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Why Won't Sarah Palin Go Away?
AP Photo/J. Scott Applewhite
Sarah Palin: Why won't she just go the hell away?
—JYLynn, via Twitter
Her lingering corpse does seem odd, given she was slaughtered during the election, then drawn and quartered by the media after she left gubernatorial office—midway through her term—in Alaska.
At this point, Sarah Palin's just another celebrity shilling a book, right? So why does she seem like so much more? Well...
Is Posing Nude Ever a Good Idea for Famous Guys?
Playgirl Magazine, Jesse Grant/Getty Images
What could Levi Johnston possibly gain by posing naked for Playgirl?
—Babs G., via the Answer B!tch inbox
You mean besides money and the eternal high that comes with making Sarah Palin miserable? As the Jews might say, dayenu, that would have been enough.
For women, there are tons of reasons for posing nude: Sharon Stone said she did it for money right after appearing in Total Recall. It sure didn't hurt, given that she later went on to do stuff like Basic Instinct and Casino. We won't even begin to discuss the ongoing successes of The Girls Next Door.
But when it comes to guys who pose in adult mags, there are, generally, only two types: (1) Unknowns who, if the ploy works, graduate to sort-of knowns, and (2) bona fide celebrities who stir up noncontroversies by posing only partly in the buff.
That latter category includes a major country star married to an A-list actress, and a former teen star who has been linked to Megan Fox...
Can Obamas or Cruises See Any Movie, Any Time?
Jonathan Wenk/Sony Pictures Entertainment, AP Photo/Charles Dharapak
Since when can Bill Clinton just call up a studio and order a copy of a movie that's still in theaters? Somebody needs to tell him he isn't president anymore.
—Pala
Correct. He is not. Bill Clinton does, however, still wield legendary Gonads of Diplomacy, which freed two imprisoned journalists from North Korea—and which, apparently, enjoy chick flicks like The Ugly Truth. Ditto with first lady Michelle Obama, who arranged a private screening of Julie & Julia at the White House—one month before it opened.
Now, this is not a case of somebody sending over a DVD movie screener. We're in much too high a stratosphere for that. If you're powerful enough, you enjoy only big-screen movies, messengered to your home, direct from the source, in a kind of elite library system for the rich and famous...
Wait, Didn't Miss California Swear Off Politics?
AP Photo/Eric Jamison
Didn't you just report that Carrie Prejean didn't want to be political? Then why did she go to D.C. to fight gay marriage?
—Tanya, Schaumberg, Ill.
Now, now. I quoted Carrie's camp as saying Miss California didn't want to become a poster child for, you know, Opposite Marriage. And despite her flight to D.C. to meet with the National Organization for Marriage and her starring role in a new anti-gay-marriage commercial, she's sticking to her earlier statements:
"She's not acting as a rep or spokeswoman," her spokeswoman tells me. "She didn't do any new footage for the commercial, it's a clip from her Miss USA appearance."
You buy it? You tell me. Meantime, onward with your Burnin' Q's...
How much are the Olsen twins worth?
—Terbie, via Twitter
Is Miss California the New Joe the Plumber?
AP Photo/Eric Jamison
Now that Miss California has spoken out against gay marriage, is she the next Joe the Plumber or what?
—Heather, Butte, Mont.
If you're asking whether anti-gay-marriage groups have wrapped their Jesus-lovin' arms around Carrie Prejean's perfectly tanned spine, the answer is: They certainly are trying.
"She's gotten several requests to speak from statewide pro-marriage-and-family groups," her (brand-spankin' new) spokeswoman just told me.
Uppity-ups in the Republican party also tell me Prejean definitely will be approached by some arm of theirs, though whether she'll be game is another story. She may be too busy suing Donald Trump or (possibly) dating Michael Phelps to participate...
Who's the Most Underrated Teen Star?
INFDaily.com
Can you list the most underrated teen stars of this century, like maybe Leighton Meester, or, uh, Brenda Song?
—F.S.G.
If I say Leighton Meester, will you stop sending me questions about Brenda Song? Please? Do we have a deal? Meantime, forget Miley Cyrus. Rent season four of The Wire and check out Jermaine Crawford, now 16, and the ridiculously hot, cradle-robbery-worthy Tristan Wilds, 19, who's currently being wasted on the revamped 90210.
I am a huge Jonas Brothers fan, and I was wondering if either Joe or Kevin voted? If so, who did they vote for? I'm hoping that if they did vote that they voted for John McCain.
—Bethany
Do Celebs Vote at the Polls With the Rest of Us?
Eric Charbonneau/WireImage.com
How do big actors manage to put their money where their mouth is and get out and vote? Will I see them at the local community center, standing in line?
—Kyra, Santa Monica
Well, in case you're wondering exactly how Pitbull will be casting his ballot for Barack Obama, live in darkness no longer. If he can, he tells me, the rapper will go to the polls in Miami, and in person.
"I might have to vote by mail due to my schedule," he told me Friday, "but I prefer to vote in person, so people will understand and see how much I respect the power of voting."
Also, prison-bound rapper T.I. cast an in-person ballot last week in Georgia. But what about your favorite sanctimonious A-listers? How do they cast their votes? Turns out they have their own way of remaining enfranchised...
Did Avril Lavigne Really Lose Her Hand?
AP Photo
I heard some news that Avril Lavigne lost her hand. Is it true? I hope not.
—HF
If so, she's found it. She has two hands now.
A female punk drummer did lose her hand recently; maybe that's who you're thinking about?
What's the math on movies—why do they cost so much to make? Thanks for your bitchin' answers, Bitch!
—Loren, Chicago
The biggest elements of a film budget are (a) people, like cast, director and producers, (b) special effects and (c) "below the line" costs, like locations, crew and equipment. In the case of, say, Spider-Man 2, here's how a $200 million budget broke down:
Why Don't Whiny Rock Stars Just Sue John McCain?
STAN HONDA/AFP/Getty Images
If I hear one more band complain about the Republicans using their songs in the presidential campaign, I'll scream. Why don't these singers just shut up and sue?
—Sue
Because they can't. Survivor, Heart, Bon Jovi, Van Halen, John Mellencamp—all have had their songs played at John McCain rallies without their personal approval. But according to lawyers I've talked to, those artists have little to no recourse, except to hire publicists to issue huffy statements.
If they were smart, they'd squeeze themselves back into their strategically ripped acid-wash jeans and take it to the streets: Oh, the Indignity '08 tour. I would totally pay for that T-shirt.
The reason they can't go to court? Well...
A-List Secrets: Why Gossip Mags Are Nuts for Palin
US Weekly
Why am I seeing Sarah Palin on the covers of my gossip magazines?
—Gia, New York
What part of "former beauty queen who has a pregnant, unmarried 17-year-old and could maybe possibly have serious secrets" don't you understand? The Sarah Palin story makes the Jolie-Pitt-Aniston dustup of a few years back look like a Mary Kay convention in comparison. And besides, in the gossip department, entertainers have very little to recommend themselves these days. We have...let's see: first photos of Halle Berry's baby looking like a baby, David Duchovny addicted to sex, and Heidi Montag doing stuff.
People would rather read about Palin in their Us Weekly. Here's why:
Burning Q's: A-List Dems & Olympic No-Shows
James Devaney/WireImage.com
Why are most stars Democrats? You would think as high wage earners, they would be Republicans.
—Dawn
Remember: Top-paid actors are also members of a massive union—the Screen Actors Guild. Unions traditionally see themselves as underdogs against a more powerful class, in this case, studio heads, film financiers and other producers. Stars know that they wouldn't get half the perks they enjoy—rest periods, minimum pay—without their union.
So their pay may give them something in common with the Bush family, but their culture does not. Unless you count Heidi and Spencer; they're Republicans.
You see celebs attending all kinds of sporting events. So have any celebs been to the Olympic Games this year?
—Becky
M.I.A.: "Paper Planes" on a Tear, but Terror?
Kevin Mazur/Getty Images
I really like that M.I.A. single "Paper Planes." But I hear she supports terror. Is that true? Is she a terrorist?
—Mela, Los Angeles
Don't bother trying to catch M.I.A. at the border. Haven't you seen the Pineapple Express trailer? She's got papers in her name!
For the record, M.I.A., also known as Mathangi "Maya" Arulpragasam, is a Sri Lankan ethnic Tamil who spent much of her childhood in England. Her father is credited as a cofounder of a militant pro-Tamil group EROS, which, in turn, was once linked to the Tamil Tigers. The Tigers have been labeled a terrorist group by many countries, including the United States.
In a 2005 interview, M.I.A. was adamant that she doesn't support terror:
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