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Can We Blame Gosselin Mania on the Recession?

Kate Gosselin INFphoto.com

What's with the obsession over people who aren't stars, like Kate Gosselin? Is it a recession thing?
—Kaybe, via the Answer B!tch inbox

The fixation on Kate Gosselin's bank balance could be some sort of symptom of hobo times, especially when combined with breathless accounts of—Miley Cyrus! Leaving Twitter! Like, forevvvvvs! And now look—up in the sky, but not really—it's Balloon Boy!

Meanwhile, coverage of more traditionally glamorous stars like Brad Pitt or Beyoncé actually seems to be dwindling.

But does our taste in gossip really reflect our jobless rate? Well, consider this...

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What Is Jon Gosselin Really Up To?

Jon Gosselin Amber Matsumoto/LA Dodgers

Why is Jon Gosselin acting like such a jerk, shutting down his own show and saying such horrible things about the mother of his children?
—PDen, Ocala, FL, via the Answer B!tch inbox

Well, let's put it this way. What's the one thing Jon Gosselin really needs right now? I mean, besides a shirt that doesn't come from Ed Hardy? I mean, besides a shirt that doesn't come from Ed Hardy and a treadmill?

Here's a hint. It ain't just about money, folks...

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How Many Dollars Do the Duggars' 18-Plus Draw?

The Duggars: 18 and Counting TLC

How much do the Duggars get for their reality show? For me, the show is like an accident—you just have to look.
—Nicole_Tafoya, via Twitter

An "accident"? How cruel! Children are a gift from God! Right now, those 18 kids—soon to be 19—are blessing the planet with an estimated 1.7 million metric tons of carbon dioxide as an environmental legacy! And just in case you need help with your science homework, every one of those little angels stands ready to explain how evolution is a lie. You're just mean.

As for how much the Duggars are making off TLC network via their show, 18 Kids and Counting, well, hold on to your Bibles...

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Does Anyone Want to Hire Jon Gosselin?

Jon Gosselin INFphoto.com

Why was Jon Gosselin selling lemonade? Is he that desperate for sympathy—or cash?
—Shennellc, via the Answer B!tch inbox

Actually, Gosselin and his kids were selling lemonade for charity, at a local Pennsylvania fire department. Photogs and reporters caught him out there a few days ago while he was filming a new episode of his reality show.

The firefighters might be the only fans Gosselin has left, though, if what everybody is telling me is any indication...

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Are There Any More Psycho-Killers on Reality TV?

Jasmine Fiore, Ryan Jenkins Ethan Miller/Getty Images; VH1

What kind of background check do they do on the reality-star wannabes? How could VH1 allow a wife beater on a dating show? Will the industry survive?
—Robyn in Santa Monica

You speak of Ryan Jenkins, the young man who was wanted in the murder of ex-wife Jasmine Fiore earlier this month. He has since been found dead of an apparent suicide. Jenkins was all set to appear on not one but two VH1 reality shows, Megan Wants a Millionaire and I Love Money 3.

Now, Jenkins had a criminal past—including a Canadian assault conviction and a domestic violence arrest in Vegas—but those never showed up on his background check.

How can this be? Well, you might want to read this before applying to appear on a reality show with strange men...

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Why Do Reality Stars Hang Out in Malibu So Much?

AnnaLynne McCord, Rachel McCord Courtesy: Polk Imaging

What the hell is the Sierra Mist Beach House, and why do so many reality-TV people seem to live there?
—Chris, Los Angeles

Let me be plain: Every year middling celebrities like Lindsay Lohan, AnnaLynne McCord, Audrina Patridge and Jamie Kennedy show up at pop-up beach parties in Malibu. Big corporations or brands such as Polaroid, Sierra Mist or Boost Mobile shell out five-figure sums to rent private homes on the beach, fill them up with free booze, food and stuff, and then wait for the invitees to come and take it all.

The rest of us stay outside. It's, you know, marketing...

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Why Do People Keep Giving Diddy TV Shows?

Sean "Diddy" Combs ANG/Fame Pictures

Diddy just got another show? Why does he still have a job, much less a show? Can I have a show?
—K.K.

Yep. Another show. This one about the making of his new backup band. Sean "Diddy" Combs, that zombie of the hip-hop lifestyle, continues to shamble along despite a noticeable lack of presence on the music charts. Oh wait. Totally forgot. He just cut that totally not-opportunistic single about Michael Jackson. Forget I said anything.

So why would Diddy still have a TV career? You'll be shocked...

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Do Reality TV Contestants Have to Quit Their Jobs?

Jillian Harris, Sasha, The Bachelorette ABC/Adam Larkey

I watched Ed depart from The Bachelorette, and it got me thinking: What do reality contestants do about work? If I told my boss I needed 12 weeks off to shoot a secret reality show, it wouldn't go over well.
—Katie P., via the Answer B!tch inbox

As sad as it sounds, some people consider appearing on the teevee a once-in-a-lifetime dream, an opportunity not to be missed, no matter what the cost. And that includes the ability to pay rent. Some reality-show contestants have said they took unpaid leave or vacation time to appear on a reality show.

Contestants who can't get a break from their bosses have been known to simply quit.

Sometimes the fallout extends to the bosses of the people who compete. Take the case of the boss who got fired for letting an employee appear on The Bachelor:

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How Would Child Support Work for Jon & Kate's
Plus 8?

Us Weekly, Jon, Kate, Affair Us Weekly

Some time ago, the Answer Bitch answered the big question that might be on your mind right now, given today's news...

If Jon and Kate get a divorce, how would child support work for eight kids?
—Holly, Salt Lake City

If you're asking whether a parent can get a discount of eight for the price of six, the answer is, technically, yeah.

First things first, though. For the record, Jon Gosselin has denied he had an affair—despite rather explicit evidence related in Us Weekly—and wife Kate appeared on the Today show to declare that she's "very hesitant to believe" that her man has cheated.

"We're doing our best and learning how to go," she said.

If the two "stars" of Jon & Kate Plus 8 decide that the best way to go is a divorce, then child support for eight kids growing up on basic cable gets really interesting.

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Good Help: Isn't it Jon & Kate Plus About 50 Maids?

Jon Gosselin, Kate Gosselin, Jon and Kate Plus 8 Karen Alquist/TLC

Please dish on the Gosselin household—number and titles of employees? Live-in or not? Just a few burning questions from this wildly jealous mom of six.
—Maeve

I know, right? SO many reasons to be jealous of Kate Gosselin. The Flock of Seagulls haircut. The abs that are literally the size and shape of a washboard. That winner of a husband and his supposed adorable girlfriend to boot.

In the interest of fairness, I did reach out to the TLC people to ask for an official "helper" head count. (Kate calls all of her people "helpers.") No word back, possibly because the network is scrambling to dash off its no-comments on the Gosselins' upcoming mystery announcement. Nonetheless, I was able to find out some facts, thanks to a source familiar with family dynamics...

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When Reality TV Attacks: Can Celebs Like Speidi Sue?

Heidi Montag NBC

Can Heidi sue the producers of I'm a Celebrity for all she's been through?
—SpiediLuv, N.C.

All she's been through? You mean like not being able to see what kind of shampoo she's using out in the jungle? Nooky deprivation? Honey, please. Even if Heidi Pratt had suffered a full-on nervous breakdown after seeing that a mysterious personage had removed her shampoo label, show producers probably would have no obligation to pay the bills.

"Reality show talent agreements are very extensive and the participants are very clear of the producers' expectations," says Tracey Baker-Simmons, a producer of the reality show Being Bobby Brown and the current BET show Welcome to Dreamland. "Most agreements are created to protect the producer from lawsuits and any other liabilities. Of course, if anything was to physically happen to the person, the producers would immediately provide medical attention, but they are legally covered against any liabilities."

OK, fine. But what if Heidi contracted some sort of horrible parasite (other than her husband)? Or what if she actually died during the course of filming? You may not believe this...

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Why Do Reality Shows Dwell on Total Nonevents?

Jon Gosselin, Kate Gosselin INFdaily.com

Why are reality shows so scripted around nonevents? Do we really need to see Jon and Kate's kids' birthday party? Is that interesting?
—Crie, Hoboken, NJ

To the millions of mommy-fetishists who watch that show, of course it is. Jon and Kate Gosselin viewers identify with the eight kids, sympathize with them. Plenty of fans even think they're somehow friends of the Gosselin clan—swooping onto the Intertubes on pixelated steeds, poised to defend every Gosselin, big or small, just in case, you know, Kate might be watching and want to invite them over.

What's far more interesting is exactly how those birthday scenes—every reality show shot, really—gets selected for filming by crafty producers.

Whether it's a crazy naked pool scene on Top Model or a little person visiting a trainer, each shot is far more calculated than even die-hard viewers may think...

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