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What Does Lady Gaga's Bizarre "Bad Romance" Video Mean, Anyway?
Interscope
Lady Gaga's video for "Bad Romance" is either astonishingly brilliant or horrifyingly, beyond-belief stupid. What do you think? Guide your lemmings, Answer Bitch!
—Liz, via Facebook
I think we need to understand what Gaga is trying to tell us other than walk, walk, fashion, baby. And to do that we need to analyze the images we're seeing, and boy are there a lot of 'em.
So what are we working with here? The video includes images of a hairless cat, a guy in an S&M roman gladiator chin strap, an alternate Gaga with anime eyes in a bathtub, and diamonds floating in space. And oh: She's crying, and dancing, but not at the same time.
She wears righteous sunglasses.
There is an actual story to the video, and we'll go over it through the wise, mystical prism of dream analysis! Let us begin...
Do Movie Star Dogs Get Paid?
Barry Wetcher/ Fox
I just watched Beverly Hills Chihuahua and I wonder if these dog "actors" get paid? They sure make lots and lots of cash for Disney.
—Jefry, Indonesia
Let's put it this way: Those puppies in the upcoming Marley & Me don't make nearly so much as Jennifer Aniston, even if some of them are much cuter.
The average pay for an "animal actor" is a few hundred a day; a feature film could earn a pooch into the tens of thousands. As for who exactly gets the money, the animal's owner and the pet's talent agency each take a cut. But caring for Hollywood dogs costs a bundle, and oftentimes, I'm told, the venture turns out to be a wash. Or a doggy bath.
Where can you send the Jonas Brothers fan mail?
—Anon
How Many Designer Dogs Does Paris Hilton Have?
Dan Herrick/ZUMAPress.com
Every day I see paparazzi photos of Paris Hilton with a new pooch stuffed into her Chanel purse. How many dogs has she accumulated?
—Hannah
As of earlier this year, she faced legal trouble for having an estimated 17 dogs. But when it comes to celebrity addictions, Paris could do a lot worse than getting hooked on cute puppies. Onward now, with more of today's Burning Q's!
Does Brenda Song sing?
—Kristen
A-List Secrets: Hollywood's (Unlikely) Hot Dog
PR/RS/Flynetpictures.com
Do tell us what's the current must-have Hollywood pet? Puggles seem to be way over. Tiny totable dogs seem to have gone the way of last season's purse. What animal weirdness will be next on the scene?
—Libbye, Kentucky
Hollywood's dog o' the moment is an unexpected breed, one that has famous owners ranging from Samantha Ronson to Adam Sandler to John Legend. That dog is the English bulldog, he of the blunt nose and invisible neck and solid legs. To a lesser extent, stars also have fallen in love with the French bulldog, I am told, but really, right now, it's all about the English.
Sound exciting? You too can have one of these trendy canines, which come complete with frequent breathing problems and the occasional snoring habit. And all for the A-list price tag of...
Jessica Simpson Shops With a Dog—but You Can't
Why are celebs allowed to bring their little dogs everywhere and normal people aren't? I just saw a picture of Jessica Simpson with her dog at Ralphs!
—F.S.
Well, if I told you that Jessica Simpson's Maltipoo was the world's smallest, curliest Seeing Eye dog, would you believe me? No? God, you're jaded.
"We allow only Seeing Eye dogs in our stores," Ralphs spokesman Terry O'Neill told this B!tch. "Otherwise, no dogs. It's a [city] health department issue."
So. There you have it. Daisy must be a Seeing Eye dog! A very decorative Seeing Eye dog. That happens to fit inside a Louis Vuitton carryall bag. And on that Vuitton bag is a tag with the words "Daisy, the Seeing Eye dog." That tag is invisible to all but C-list has-been reality stars, but it's there, all right.
Still not satisfied? Read an alternative explanation after the jump.
Burning Q's: Stylist-Free Zone & Lies About Lindsay
Angela Coqueran/INFPhoto.com
Why do the papers write false stories in the tabloids about the stars like Denise Richards and Lindsay Lohan? Don't they know that it ruins their careers as well hurts their familes? The tabloids should print positive things about the stars.
—Steve
Just for you: Paris Hilton and not one, but three, puppies.
Do famous singers still have vocal coaches to help out with their singing while performing and recording tracks for albums?
—Millie, New Jersey
Is Paris Really Doing a Dog Care Show? Really?
Angela Coqueran/INFPhoto.com
—Barrie, Wilkes-Barre, Pa.
And her cat, yes. But troubles may not be the best word. The Middle East has had troubles. Paris' pets have had experiences—if reports are true—that fall somewhere between Lord of the Flies and Guantanamo Bay.
First, the reports you mention. Bunches of tabloids are reporting that Paris Hilton has scored a deal with Britain's Living TV network to follow the heiress as she manages a pet grooming salon on Bond Street. However, when I contacted the network, they seemed as bewildered as a flock of underfed Chihuahuas.
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