"The Osbournes" Bleeps Off

Mon., Mar. 21, 2005 3:20 PM PST by

It's all over but the cussing.

The final episode of MTV's The Osbournes airs Monday night, three years after the nuclear-meltdown family paved the way for the Gottis, the Gastineaus and the Lacheys.

"You have to end on top," matriarch Sharon Osbourne told the Associated Press in an interview distributed Monday.

Though their influence as the first familial notables to make their lives a prime-time gawkfest will long reign, Ozzy, Sharon, Jack and Kelly's run as ratings stars is long over.

Viewership this season was about one-fifth of what it was during the show's heyday in 2002, when upwards of 8 million tuned in each week to see the profanity-favoring heavy-metal clan cope with dog poop, dentistry and noisy neighbors.

In Monday's New York Post, patriarch Ozzy likened the show's trajectory to a subject on which he presumably is well-informed: Parties.

"At the beginning, it was great," the rock star said in the paper. "But you know, if you're going to a party every night, the first couple of nights, you go, 'Hey, hey, this is fun!' But on the third night, you're going to be like, [Bleeping] hell, another party.' Eventually you're going to get pissed off."

For the Osbournes, the money was plentiful--they reportedly netted as much as $20 million just to reup with MTV when the show hit it big back in 2002, even winning the family an Emmy for Best Reality Show--but the fun was short-lived.

Within weeks of the first-season finale, in the midst of the family's pop-culture "It" moment, Sharon Osbourne was diagnosed with cancer. Her battle against the disease was chronicled on the show, as was a myriad of other major and minor disasters: Kelly's rehab stint (which followed Jack's rehab stint); Ozzy's ATV accident (which preceded Ozzy's admission he was overmedicated); and Sharon's talk show.

Monday's non-hyped series finale will see Dr. Phil McGraw go all Dr. Phil on the Osbournes, and dissect the mostly functioning dysfunctional family.

Unlike the rest of the shows from the fourth season, featuring footage shot last year, the Dr. Phil episode was taped just weeks ago. Because of the layoff between shoots, Ozzy Osbourne had almost forgotten what it was like to be trailed by MTV's cameras. The feeling came back fast.

"I got kind of hot around the collar," Ozzy told the Post. "I thought, [Bleeping] hell, how did we live with that for all that time."

Now that the show has wrapped, Sharon Osbourne said the family is considering selling the Beverly Hills mansion featured in The Osbournes, saying it feels more like an office than a home.

With the cameras off, the clan is scattering. Jack, 19, and Kelly, 20, are moving out of the 90210 digs for good, Sharon told the AP. Ozzy, 56, is back in record stores Tuesday with the box set, Prince of Darkness.

The swear words, presumably, are forever.

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