The Awful Truth

ABC photo / Randy Holmes

We've got tons of dish for you from the entire New Moon cast and premiere, but let's get to the really good stuff first—Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.

The two didn't snap pics together on the carpet, and no one could ask the two stars for any personal bites on each other. But we were able to squeeze some cuteness out of Rob.

Producer Bill Bannerman, by the by, told us Kristen was the Julia Child of the cast. So does Rob like her home cookin', too? And how did the two spend their day off in Madrid?

We've got all this, plus piles o' dish from the afterparty, so you'll def want to read on:

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John Shearer/Getty Images; Steve Granitz/Getty Images; Todd Williamson/Getty Images

Leslie: "Jason."
Judd: "None of them. They'll all be married within three years."
Leslie: "Really?"

—Hubby and wife Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann, when we asked them at the Fulfillment Stars Benefit Gala which of their three funny amigos, Jason Segal, Jonah Hill or Seth Rogan, is going to be a perpetual bachelor like our boy George Clooney.

From things we've been hearing behind closed doors, we're siding with Leslie.

Not only do we trust a gal's opinion on this kinda Q, but Segal is hardly acting like he wants to get serious anytime soon, trust. 

_______

Pay homage to the bachelor king, check out The Women of George Clooney.

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While most celeb couples' behavior totally makes us gag, some famous duos are always total class acts. We dished with the King of Bromance Judd Apatow and his wife, Leslie Mann, who were honored at the Stars 2009 Benefit Gala at the Beverly Hills Hotel for their work with the Fulfillment Fund, a nonprofit helping disadvantaged students to finish school.

A talented, do-gooding couple with a great relaysh and supercute kids? Makes us wonder where we've seen that same type before...

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We totally adore Anna Paquin. As you know, we're True Blood-obsessed here at the A.T., so we couldn't have been more stoked that Anna and her costar fiancé, Stephen Moyer, truly didn't disappoint in person, either.

E! News caught up with Anna at the Nylon party last night, and she reminded us that there are some celebs out there who haven't completely lost touch with reality. A.P. dished how her critics are way too uptight about all the True Blood nudity—and we couldn't agree more!

"I just don't see what the big deal is about showing people as they actually are," piped Anna. "If they're having sex, I mean, they're naked! On my planet they are anyway."

It probably doesn't hurt that the guy she has to strip down with on TV is the same fella she gets to see between the sheets in real life, too. And must say, Anna and Stephen seem like one of the more functioning couples in this town:

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It actually seems like Jen's slowly making progress in picking herself back up...

We've been telling you again and again and again how Jen Aniston really needs to raise her standards with both her movies and her men before it's too late and all the good ones go to fresher, perkier stars. But now Jen's actually listening! Jenny received the top honor of the night at the Women in Film 2009 Crystal and Lucy Awards, pretty ironic since that's where she chose to finally admit how truly awful her taste in flicks (and fellas) has been the last few years. Took long enough. Ani's self-deprecating acceptance speech, which included her looking for a project called Everlasting Love With an Adult Stable Male, was hilarious, and more importantly, dead-on. The first step is admitting you have a problem, babe, right?

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Who gives an ef about winning a singing competition? Adam Lambert's just happy he can finally party at all the best H'wood hot spots. "I was living on Melrose and Wilcox in a studio apartment six months ago just hoping I could get into Teddy's," the American Idol runner-up said last night, accepting the Artist of the Year award at the Young Hollywood Awards in Santa Monica. "Now I can!"

Ad couldn't even wait to get his freak on at the afterbash, ending his thank-you speech insisting that somebody "buy me a drink!"

Before slurping back any martinis, Lambert exclusively dished to us about the Clay Aiken feud, dealing with the ever-present paps and what he calls "the queen rumors—both kinds!"

That would be fronting the legendary rock band, kiddos, as well as those damn inquiries about his sexual persuasion everybody's been demanding he answer (including us!).

Do sass on for more Glambert-goss:

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The top 13 American Idol contestants are still owned by Fox, practically, but at least now that the show's over, the baker's dozen can relax and let their guard down, even if just a li'l bit. And it totally showed at last night's postfinale party at the Mondrian Hotel!

Check out the best action of the night in the video, babes, for your last few Idol drops until next January. Our fave moments?

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Some behind-the-scenes deets on the Chris Brown-Rihanna sitch from a singer in the know. But first, Paula Abdul had better watch out, 'cause new girl in town Kara DioGuardi's getting rave reviews from former Idol contestants who so wish the songstress had been around when they were on the show.

"I think having a songwriter there is a huge addition," sassed season seven's terrifically tattooed Carly Smithson to us at a recent H'wood do. "She seems really nice as well. Her music is ridiculous! She's got hits everywhere! I would have liked that last year." Guess "Opposite's Attract" wasn't a big enough hit for Carly back in the '90s?

Season one contestant (and ex-sweetie of last year's winner, David Cook) Kimberly Caldwell also exclaimed her amour for the new babe on the block: "I love Kara! I love that she tells Simon to shut up!"

OK, ya love the DioGuardi gal, but who shoulda really been added as judge numero quatro? You'll be surprised at the girl's way-honest answer:

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Lindsay Lohan, pampering herself at a pre-Oscar suite at the posh Bev Hills' Peninsula Hotel. Linds, looking ragged, thin and worn-out in a wrinkled tee, pathetically tried to get herself together with some acupuncture treatments. When she wasn't hittin' the needle, she furiously texted the whole time, keeping to her stuck-up self.

LiLo must have loved the suite anyway, since she came back the very next day for the same skin-poking treatment. Why doesn't she just try rehab again? Or a job? Work's good for the soul, sweetie. Another actress who's picked far better roles (and wardrobes) than Linds this year was...

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"Of course everyone's having fun—the economy sucks and the drinks are free!"

Which feeling-no-pain celeb said the above party-hearty quote?

 (a) Sandra Bullock, gypsy-woman hairdo falling by the second
 (b) Angelina Jolie, bored with tweaking Brad's tie for the umpteenth time
 (c) Jeremy Piven, mad with mercury poisoning, and bitter after his Entourage loss

For the cheeky answer to the above, plus a helluva lot more Globes juice, check it out:

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While 30 Rock's Tracy Morgan simply could not stop going on to me about meeting Tom Cruise at the Globes—even how much he loved the guy's handshake ("it was warm and firm," Jordan giggled)—others who know the Valkyrie and Tropic Thunder star better were less enthusiastic.

An ebullient Tom Wilkinson, fresh from his John Adams win, froze backstage when asked about his Valkyrie costar.

"He's...charming," Wilkinson told me, hesitatingly, and with a noticeable frown, like he was auditioning for Mean Girls 2 or something.

We pressed on, Any secrets about being on the set with him?

"I didn't spend a lot of time with him," said Wilkinson, who had numerous scenes with Cruise. Nor has Wilkinson even seen the Nazi Christmas movie. Don't you watch the movies you're in, man?

"Yeah, but I haven't seen that one."

Why the hell not?

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At the People's Choice do, Reese Witherspoon and Carrie Underwood both made statements about who they want to see more of in their lives—the former far more directly than the latter.

First, Reese showed up, sans Jake, to receive the Fave Movie Star award. Guess all those cutesy comedies (and overly photographed coffee dates with Jake) came in handy. But jeez, couldn't Jake have been awarded the paparazzi privilege of sharing Reese's limelight, since he's afforded her the same photo-op sitch for all these past months? Seems awfully odd.

Regardless, since the whole theme of the night seemed to be "Yes We Can," à la Obama, we simply wanted to know Reesie's expectations of the prez-elect. (We've been asking many celebs this same question.)

Too bad her publicist got in the way. "Oh no way! We will not talk about one thing except what is going on at the award show this moment!"

Sorry, we just assumed R.W. was a full-grown woman with thoughts and opinions of her own.

Razor-sharp switch, instead to: "Who are you excited to see tonight?"

"Carrie Underwood, she always sings her heart out and gives it her all. I just think she's awesome!" Interesting, as we asked Reese's gal crush Carrie about her own girl-on-girl matchup:

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