The Awful Truth

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We bet Pete Wentz and Jessica Biel are two big fans of Mad Men (and who isn't nowadays!). Evidence? The two fashion victims took a retro turn for the better while at a Live Earth event in New York City. We can't believe our eyes at how bright, shiny 'n' new both of 'em look in their snazzy officewear.

It's refreshing to see Pete out of a hoodie for once and lookin' dapper in a perfectly tailored suit. And we always knew Wentzy was a heartbreaking hunk under that emo swoop hairdo he's been sporting since forever, getting that black fringe out of his face and opting for a buzz cut. Dude can finally show off the chiseled Clark Kent-Don Draper Jr. thing he's got goin' on.

And Jessica usually prefers sweat suits and a grim frown when she goes out, but the '60s-inspired gray secretary—sorry, we mean administrative assistant—duds are seriously smokin'. Not to mention that smile.

New life, new wardrobe, perhaps? Maybe a Justinless Jess is for the best.

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Peep and rate more style perps in our Fashion Police gallery!

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"I don't care if you're 100 yards away taking a picture of my family. That doesn't really bother me. But if you are in my face and it's dangerous, it's like, do you really want someone doing that to your 3-month-old?"

—Typically press-happy Pete Wentz, bitching that the media should be more respectful of the kids of public figures. Gotta agree with Wentzy on this one, no joke

OK, let's just focus on the positive with this clip of Ashlee and Pete Wentz guesting on CSI: NY: We like Ash's dark-red 'do!

And thank the boob-tube gods they're only filming one episode of this crime drama and not five seasons of their own reality show. But didn't Ash learn a damn thing from her older sis and her failed relaysh? Newlyweds who appear on TV together file divorce papers together. Duh.

'Course, if still-single Jessica leaves Tony Romo at home and wants to give reality TV another whirl, we'd love to see her on Dancing With the Stars, since contestants are falling off the show left 'n' right. (We were gonna say The Biggest Loser, but we're just not that bitchy. Are we?)

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"To be honest with you, I hate it when people delve so much into my personal life that I try not to delve into other people's."

—Pete Wentz tells us, just a few days before his über-uncomfortably candid Howard Stern interview, dishing on all things Ashlee. Between your voluntary bedroom confessions and your 10,000 blogs, Petey, you make it so easy to do just that

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"I tell them, we beat the Nazis, they don't get to tell me what to do. We beat fascism."

—So says rocker, fashion designer and newly inspired artiste Pete Wentz, bitching to us about people who think musicians should just shut up and play music only. Petey went on, claiming most people's opinion of him doesn't bother him much: "Outside of Louis Vuitton and a couple other alligators, I have the thickest skin around." Gotta love a brave guy who isn't afraid to often blog his mind

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"I hate to be a liar, but at the same time, I kind of love to be a liar."

—Pete Wentz, master of surprises. No wonder you kept denying that Ashlee was pregnant while Ash herself remained oh-so coy on the matter for so long

We caught a spectacular view, dolls, of Hell-Ay from atop the brand-spankin'-new London hotel on the Sunset Strip, where Pete Wentz was deejaying a special MTV and Sunkist event.

P.W. strolled up to the rooftop pool party sans his new Simpson-Wentz wife-unit. Is Ash finally too pregs to party? Maybe she's learning some lessons from pal Nicole Richie on seriously settling down and nixing any nightlife. (Until your kid's old enough to watch itself, 'course, what is that nowadays, 6 months old?)

A handful of Fall Out Boy followers managed to finagle their way into the fete, and the eyelined babes snapped photos of the bassist, perched up on a balcony so no one could get an inch near him, all through his set. Didn't seem like Petey-pie had too many other fans in the place, since nobody was dancing to what the DJ was playin'.

Not one of the Kardashian sistahs there even boogied down. Instead Kim, Khloe and Kourtney spent most of the soiree holed up in the VIP section, unsurprisingly. In fact, more people were waiting in line to play Rock Band than the event organizers had set up for.

We dug the dude mixing hip-hop with '80s pop, like combining Jay-Z's "99 Problems" with Nena's "99 Luftballoons," but other party people were much harder to please. "He should have gotten here earlier," said one pissed P-fan. "He's playing the same songs the first DJ already played!"

Way to unwork the crowd, Wentzy. We know you've got blogging down to an art form, how about working on punctuality next? You getting Simpson-ized there, sweets?