The Awful Truth

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Dear Ted:
Who does Miley Cyrus think she is these days? First, claiming she's never heard a Jay-Z song and that she doesn't listen to pop music? And now, I've read reports that she is dissing the Twilight series. Based on the quotes it seems like she is going out of her way to alienate her own fan base. What's her deal, and will her fans continue to be loyal if she keeps it up?
—C

Dear Mouthy Miley:
Please, this letter is exactly what she wants! Since not everyone is focusing on all Miley all the time, she needs to stir up some trouble. Leave those kinda comments to Megan Fox; Miles, she does it way better.

Dear Ted:
I was just looking through People's Sexiest Man issue. How many of the drool-worthy guys pictured in that issue are something other than hetero? Adam Lambert is one, so two or three? Four? More than five? Or would it be easier and less litigious for me to ask you which ones are straight as an arrow?
—Sebastiadams

Dear Yummy Edition:
People's (Out) Gayest Men Alive just wouldn't really sell, now would it?

Dear Ted:
What's the deal with Peter Facinelli and Kellan Lutz? Are they just friends or do they have some hidden secrets? Any goss to share on them?
—Kym

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Dear Ted:
I came upon this article, and I just wanted to point out that it did make valid points. I am in no way a fan of or care about what Miley Cyrus does, but there does seem to be a double standard when it comes to males and females. You have scolded Miley for pole dancing, but what about Taylor Lautner who poses for magazines in a wet T-shirt? Jaws drop for him whenever he takes his shirt off, but can the same be said for Miley? Her scandalous photo shoot for Vanity Fair sparked a lot of controversy, but here is Taylor, who is also underage, taking his clothes off for magazines. While, yes, Miley is a Disney Darling, so what? Taylor wasn't a darling, but he was associated with the franchise. What makes it OK for Taylor to pose semi-nude and not Miley? Is it because he's male? I would love to hear your opinion.
—Faye

Dear What's the Diff:
Totally valid point. Except I know a lot more about Miley's behind-the-scenes doings as I do about Taylor's. At this point, at least.

Dear Ted:
I'm probably way too old to be focusing on teenager crap, but here goes: I know that everyone thinks Taylor Swift is so sweet, but I thought she was supposed to be good friends with Selena Gomez? Good friends don't date each other's ex-boyfriends/ex-"close friends"/whatever. Or is it Selena who's not as sweet as she appears?
—janedoeny

Dear Good Question:
You're right—that's girl rule No. 1. Could one of those three relationships be faux, then?

Dear Ted:
Just saw the pics of Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart leaving VBC. What is wrong with them? Taylor Lautner walks around like a normal person, whereas R and K draw more attention to themselves by hunching around looking like they're wearing bad disguises. Can't Summit teach them how to handle themselves a little better? Don't they know how stupid they look?
—MRF

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Dear Ted:
I love Robsten and can't get enough info, pics and sightings which are few and far between...yet Ashley Greene and Kellan Lutz are constantly seen together and not shy about their "friendship". Is there anything else there or are they really just friends? I think it's interesting nobody cares or gives a second thought to Kellan and Ashley being a couple but we all go crazy over the mere thought of Robsten. Thoughts? Feelings? Scoop?
—Sbb

Dear Vamp lovin' fan:
They knew each other and were friends before all this Twilight hooplah. Ash has told us tons of times she and Kellan are the closest on set. We don't think there's a friends with benefits situation going on...now, anyways.

Dear Ted:
OK, so I've heard enough about Alexander Skarsgård do-ability from you that I finally put True Blood in my Netflix cue. You're right though, Anna Paquin is off the charts. The show's only so-so, however, and one thing is driving me nuts. It really sounds like they are using a motif from The Tudors in the background music, occasionally arranged differently, but sometimes violin-note-for-violin note. Can you find out if they are recycling their music, possibly in hopes to transfer some of JRM's bad boy heat to these otherwise mostly tepid vampires? Or am I just mad as a hatter on this one?
—Wondering Winnie

Dear So Random:
I don't watch The Tudors, but I don't think the TB peeps are that dumb—or cheap. 

Dear Ted:
Is everything as lovey-dovey and perfect in John Krasinski and Emily Blunt's engagement as it seems? They got engaged pretty quickly (together for only 9 months following a pretty nasty breakup on her part) and there have been rumors that she's cheating. What do you think?
—Brit (Bluntski fan)

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AP Photo/Dan Steinberg, Steve Granitz/Getty Images

Dear Ted: 
So I read what was written about Miley Cyrus in your Hot and Underage in Hollywood Gallery. Do you think you would have the guts to say this to her face? I'm 16 and I'm really, really disgusted, 'cause it's not just Miley you're implying is a slut but all us girls who don't conform to society's messed-up expectations and double standards about how we should act. It probably doesn't matter, but I'm done with you.
—A

Dear Sweet Sixteen:
Cyrus does dress and act too sexy for a 16-year-old, especially one whose every choice is scrutinized by the world. If she doesn't want the jailbait comparison, she should put some damn clothes on and stop taking photos of herself in her skivvies and posting them on the 'net.

Dear Ted:
Yes, you are right about calling out Nicole Kidman for not apologizing or acknowledging what her hired goons did to the photographers. But does this affect her role? I recall Angelina Jolie's hired hands were not the most polite individuals; it did not have a bearing on her appointment from the U.N. Maybe you can answer the question as to why are Brangie and Kidman considered A-listers but their movies do not generate massive box office returns? Is there a new system to who achieves A-list status?
—Rhonda

Dear Top-Shelf Stars:
Scoring a spot on the A-list comes from how much money you make per movie; how much awards love you receive; and how much you're talked about. At one point Angie and Nic had all three, while now they're both just rich and get talked about (though Angie at least tries once in a while with all those tear-jerkin' dramas).

Dear Ted: 
What's the deal with Justin Timberlake's mom? Does she keep her son's balls in a box under her bed or what? She seems a little overly possessive of her grown son. Or does J.T. still really need his mommy?
—Bubbley

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Peggy Sirota/GQ

Is it unhealthy to lust after Twilight's Taylor Lautner, or any of the myriad oversexualized teens in H'wood?

But that's what they want us to do, ain't it? Why else would they so easily just ooze sex appeal, even though they aren't old enough to pull the slots in Vegas or throw back a flute during a fete (at least not here in the States).

But not everyone's against it: Tina Fey told us at the Emmys, "I consider it a rite of passage for all our young daughters to work the pole."

We couldn't agree with her more! We're totally for all of the hot young things in movies, TV and music being free to explore how they want to express themselves—be it an oversexualized photo shoot, age-inappropriate fashion choices or sharing the minutiae of their dating lives on Twitter. This is the best time of their lives to make mistakes, no?

Check out our gallery, chock-full of Twilight peeps, Disney kids, H'wood royalty and all the other sizzling pop-culture young things who we can't believe are still too young to get into L.A.'s hottest clubs (not like that stops some of them!).

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PacificCoastNews.com

With all of the celeb cameos—Penélope Cruz, Liza Minnelli and now Miley Cyrus—is there even going to be any damn plot in Sex and the City 2? Seriously, we're starting to get concerned this movie is going to be more about star power and less about our fave characters back on the big screen.

Most recently Kim Cattrall and Miley shot a red carpet scene together where they are caught wearing the same dress. Samantha (Kim's character for any of you living under a rock) has always tried to hold onto her youth, what with dating her gorgeous, much younger dude played by Jason Lewis, so we can only assume this scene is supposed to embarrass cougar-licious Sam for wearing the same thing a 16-year-old is.

Uh, but is anyone thinking of the flip side here?

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Mark Sullivan/Getty Images; Todd Williamson/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
You say Jennifer Garner isn't so nice. But why do you say that? There must be a reason? I would love to hear that because I'm having a hard time accepting that. P.S.: I love Kristen Stewart!
—Mattias from Belgium

Dear Too Many to Type:
Rude to friends, fans and husbands plus she's totally manipulative.

Dear Ted:
I know that as a gossip site you find ways to sensationalize stories, and admittedly, I buy into them just as much as the next girl. But please remember Miley Cyrus is 16, and while I appreciate your opinions on David Letterman and the inherent misogyny in Hollywood, maybe you should think about applying these feminist ideals to Miley, who is, after all, only a performer and what we see of her is only the entertainer side. I hope I'm not too preachy; I'm just a big fan who doesn't consider her age-inappropriate or slutty at all (a term which when used sets a much worse example for kids than anything Miley might do).
—A.sisley 

Dear Side Cyrus:
Have you seen Mean Girls? Regina George's little sister who is in front of the TV and copying the "Milkshake" dance? Imagine a 7-year-old finding a pole-like object and gyrating on it, like Miley did at the Teen Choice Awards. Not exactly a fab role model, but I get your point.

Dear Ted:
Started reading A.T. this summer and now I find myself checking in every day. Keep up the good work Ted! Have you ever had a Blind Vice on Robert Pattinson?
—Love from Norway

Dear Up Front:
Kind of. 

Dear Ted:
Have you heard about the H.A.P.Y. act? A bill has been introduced for tax relief for pet owners. Please check it out and contact your congressman. Thanks!
—Kathy 

Dear Politically Correct:
Will check it out. Heaven knows my vet bills could use it.

Dear Ted:
Who is the bigger (no pun intended) douche: Seth Green or Kevin Connolly?
—Hayden

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AP Photo/Ron Edmonds

Dear Ted:
I couldn't agree with you more about President Obama. And while we're at it, could you please explain to me how the president of a country that is currently at war and is still torturing prisoners could possibly receive the Nobel Peace Prize?
—Amanda F., NYC

Dear I Wish:
If I were able to explain that to you, then I'd probably agree with it! Motivational, perhaps? Never thought I'd agree with the right-wing side of things, but it does seem to be more about his star power, less his benevolent soul.

Dear Ted:
How can you say Kate Gosselin is the lesser of two evils? Have you not watched the show and how much Jon was home being a stay-at-home dad while Kate was off trying to be famous? Then when she was home, degrading him every minute? It's just that she has TLC telling her how to behave now to make her look good in the public eye while Jon is being a normal human in a sad situation. She is so scripted. Even the little boo-hoos. She doesn't do it all for her kids. She's in it for herself. Give Jon some slack.
—Vmko

Dear Hailey Glassman:
Yeah, I definitely have seen how she degrades him, but at the end of the day, who is taking care of the kids while they, too, are going through a hard time? OK, the nannies, but Kate seems to be there for them a helluva lot more now than he does. Reverse the situation: Kate was the bread earner, of course she was gone. If the stay-at-home sitch was flipped from the beginning we wouldn't be having this debate, would we?

Dear Ted:
Love all that you do for animal shelters! Keep it up. I have a question about Jake Gyllenhaal. We know that he is a Blind Vice, but what I can't put my finger on is whether or not you like/respect him. What are your personal feelings about him? Good guy or do his hidden Vices make you dislike him?
—Jmp

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CBS

Dear Ted:
Most everything else you have to say that's opinion I 98 percent agree with! (Go puppies! Don't touch babies!) However, I respectfully disagree completely with your assessment of Letterman! Two consensual adults, yes, doing a deceitful thing, is completely different from raping a minor (or anyone in general). I'm not saying Letterman is justified; if I were his wife he'd be missing his wiener, but this call for action against him is absurd. You say how you want public figures to step up—he did.
—BC

Dear Letterman Ticked:
Yeah, but only halfway. After Letterman's admirable owning up to the accusations, he then went on to joke about it, as if diddling the women on one's staff is just so hilarious and commonplace, chuckle-chuckle, America! Of course there's a huge difference between rape and inappropriate sex. But they both come down to the mistreatment of women, which is no laughing matter, like, get real.

Dear Ted:
I don't know if you've been following but on blog sites like Oceanup there's been a lot of talk about a Jonas/Miley Cyrus feud vs. Miley and Nick being Niley only really, really on the down-low. Any thoughts? In my opinion Miley could do better, especially if the "reconnection" was all about publicity. Though it must be hard for Nick to have an ex that is much more successful than he is.
—A

Dear Girl Power:
Trust me, there are many things these tweens want to keep hidden. It just wouldn't be good for their shiny reputations.

Dear Ted:
I recently watched Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, and Jennifer Garner looked terrible! I used to think she was so gorgeous, but now she just looks old. She's only 37, but she looks like she's well in her 40s. What happened?
—lalala

Dear Wrinkles Talk:
Marital troubles take a toll on the looks first.

Dear Ted:
I love you to pieces, you know that, but do you think that perhaps the Awful Truth may be contributing towards some of the mayhem in Robsten's life right now? We fans are all so desperate for any tidbit of information (which you so graciously give us), which in turn feeds the media frenzy to hound, spy, harass or do whatever it takes to get this information. Perhaps you could give K.S./R.P. a break by declaring one day a week a "Robsten-free" day and not allow any Robsten reference in any posts, B.B.s, Blind Vices, etc. Maybe we fans can be "weaned" from the Robsten tree of information. Just an idea.
–Annie

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Kevin Mazur/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
So sorry about your breakup. Just getting over one myself (though as I'm 16 it's not really the end of the world right?) Anyway, I'm a huge Miley Cyrus fan but I frankly don't care about her personal life, i.e., whether she's a virgin, etc. All I know is she's fierce and I heart the crap out of the girl. However, I do get sick of the double standards especially in regards to the Jonas Bros. Do you know anything about the rumor that Nick is dating Camp Rock 2 dancer Courtney Galiano who happens to be 21? And if he is do you think he'll get the same BS from the media that Miley experienced when she was dating Justin Gaston? I know the Jonas teenies are already tweeting her threats...got to love 'em.
—Miss Gwennie

Dear Jonas Exposed:
Not sure what to make yet of Nick's supposed new romance, but hypothetically he would not get crap like Miley did. This Courtney chick would! Not from yours truly, but you know it would be coming.

Dear Ted:
Just a quickie. Do you know if Hugh Jackman and/or Daniel Craig drop any clothing while performing in their NYC gig? Because if so, I may just have to make my first-ever trip to the Big Apple just to see their doable and divine bods. It would be worth it! Love ya! Keep on making my day by just being your sassy self!
—LB

Dear Skin for Skin:
Oh honey, you and me both! But our theater friends tell us Hugh and Daniel take off their jackets and roll up their sleeves exposing their amazing forearms. But that's as much skin as they show. Crap.

Dear Ted:
I'm tired of gossip about Robsten, Jen Aniston, Angie and Kate Gosselin. Tell me about the so-called "serious" actors like Kate Winslet, Cate Blanchett or Daniel Day-Lewis, for example—are they really as down-to-earth and nice as they seem, or they are just lucky that the public is not interested in them? Thanks!
—Barbarella

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Jeff Kravitz/Getty Images

"I consider it a rite of passage for all our young daughters to work the pole."

—Emmy winner Tina Fey, when we asked what she thought of teenagers sexualizing themselves too young, as Miley Cyrus sure has done! Interesting take there from Fey—who's a mom herself

Big Australia/Flynet

Ted Casablanca is traveling this week and mail is being tackled by Team Awful—so try us!

Dear Awful Truth:
Haven't heard much from you about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes lately. Standing in line at the supermarket, I see headlines saying they fought like crazy when he visited in Australia. Those mags say there is trouble in paradise. What do you hear?
—Cat Mommy in Texas

Dear Didgeridoomed:
But then you must have read the alternate stories, right? The ones that said that when Tom was Stateside, Katie kept it low-key, and when he visited in Oz, she was suddenly a photog sweetheart and happier than ever? There's no trouble in paradise, necessarily—maybe there was just no paradise to begin with. Think about that one for a minute.

Dear Awful Truth:
What causes a person to take nude pictures of themselves? I mean, if you're a celebrity of some sort, wouldn't it be foolish to do that? There's a high probability that someone will get a hold of the pictures and sell them to tabloids or something.
—Amont

Dear Duh:
And for some celebs, that high probability you speak of is exactly why pictures are taken. And released. And then oh-so-innocently denied. But hey, I'm not naming names...

Dear Awful Truth:
Has Terry Tush-Trade ever worked with Luke Grimes?
—Imqaatdbru

Dear Grime Time:
If that's a veiled attempt at guessing that Michael Welch is T3, then you, sir, should be coyer next time. And nope, it's not Mikey. (Haven't we already told you that?)

Dear Awful Truth:
Hey! Jackie Bouffant has to be either Chris Pine or Zachary Quinto! Both of them are hot right now, both have beards on their faces and both have had figurative beards. So which one is he?
—Andrew

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