At this point, there's almost nothing we don't already know about Jon and Kate Gosselin.

He likes Ed Hardy, ticking every box off the midlife crisis checklist and demanding privacy from the paparazzi, unless of course they want to patronize his lemonade stand or capture him bringing flowers to his ex-wife. His dislikes include spell-check and Nancy Grace.

She, on the other hand, enjoys employing ghost writers to pen cookbooks on organic food, berating her personality-challenged husband and recouping hundreds of thousands of dollars that were rightfully hers to begin with. She's not such a fan of anything less than industrial-strength pomade.

This much we know.

But TLC is reminding us of a few other Gosselin truths that have gotten lost along the way in the torn-apart family's reality swan song, as Jon & Kate Plus 8 comes to its confessional- and montage-filled series end tonight.

Like, no matter how heinous you think their parents are—and at this point it is just a matter of degrees—those Gosselin Plus 8 are downright adorable (and, lest we forget, the reason viewers flocked in the first place).

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A.J. Jewell's death may have been an accident, but it was a preventable one.

The death of the former fiancé of Real Housewives of Atlanta's Kandi Burruss has been declared a homicide by Georgia's Fulton County medical examiner's office, which confirmed earlier speculation that the street fight Jewell got into on the night of his death was exacerbated by his sickle-cell anemia.

"Although Mr. Jewell died of complications of his underlying natural disease conditions, the complications would not have occurred if he had not experienced the extreme exertion that was part of the physical altercation," stated the report, obtained by the Atlanta Journal Constitution.

"Due to the active involvement of another person, the manner of death is classified as a homicide."

But if you think the report brought any sense of closure to Jewell's still-grieving family, well, think again.

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Watch out, vamps! The Vikings are comin' through!

Sound like a cheerleader's battle cry? That's because it is.

New Moon star Dakota Fanning has returned to her typical teenager life at North Hollywood's Campbell Hall Episcopal High School, where she does her own impressive stunt work as a cheerleader for the home team, pom-poms and all.

And, not unlike her dominance over young Hollywood, the 15-year-old totally rules the school. Seriously, who needs an Oscar when you've already been named homecoming princess?! The flowers are the same and a tiara totally trumps a statuette because you can wear it as a badge of honor!

Plus, we're guessing Miss Fanning got to a take a twirl around the dance floor Friday night with lucky number 47. Not too shabby!

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Dakota looks scary serious in New Moon Rising. 18 days!

INFphoto.com

Well, well, well. Looks like you can teach old, press-hungry, reality-has-been, selfunaware, partner-hopping dogs new tricks.

Or at least teach them to hire a better spin doctor.

In an exclusive statement to E! News, Jon Gosselin has apologized for, well, everything he's put the media-watching public through over the past few months. And that includes new promises to Kate Gosselin and their plus 8.

His epiphany came after bogus reports surfaced yesterday linking him to a reality project with the other Octomom.

"I am troubled to learn that the media has accepted as true the scurrilous rumor that I would appear in a reality television program with Nadya Suleman. This is utterly false. I do however accept that some of my previous actions have in some way lent credence to such outrageous stories."

He continues: "I am well aware that my behavior over the past few months has not always reflected my personal and religious values.

"I further accept that I have allowed myself to become somewhat severed from my own moral anchor and be carried away by the challenges of fame. It is for this reason that I have endeavored of late to reconnect with my deeper, more spiritual, more altruistic self with regular study sessions and counseling."

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That sound you hear is the nation's TiVos spontaneously powering down in protest.

Earlier this month, Octomom Nadya Suleman activated gag reflexes everywhere by revealing she had a crush on Jon Gosselin, going so far as to dub him "hot." Earlier this morning, In Touch Weekly took that cry for help revelation and ran with it, claiming that the publicity-hungry, parentally challenged duo would be coupling up in a new reality dating show.

And while we can only pray the report didn't give them any ideas, it also (for now) is not true...depending on who you ask.

The supermarket staple quoted the oddly credible former producer of Cheaters, who claimed that the show would follow Gosselin contemplating not only "what hooking up with Octomom could really be like," but what their home life might be like if their respective 14- and 8-strong broods fused, like the Brady Bunch on steroids.

"I heard that Nadya has an insatiable desire to spend time with Jon and to put their families together," producer Bobby Goldstein told the tabloid. "And I had the idea that this could be a very entertaining fiasco." (Apparently Goldstein never heard of one Hailey Glassman.)

It may be Halloween week, but no one deserves this type of scare. Luckily, Gosselin's manager has stepped in to put a lid on the madness, debunking the report and once again restoring order to the television universe.

"This is the first I've even heard of it," he said. "This isn't happening."

Not that it wasn't at one point in the works, with a rep for the would-be trainwreck boasting of email records to prove it.

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UPDATE: Phew! Falcon Heene was found alive and well hiding in a box in the attic of his garage, fearing he would be in trouble.

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For about two hours today, we were riveted to our TVs, following the fate of the boy in the balloon. While it turns out the child was not in the Jiffy Pop-esque craft, the drama for his parents continues as they search for their missing son.

And it's not the clan's first time in the spotlight.

Mayumi and Richard Heene and their three sons appeared last year on ABC's Wife Swap. Their network bio says the Colorado-based Heenes "live life on the edge. Wife Mayumi and storm scientist Richard take their three kids, Bradford, Ryo and Falcon, out of school to go on storm-chasing missions to prove Richard's theories about magnetic fields and gravity." Richard also maintains a site dedicated to his storm-chasing activities.

It is youngest son Falcon, 6, who was feared to be in the wayward balloon and who is now the subject of a massive search.

Needless to say, the celebrity Twitterverse filled with reactions and prayers.

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AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill, Pool

Forget the Gosselin 8. Could we be getting the Jackson 3?

Earlier today, Us Weekly claimed that Michael Jackson's family was at odds over whether his trio of kids, Prince Michael, Paris and Blanket, should be included in The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty, the reality show in the works for A&E and tentatively set to air in December.

Thankfully, a rep for the network now tells E! News that the kids "are not part of the show."

That statement directly contradicts the Us report, which quotes an unnamed source saying that Michael's eldest sister, Rebbie, is opposed to having his 12-, 11- and 7-year-old going Gosselin. We're not sure of the math, but the magazine does cite the show's executive producer, Jodi Gomes, as saying that they "have 23 castmembers with the last name Jackson"—supposedly including Janet Jackson and family matriarch Katherine.

"They've done a great job opening up about losing a brother," Gomes says.

UPDATE: In a new statement to E! News, an A&E spokesman seemed to allow for the possibility of the kids to be seen, if the family OKs it (and that remains a big "if")...

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