Screen GemsReview in a Hurry: A lazy PG-13 redo of the enjoyable 1987 R-rated suspense flick about a serial killer in search of the perfect family. The original is notable for being a breakthrough role for Terry O'Quinn, nowadays best known as John Locke on Lost. The remake is notable for nothing whatsoever.
The Bigger Picture: The 1987 Stepfather was directed by Joseph Ruben, also known for such fun films as Dreamscape, Sleeping With the Enemy and Money Train. The new version comes to us courtesy of Nelson McCormick, who subjected the world to last year's watered-down version of Prom Night. What, precisely, were you expecting here?
There's a wealth of potential in the story of a guy who just wants his fantasy of an ideal family to come true, and who will kill when it doesn't. Why does the guy think this way? Why do the women always fall for what they want to hear? What is the "perfect" family nowadays anyway? You could take it in a newer, more satirical direction, or simply contrast graphic violence with the stepfather's eerily calm persona, as the original did.
Or...you could do none of those things, strip the story of all its subplots (thereby removing 50 percent of the tension), do a half-assed job and hope that throwing Amber Heard in a bikini half the time for no particular reason (this is set in Portland, after all) is enough to hold the audience's attention.
Sadly, that was the option chosen here. Nothing seems to have been thought through—where, for example, does the stepfather get the massive amounts of cash with which he pays for everything? We could guess, but the movie can't even be bothered to go there. And why does he have such trouble keeping his story straight? In the original, it was because he was starting to juggle two families at once, but apparently McCormick and screenplay updater J.S. Cardone (also of Prom Night remake infamy) think a script like that would be too complicated.
Credit where credit is due: Dylan Walsh gives it his all in the title role of the man going by the moniker "David Harris," seen upfront walking away from a prior family he stabbed to death. His performance is reminiscent of Kurt Russell in every movie where Russell plays it ambiguously: the good-looking, square-jawed guy whose relaxed smile can suddenly fix into a rigid stare on a dime.
As his newfound wife and stepson, respectively, Sela Ward and Penn Badgley might have been good had they been given anything to work with, but it seems there was only room for one actual character.
And at almost two hours, you at least expect a decent climax, but even that cuts short right when it's getting going...an extended setup for a sequel that is mercifully unlikely.
The 180—a Second Opinion: Aside from Walsh's terrifyingly blue eyes, and Heard's almost-exhibitionism, there's the nu-metal version of The Turtles' "Happy Together," yelled over the end credits by Filter. It's possibly the funniest song of the year, though it was not likely intended to be.
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