EXCLUSIVE: Read it here first...

Exclusive! Candy Spelling Mouths Off!

Wed., Aug. 8, 2007 10:06 AM PDT by Marc Malkin

Lisa O'Connor/ZUMAPress.com

Candy Spelling just can’t shut up. And I love it.

Spelling, mommy to Tori and Randy and widow of late television maestro Aaron, is now a magazine columnist.

I have the exclusive first look at Spelling’s debut column in the upcoming issue of Los Angeles Confidential, on stands Aug. 15. In the piece, titled “Flashbulb Forward,” the matriarch takes on the paparazzi. But if you're thinking it's an attack on overzealous shutterbugs, think again.

Instead, she offers the photogs advice on how to improve their reputation.

Her suggestions include using hybrid cars to chase down celebs, donating some of their profits to charity and even hiring a publicist. “It’s time for an image makeover and maybe a new job title, too,” Spelling writes.

Spelling also pens that she’s well suited to be talking to the paparazzi. “I hope you’ll take some advice from someone who’s famous because her husband was famous and now because she has famous children,” she writes. “I see you outside my house when I come and go, shooting (and judging) the groceries I buy, the movies I see, the clothes I wear and various other subjects I can’t imagine are of any interest to anyone outside my family.”

Wait a minute—Candy Spelling does her own grocery shopping?