Review in a Hurry: It's the exact same movie as the first Transformers, only more—more robots, more glorious violence, more Megan Fox (and Isabel Lucas) glamour shots, more really sophomoric humor, more Shia LaBeouf stammering, more cartoon references for the fans, more transformations...and some of it was shot in IMAX, too.
(Our grade of A-, it should be noted, presupposes that you liked the original and understand what you're getting here.)
The Bigger Picture: Revenge of the Fallen begins in caveman times, mainly so director Michael Bay can totally own Mel Gibson's Apocalypto in only two minutes. But also so we can meet big, bad The Fallen (voice of Tony Todd), a Transformer equivalent of Lucifer, who (naturally) inspired the ancient Egyptian images of gods and nowadays hangs out on Saturn where it turns out he's been bossing evil Decepticon leader Megatron (Hugo Weaving) around all this time.
Speaking of Megs, he gets revived from death pretty quickly via a remaining shard of the life-giving Allspark cube, all while newer Autobots are busy fighting alongside the U.S. military to seek out additional hidden Decepticons.
If any of the above sounds like a completely alien language to you, be absolutely certain to hit up Wikipedia before even thinking about seeing the movie, because if you don't already know what Energon and the Matrix of Leadership are, Bay ain't gonna catch his breath to hold your hand on the subject. Parents beware, though: You'll need your kids to explain it all to you, but you might not be so happy with all the jokes about dogs humping and robot genitalia. There's also an English-accented Transformer who says bollocks a lot.
Haters of the first film will probably be just as annoyed, as it's not like this one is substantially deeper. Some mistakes have been learned: The robots utilize a broader color palette this time so as to (slightly) more easily distinguish them in battle. Key fan-favorite Transformers like Optimus Prime, Starscream and Megatron have been given more substantial roles and no longer take a backseat to puny humans (Tyrese and Josh Duhamel are the ones with little to do this go-around).
Original Megatron voice actor Frank Welker has returned, though not as Megs, alas, but rather the equally significant Soundwave. And old-school character traits are more intact—Soundwave still ejects a robot jaguar from his chest, and Megatron once again has a huge cannon on his right arm.
Still no trace of the classic theme song, though. Sam Raimi managed to get the old Spider-Man cartoon tune in all three of his flicks. Do you have to rely solely on Linkin Park, Michael Bay? Really?
No sense getting too worked up about any of that, though—this is a giant robot battle movie that never takes itself too seriously.
Do likewise and revel in the excess.
The 180—a Second Opinion: Transformers are more fun when they actually, you know, transform. So the narrative energy flags a bit when they leave the urban areas for the desert, mostly remaining in robot mode for the rest of the movie.
Catch the latest flicks in our Totally New Releases gallery!