Ask the Answer B!tch
She's here to help
Can We Blame Gosselin Mania on the Recession?
What's with the obsession over people who aren't stars, like Kate Gosselin? Is it a recession thing?
—Kaybe, via the Answer B!tch inbox
The fixation on Kate Gosselin's bank balance could be some sort of symptom of hobo times, especially when combined with breathless accounts of—Miley Cyrus! Leaving Twitter! Like, forevvvvvs! And now look—up in the sky, but not really—it's Balloon Boy!
Meanwhile, coverage of more traditionally glamorous stars like Brad Pitt or Beyoncé actually seems to be dwindling.
But does our taste in gossip really reflect our jobless rate? Well, consider this...
What Is Jon Gosselin Really Up To?
Why is Jon Gosselin acting like such a jerk, shutting down his own show and saying such horrible things about the mother of his children?
—PDen, Ocala, FL, via the Answer B!tch inbox
Well, let's put it this way. What's the one thing Jon Gosselin really needs right now? I mean, besides a shirt that doesn't come from Ed Hardy? I mean, besides a shirt that doesn't come from Ed Hardy and a treadmill?
Here's a hint. It ain't just about money, folks...
How Much Michael Jackson Is Too Much Michael Jackson?
I am so sick of Michael Jackson, already, let him rest in peace. Why are they giving his movie 15 premieres? Are people really going to see this?
—Darryl, via the Answer B!tch inbox
How dare you, sir? Only "legend," "king," "icon"—or a repeat of "legend"—can be used in discussing Michael Jackson and his incredibly special, totally humble family. A man has died.
According to my research, you share a mindset with thousands, probably millions, of other feckless, Godless people worldwide. But not enough feckless, Godless people worldwide.
Even now, nearly three months after Jackson's family trotted out his gold-cased corpse on live TV, some people still want to see the upcoming documentary This Is It.
How do I know? Well...
How Many Dollars Do the Duggars' 18-Plus Draw?
How much do the Duggars get for their reality show? For me, the show is like an accident—you just have to look.
—Nicole_Tafoya, via Twitter
An "accident"? How cruel! Children are a gift from God! Right now, those 18 kids—soon to be 19—are blessing the planet with an estimated 1.7 million metric tons of carbon dioxide as an environmental legacy! And just in case you need help with your science homework, every one of those little angels stands ready to explain how evolution is a lie. You're just mean.
As for how much the Duggars are making off TLC network via their show, 18 Kids and Counting, well, hold on to your Bibles...
Does Anyone Want to Hire Jon Gosselin?
Why was Jon Gosselin selling lemonade? Is he that desperate for sympathy—or cash?
—Shennellc, via the Answer B!tch inbox
Actually, Gosselin and his kids were selling lemonade for charity, at a local Pennsylvania fire department. Photogs and reporters caught him out there a few days ago while he was filming a new episode of his reality show.
The firefighters might be the only fans Gosselin has left, though, if what everybody is telling me is any indication...
Do Girls Make Less Than Boys? (Hi, Paula Abdul!)
Did Paula leave because she didn't get as much money for Idol as Simon or Ryan? Is the pay still that much lower for women in Hollywood?
—Jojo, Pierre, S.D.
By now we all know that Ryan Seacrest just inked a $45 million deal for three Idol years, while Simon Cowell takes in about $30 million a year (and is denying rumors of a reported $144 million deal). Good for them.
Paula Abdul earned somewhere around $2 million a year, and reportedly was about to get a 30 percent raise. That still wouldn't have put her anywhere near her male counterparts. And if you think she's alone, wait till I tell you about Julia Roberts. And Angelina Jolie. And...
Can Speidi Still Charge $100,000 to Attend a Party?
I'm about to attend a convention in the U.K. Curious as to what organizers have to pay for a celeb appearance.
—Laiq, via Twitter
Looks like the worldwide monetary crisis hasn't hit celebrities so much. Unless you count Speidi, who recently whined that the crappy economy has killed their usual $100,000 appearance fee.
Kim Kardashian reportedly charges more than $20,000 to attend a club. No word on the separate appearance fee for her moon-shaped booty, but I'm working on it.
Meantime, this:
Would Rihanna Lose Deals by Taking Chris Back?
Will Rihanna lose any of her celebrity endorsement deals due to her getting back with Chris Brown?
—O7, via Twitter
Rihanna isn't losing her lifetime supply of CoverGirl Wetslicks Fruit Spritzers just yet.
Sure, thanks to reports of a reunion with her alleged pummeler, Rihanna definitely looks like less of a role model for young girls, marketing experts tell me. And the singer's endorsement clients may very well dump her. But not yet.
It just so happens that Rihanna's future as a shill depends on one person, and that is...
Was Jennifer Hudson Paid to Sing at the Super Bowl?
Watching Jennifer Hudson at Super Bowl XLIII, I thought she sounded amazing, but was she lip-synching? Also, did she get paid to sing the national anthem?
—YRD, U. Pittsburgh
Yep, she sure did mouth that "land of the free." No live singing there. Then again, Jennifer Hudson was under orders not to warble—from preshow producer Rickey Minor. Minor told Us Weekly, "There's too many variables to go live. I would never recommend any artist go live, because the slightest glitch would devastate the performance."
Then again, you get what you pay for, which was, in this case...
...zero dollars.
Do Angelina and Rob Pattz Get Hit by the Recession?
Hey Mzzz B!tch, I'm wondering how this recession will impact the A-listers? Will those beautiful people have trouble finding work? Are they still eating out?
—Mallie, Ohio
Unfortunately, we Angelenos still need Nicole Kidman more than ever. For at least the next several months, she and her mesmerizingly glassy forehead will continue to get major millions for movies, along with The Clooney and Brangelina and Reese Witherspoon and her very pointy chin.
And they're all eating—or pretending to eat—as much as ever. More on that in a second.
According to some reports, only the very tippy-top A-list is earning major bank right now. But then again, even middling stars are getting pretty hefty pay raises these days. Do I happen to mean the stars of Twilight? But of course ...
Do Big Stars Have to Audition for Movies?
Do all celebs have to audition for a role? Do big-time stars even have to do that? Or are they just handed to them?
—Joan G, via Twitter
Most of the time, A-list gods and goddesses don't have to read for anything.
In fact, even B-plus talent often joins a project before a casting director is even hired. That's what happened with the movie Soul Men. Samuel L. Jackson and the late Bernie Mac were both attached before casting director LaTanya Potts came on board to flesh out the rest of the cast.
As for Mickey Rourke and his gritty leotard picture The Wrestler, that's an interesting story. It highlights a muddy netherworld between auditioning for a part and getting it sight-unseen...
How Did Stars Get So Swindled by Madoff?
Didn't you once talk about how many people work for stars? If so many people work for them, how could a big celeb like Kevin Bacon get taken by financial advisor Bernard Madoff?
—Pubster, San Jose
Indeed, stars are excellent collectors of two things: money and people. Angelina Jolie prefers her person collection to come small and swaddled, but most other celebrities like to amass adults: assistants (anywhere from one to three per person) as well as multiple agents, nannies (three per child) and the like.
As for how an alleged fraudster financier like Madoff could penetrate all those celebrity toadies—he is accused of bilking millions from Bacon, his wife, Kyra Sedgwick, Steven Spielberg and many others—the answer may surprise you...
