Will the Twilight Kids Have "Real" Acting Careers?

Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner, Keanu Reeves, Anna Paquin, Matt Damon Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images; Lester Cohen/Getty Images; Jeff Kravitz/Getty Images; George Pimentel/Getty Images; Noel Vasquez/Getty Images; Donna Ward/Getty Images
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Do you think the New Moon kids are actually going to have careers after all the Twilight drama dies down? Or be taken seriously?
—Queen of Shoes, via Twitter

Well, because E! Online readers just love reading about how actors are jealous of other actors, or sleeping with other actors, or making little baby actors with other actors, let's do this right.

Let's put this in terms of other actors. Like who among the Twilight stars is really the next Matt Damon, who's the next Drew Barrymore and who's the next Keanu Reeves?

Behold a possible future for each New Mooner...

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Do Celebs Really Hang Out in Strip Clubs?

Josh Duhamel nationalphotogroup.com
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What's up with Fergie and her hubby? Did he seriously cheat on her with a stripper?
—Lauren J., via Facebook

Well, let's see, we have the stripper, named Nicole Forrester, alleging yes; and Josh Duhamel denying it; and Forrester coming back with a lie detector test that she allegedly passed. So, ladies and gentlemen of the Internets, I ask you: Do you accept the lie detector test into evidence?

Now, if you're shocked, just shocked, that an actor would get busy with a stripper, you don't know actors. Or musicians. Or sports stars. Or anybody. Because everybody in entertainment loves a good exotic dancer, and I have evidence to prove it, along with a blind item or two...

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Yeehaw! Matt Damon, Josh Brolin Get Gritty

Matt Damon, All the Pretty Horses, Josh Brolin, No Country For Old Men, Jeff Bridges, Wild Bil Columbia Pictures, Miramax Pictures, United Artists

Matt Damon's family emergency appears to have found a happy resolution—and not a moment too soon. After the briefest of Damon dry spells, he's back to fulfilling all of our paparazzi-catching, movie-acquiring needs.

Wasting no time getting back in the saddle, the Oscar winner is in talks with Josh Brolin—who knows from both Academy Award nominations and Westerns himself—to star in a reimagining of the iconic 1969 cowboy flick True Grit (which, incidentally, earned John Wayne his only Oscar).

According to Variety, the duo would star alongside Jeff Bridges in the Joel and Ethan Coen flick. Should discussions turn to done deals, it would mark a reunion for everyone but Damon; the brothers Coen previously toiled with Bridges The Dude on The Big Lebowski and clocked hours with Brolin on the Academy lovefest No Country for Old Men.

The remake would follow Damon and Bridges joining forces with a teenage girl to track down her father's killer; Brolin would play the bad guy. The testosterone-heavy flick is due out in late 2010.

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Check out which others stars are moving and shaking on new projects in our Casting Couch gallery.

"Serious" Family Emergency Knocks Matt Damon Out of Charity Event

Matt Damon INFphoto.com

We hope everything turns out all right for Matt Damon.

The oft-involved actor was forced to pull out of a charity event tonight in San Francisco due to a "family emergency of a serious nature," his rep confirms to E! News.

"He wouldn't have missed this otherwise," she said.

Organizers for the Second Annual OneXOne Fundraiser, which Damon had been scheduled to host, had said earlier today that it's main man couldn't make it.

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Matt Damon & Ben Affleck More Than Just Friends

Ben Affleck, Matt Damon Erik Kabik

We knew there was more going on between Matt Damon and Ben Affleck than meets the eye.

Jokes about their level of closeness and who's banging Jimmy Kimmel aside, it turns out the longtime pals and Oscar-winning screenwriters really are more than friends and writing partners. In fact, they're related!

According to the New England Genealogical Society, the actors are both descendants of bricklayer William Knowlton Jr., an Englishman who settled in Ipswich, Mass., around 1630.

That would make Affleck and Damon approximately 10th cousins, once removed. Affleck was born in Berkeley, Calif., but spent his formative years in Boston, where he and Damon became friends.

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Edgy Matt Damon Drops In on the Entourage Finale

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Just look at that face. Does it even remotely resemble the Matt Damon we so often hear about? The fun-loving prankster who pals around with the likes of Brad Pitt and George Clooney? We think not. The sixth season finale of Entourage may consist of an Ari-Lloyd showdown, Turtle-Jamie-Lynn drama and (hopefully) some E-Sloane resolution, but more importantly, it features Matt Damon totally pissed off with Vince (Adrian Grenier). So what's the problem between Hollywood's nice guy and Hollywood's playboy? Let's just say, "It's for the kids."

See Entourage Sundays at 10:30 p.m. on HBO.

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Review: The Informant! Makes Matt Damon Fat for No Good Reason

The Informant, Matt Damon Claudette Barius / Warner Bros. Pictures

Review in a Hurry: Matt Damon stars as a corporate golden boy who exposes his company's price-fixing conspiracy to the FBI. This odd-but-true tale tries to piece fraud, embezzlement and bipolar disorder into a satirical framework, but like Damon's dopey toupee, the fit is never quite right.

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Michael Douglas: Singing and Same-Sex Smooching

Liberace, Michael Douglas, Matt Damon John Rowlands; Kevin Winter/Getty Images; Erik Kabik
More from Marc Malkin

Michael Douglas is getting ready to sing and kiss…Matt Damon.

Mr. Douglas told me he's going to try real hard to do his own singing in the upcoming Liberace movie, in which he stars as the late showman with Damon playing his real-life much younger lover.

"I got his books and I got his tapes," Douglas told me this morning at Michael Kors' Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week show in NYC. "Right now, we're doing Wall Street 2 until the end of the year, so [the Liberace film] is scheduled for next summer."

As for duplicating Liberace's musical chops, Douglas revealed…

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Matt Damon Takes His Jimmy Kimmel Angst Out on Guillermo, Joel McHale

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You'd better apologize to Matt Damon tonight, Jimmy Kimmel.

Because otherwise, the very-much alive movie star might unleash hell on you, the way he did on your sidekick Guillermo, who tonight dared to ape Damon's character from The Informant!, right down to the fake 'stache and cheap suit.

With Informant! costar Joel McHale standing idly by, Damon and Guillermo went to town on each other, movie-star-style, after Damon caught the portly parking-lot attendant posing as him and dared to question his thespian credentials.

"Is that my mustache?" Damon demanded, ripping it right off Guillermo's face, after which Kimmel's loyal stooge sent the best lover Sarah Silverman ever had flying right into a table.

When all was said and done and the apple chunks had been knocked out of McHale's smug mouth, Damon let it be known who he really blamed for all his troubles in life.

"I'm going to f--king kill Kimmel," he vowed.

________

Remember why Jimmy Kimmel is uncomfortable around Matt Damon in the first place? Refresh your memory right here.

Better Watch Your Back, Damon!

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Matt Damon might be alive and kicking, but who knows after George Clooney is finished with him.

To continue our ever-expanding coverage of hijinks between the two, Clooney is prepping for retaliation against The Informant! star who is semi-responsible for a gay fan's widely publicized stripper-gram last week. 

The other culprit? Another member of the Ocean's bromance, Brad Pitt.

At the Toronto Film Festival premiere of his new flick Up in the Air, E! News presented Clooney with a very simple question: "What are you going to do to Damon for 'Italy-gate'?"

His response? "I'm going to do something. I've got something big planned."

So there you have it. Damon, you've been warned. Pitt, you should probably watch your back, too.

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Clooney bromances aside, he has had some gorgeous ladyloves over the years.

Damon, Pitt Behind Clooney's Stripping Man-Fan?

With friends like these...

The very-much-alive Matt Damon turned up on the Late Show With David Letterman last night and, aside from breathing, made some news by offering a possible explanation for buddy George Clooney being ambushed by a clothes-eschewing would-be gay lover at the Venice Film Festival earlier this week.

It was Damon's fault. And Brad Pitt's.

As Damon tells it, Pitt was getting so fed up with Italian journos' queries about when he was going to tie the knot with Angelina Jolie, he finally blurted out that he'd do the deed once "George Clooney marries his boyfriend."

"So this Italian journalist comes in and goes, Matt, is it true what Brad say?" Damon, in his best Eye-talian accent, recounts to Letterman. "And I have no idea what he is talking about. But you know, I go, 'Yeah, of course it's true.' And he says, 'Do you mean George Clooney have a boyfriend?' And now I'm trying to keep a straight face and I go, 'Yeah, of course he's got a boyfriend. And he wants to legally marry him. We've been on him about this for years...' "

Flash forward to Tuesday: Damon turns on CNN and "this guy stands up and says, 'George!...I am a gay.' And this guy starts peeling his clothes off and he says, 'If you musta choose, choose me!' "

"I'm sure George is still laughing about that one," says Letterman.

Right. All we can say is watch out, Damon. Payback's a bitch.

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Joking aside, Clooney doesn't need any help in the romance department. Take a gander at some of his ladyloves.

Matt Damon Not Dead, Just Kicking Ass on Kimmel

Matt Damon, Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC/MITCH HADDAD

They're f--king (with) Matt Damon.

Though at least he won't be hurting for material when he turns up—alive and well—to chat with David Letterman tonight.

Fangirls' collective hearts briefly stopped beating yesterday evening when the Internet became awash with reports—or really, just one dubious and, as it happens, reycycled year-old report—that the Oscar-winning father of two had passed away.

Unlike the usual fake celebrity death reports that see victims falling off New Zealand cliffs, Damon's demise reportedly came during a trek through California's Palo Verde Mountains on Wednesday after going missing during a camping trip.

Never mind that Damon wouldn't have time to go camping even if the inclination struck, busy as he's been promoting The Informant! in both Venice and New York over the past few days.

Giving the rumor a touch (though just) of credibility, it cited TMZ as the source of the sad news.

And while the words "Matt Damon," "is" and "dead" did in fact appear on said site yesterday, it wasn't exactly a declaration.

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The Big Picture

Oh, Snap! Prankster and TV pitchman Ashton Kutcher takes a shot at the paparazzi for a change

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