Ask the Answer B!tch
She's here to help
Were Miley and Selena Told to Diss New Moon?
Gregg DeGuire,Chris Polk/WireImage.com
Why are people so up in arms about the comments Miley Cyrus made about not liking Twilight? I'm sure there are plenty more people out there that don't care for it either.
—LeAnn, via Facebook
Miley Cyrus—and fellow Disney pixie Selena Gomez—sure do dislike themselves some Twilight, yes they do. Miley told a radio station this week: "It's a cult. I don't believe in it." And Gomez then confided in Bonnie Hunt that when it comes to the Saga flicks, "I don't watch them."
Which is odd, because just this past June, she was asked about Twilight and said: "It was good. It was really good."
Hmmm.
What people are wondering here is whether Miley, and now Taylor Lautner's punkinhead of an ex, were compelled to say nasty things. Because no teenager is allowed to hate Edward Cullen. It is the Tween Code, and it must never be rent asunder. So, people assume, something sinister must be going on, and by "sinister," people suspect "Disney." Did the Mouse have a hand in this?
Well...
How Can Tweens Think Miley's Worse Than Kanye?
Steve Granitz/Getty Images
Why have the tweens suddenly turned on Miley Cyrus? There was just a survey calling her a bad influence.
—Forlu, via the Answer B!tch inbox
Like I KNOW, RIGHT? Especially because every single one of the people who voted in that survey on AOL is probably listening to "Party in the USA" right now. (And yes, Madison, Hailey, Breanna, Chloe and Zoe—I am talking to you.)
Given the raging success of the Hannah Montana movie and other Miley Cyrus juggernauts, it may seem odd that the tweens of America have suddenly decided to eat their own. They voted her their worst celebrity influence, just ahead of Britney Spears and Kanye West.
To understand why, look closer...
Is There Any Real Dirt on Selena Gomez?
Jordan Strauss/Getty Images
How come everybody seems to love Selena Gomez? You can't go anywhere to look for dirt on this girl.
—Andre H.G., via the Answer B!tch inbox
And thus the circle was squared: Your second sentence essentially answers—or at least partially answers—your question.
Tweens love Selena Gomez because—aside from her hit show (Wizards of Waverly Place, people) and music, of course—she offers just enough bubblegum intrigue to reel you in without grossing you out.
This is not Britney Spears, with her icky bare feet traipsing in and out of public bathrooms, and her erstwhile bald head leering into a paparazzi lens, and her stripper poles, and her...ew. Britney is too much for that crowd. Tweenies just want to watch some TV and, um, hear a cool song, and pretend that their favorite stars are engaged in feuds.
Nobody—except for maybe Demi Lovato or Miley Cyrus—provides a better canvas for that kind of pink sparkly unicorn fantasy.
Exactly what is Selena's magic formula? Well...
Is Miley the New Britney–or the Other Way Around?
Kevin Winter/TCA 2009/Getty; Kevin Mazur/Getty Images
Hey Answer Bitch, is Miley really the new Britney? I don't think so.
—Jefry, via the Answer B!tch inbox
I assume you're referring at least partly to Miley Cyrus' stripper-pole action at the Teen Choice Awards? Which hearkened vaguely to Britney Spears' stripper-pole action in...well, where do I start? Full disclosure: I could not look directly at the Miley stripper-pole performance for fear of turning to stone, but descriptions from reliable sources indicate that stripper-pole interaction did occur.
Where are these comparisons coming from? Mostly Miley, it seems. But does all this necessarily mean Cyrus is doomed to a future of albino snakes and barefoot trips to the Porta Potti? Well...
Why Do Miley and Heidi Heart Jesus So Much Now?
INFdaily.com
Hey! What's with this new thing of so many Hollywood stars adoring Jesus? Please!
—DaisyRapp, via Twitter
Indeed. Gone are the days when we had a lone Kirk Cameron here, a random Mel Gibson there. Now it seems like the whole Disney talent stable is flashing a giant collective promise ring in our faces, bathing us in the virgin-white dazzle of all that metal.
Miley and the Jonas Brothers of course publicly love themselves some Jesus. Heidi Montag, too. Miley even twitters about it. A lot. (Jesus is Miley's Neosporin? Really?)
But marketers say it isn't an organized religious fervor or callous Disney marketing behind these chaste displays of affection.
It's actually something much more annoying...
Podcast: Why Do Paparazzi Love Miley So Much?
RIV/ Fame Pictures
Does any celeb have a good relationship with paparazzi?
—Chuck in Poquoson, Va.
True fact: The average celeb totally gets along with the paparazzi. Not everybody is Madonna. Heck, a star-shootin' source told me this week there's one li'l target they consider their queen: Miley Cyrus.
They give her room. They wait down the street, not right outside the house. They say "hello" and "how do ya do" and she says "hello" right back. Working out for her, donchathink?
For the full scoop on this and all your burning questions about how Hollywood works, check out my podcast above. And subscribe, why not, so you never miss a thing.
Are Miley Cyrus and Zac Efron Going to Flame Out?
AP Photo/ Matt Sayles; Ryan Miller/Getty Images
Where do you see the tween stars like Miley Cyrus or Zac Efron in 20 years?
—Laura
As much as you may hate to hear this, all three of these talents—Miley, Zac and Zac's mesmerizing hair—just might have long-term potential, or at least enough to avoid a Lindsay Lohan-style flameout. I have enough evidence to predict Miley and Zac landing safely—if not in a Reese Witherspoon-style A-list career, than at least a comfy, Raven-Symone-style rut. Interestingly, we should have more conclusive evidence as little as one year. How do I figure? Well…
Miley Cyrus: I Wanna Move Back to Tennessee
Disney Enterprises, Inc.
In her new flick, Miley Cyrus returns to an ochre-toned, sun-drenched Tennessee countryside, where her Miley Stewart/Hannah Montana character paints a henhouse and learns to appreciate the slow life.
But would Cyrus, who also proclaims to love show business, ever move back to her real-life home state? I just got out of a press conference held by Cyrus, her dad and three of her costars from Hannah Montana: The Movie to answer this and other Qs you asked via Twitter.
And yes, heading home is a definite plan...
Can I Sue Miley Cyrus If Her Snacks Make Me Sick?
Disney Enterprises, Inc
Just read about the recall on the Hannah Montana granola bars, which may have bad peanuts in them? If I eat one and it gives me salmonella, can I sue Miley Cyrus?
—StoneC
God, that would be fun, wouldn't it? I mean, once you ceased to vomit your spleen out of your eye sockets.
As amusing as the pretrial publicity would be—would she have to appear in wig?—the reality is, Miley Cyrus is pretty much bulletproof in this situation. She's only a face on a package, not a peanut mogul or granola-bar maker. All that said, there's always one exception to everything.
There is one way that Miley could, in fact, get dragged into court over offensive peanuts and sickening bar. It's unlikely, but here goes...
Why Is Miley's Oscar Dress So Familiar?
AP Photo/Amy Sancetta
Why does Miley's Oscar gown look really familiar?
—Pali, Delhi
You speak of Miley Cyrus' sparkling tribute to the mighty Neptune, king of the sea. Fashion insiders are buzzing that it looks just a leeeetle too much like an iconic Dior gown from 1949 called the Junon. Whether it teeters closer to homage or tips all the way over into ripoff territory, well, that's a matter for debate.
Just how similar are these dresses? Well...
Who Gets to Go to the Academy Awards?
AP Photo/Kevork Djansezian
Other than the nominees, who else gets invited to attent the Oscars?
—The Wackness, via Twitter
Hot people, that's who. Remember Heidi Klum, who attended last year's Oscars as some Coca-Cola ambassador for heart awareness, wearing that diablo red, high-collared, floor length, fire-breathing dragon of a gown? Yeah. Not a voting member of the Academy. But hot.
Fellow guest Miley Cyrus was not an ambassador of any kind, but at least she had the excuse of being a presenter. This year, Zefron and Robert Pattinson are both going as well; both are presenting, and Zefron is also singing. Both, also, are hot.
The truth is, very few people who aren't Academy members get to set foot inside the forbidden city known as the Kodak on Oscar night. But you may be surprised to learn...
What's Most Evil: Zefron, Miley or Twilight?
RIV/Fame Pictures
My best friend and I are arguing over who is more evil. The categories are the Jonas Brothers, Zach Efron, Miley Cyrus, or Twilight. So who do you think is more evil?
—Amelia
Technically, dear, the term would be most evil. If the contest were pared down to, say, Miley Cyrus vs. Twilight—which it should be—then the term would be more evil.
Now, the analysis: As much as you may despise the Jonas Brothers, they really do try to be nice, and they love them some Jesus, and they clean up before every public appearance, and they put on ties, and they say terribly sweet things to reporters. Let's leave them to their treacle.
Zac Efron, meanwhile, never really says anything, so we have nothing to nail him on.
That leaves Miley Cyrus and the sparkling vampires...
Podcasts
Is R.Pattz Really the Next Keanu Reeves?
- Yes, but Kristen Stewart is not the next Natalie Portman. All this and more in my new weekly podcast!
For real, Taylor Lautner = Matt Damon
- Pretty much an all-Twilight/New Moon episode this week. With some strippers thrown in. All in our weekly podcast.
Why Did Rihanna Wait So Long?
- Also: How "This Is It" duped you, why celebs lie and what made tweens call Miley Cyrus a bad influence! All in our weekly podcast.
Where Did Gerard Butler Come From, Anyway?
- Also: Aniston, Selena Gomez, Gitmo! All in our weekly podcast.
