongdoing—you should be campaigning for the rights of women workers! They certainly need someone to support them when their own employer doesn't seem to give a crap about them. Game?

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OK—this whole Jon & Kate Plus Eight, minus Kate, now minus Jon business has us totally irked. We thought this douchebag would be way gone by now. But, like herpes, he keeps popping up all over the place in a quite annoying way.

Now Gosselin is making some bulls--t plea on Larry King saying he's had an epiphany (yeah, sure) and wants to be a better person. Oh really, is that why you're toying with your kid's emotional state by trying to stall your divorce?

We can't even keep up with the ridiculous stuff surrounding this obviously troubled guy, so let's go back to the basics, shall we?

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Is Jeremy Piven trying to single-handedly wipe out the New York theater scene?

The Piv's attack lawyers have sent a cease-and-desist letter to the producers of The Piven Monologues—a staged reading following the offstage drama that was Sushigate—insisting they "can't make defamatory statements about our client." 

Hey, Piv, it's only a half-hour staged reading in a friggin' pub. And the dialog is mostly actual quotes from the Mercury-poisoning madness (like David Mamet's priceless line about Piven becoming a "thermometer"). All of which are friggin' facts—and ones you instigated, darling.

Go beat down Mamet's door if you don't like what he said about you! You should just be happy the court found ya innocent of backing out of your Speed-the-Plow contract, since we definitely heard quite the opposite from our own theater-centric sources. 

For a comedy actor, Piven really needs to get a sense of levity, not to mention humor, stat. Shouldn't Jer be thrilled people even give an ef about him? Not only should J.P. let the show go on, he should go onstage and play himself, for heaven's sake. Own your mess, babe.

It would sure win ya back the New York crowd, and you certainly need some more fans on your side if The Goods' lackluster box office and your lack of an Emmy nod this year are any indication. 

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Can we just say we adore Jon Hamm? We hit up the Mad Men season-three premiere last night in Hollywood, and not gonna lie, it was totally to gawk at the sexy double Emmy nominee.

Jon, who was absent his girlfriend of 11 years, Jennifer Westfeldt, is a rare commodity in this supersleazy town of ours. So we had to ask if he even bothers paying attention to the scummy dudes who are literally giving "Jon" a bad name. Like Jon Gosselin, for instance.

While Hamm was busy working to promote his classy show, Gosselin  was apparently having a sleepover with his kids' babysitter! So, nice guy that he is, J.H. offered up some tasteful dating advice to newly single J.G.:

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What do Rihanna and Robin Wright Penn have in common? Their mouths. Both talented women keep their traps shut way too much, I say. Way.

Sean Penn, and take it from me 'cause I hear the sleazy juice on this dude regularly, has been one of the worst Hollywood husbands in recent times. And in an age of Alec Baldwin, Mel Gibson and Eddie Murphy, this is saying quite a lot.

Yet, here we have Mrs. Penn with the opportunity to reunite with her divorcing, sparring spouse yet again! How many chances does this woman need to figure out her hubby's just not that into her, ultimately? Will Robin pathetically, sadly, predictably take him back one more time? Let's pray not.

Just like I'm sayin' a prayer right now for Rihanna. Can't she ditch the silly playtime girlie thing (if only for a sec, mind you, girlfriend more than deserves to get her kinky fun on) and finally speak out against or call out the schmuck who her hurt her so badly? It's what all of us are thinking every time we look at her healed face. Name the freak for exactly what he did and be done with it—and him.

But then, these are Rihanna's and Robin's lives to lead, not mine. It's just painful to watch, that's all.

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We know Miss Cali is an utter hypocrite, but did she learn her contradictory behavior from Donald Trump, who totally picks and chooses how he gives his second chances? Why does Carrie Prejean get to keep her tiara on top of her swelled ego while Miss Nevada 2007, Katie Rees, was stripped of her title back in 2006?

Both beauty princesses were seen in all sorts of seminudity, so what's the big diff? Was it because Miss Nevada was kissing a girl in one of the leaked photos?

Sure, a bimbo-lovin' dude like the Donald, whose own ethics are so questionable it's laughable he'd be considered a moral authority figure, would sure love that type of sultry behavior—but not from one of his precious Miss USA gals. God forbid any lesbianism taint his perfectly primped role models, right?

What's Trump's take on the whole gay marriage debate, anyway?

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Not only is Mel Gibson, estranged husband to wife Robyn Gibson, shacking up with a younger model while he's still married, now she's possibly pregnant! How much more marital discord does Gibson plan on putting Robyn through?

His never-ending work, his alcoholism, his arrest viewed worldwide—those just combine to form the tip of the meltdown iceberg. We did our own digging with Gibson's rep regarding the procreation news, and he offered an all-too-telling response:

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