Cosmopolitan Magazine

• Sorta bad timing for Cosmopolitan's December cover featuring Fergie talking about how great Josh Duhamel is. She says he loved when she put on weight and he had "extra meat to grab."

• Rihanna picked a good day to speak out about domestic violence. Just today, this trailer featuring Casey Affleck beating Jessica Alba popped up and then Marilyn Manson released a music video of him attacking an Evan Rachel Wood look-a-like. Both are NSFW and disgusting.

• Continuing on with what is apparently Domestic Abuse Awareness Day, Chris Brown is confused why some people "basically want me in jail."

• Sarah Jessica Parker tells Elle, "I love the smell of diapers; I even like when they're wet and you smell them all warm like a baked good."

• Taylor Swift and John Mayer duet on this new track "Half of My Heart." Well, it's actually more like T.Swift sings backup, but whatever!

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Katie Holmes is double-fisting the Starbucks in our Big Pic, it's just one of those kinda days.

• Since New Moon is on some kind of mission to show every single moment of the movie before we actually get to the theaters, here's a behind-the-scenes feature on Dakota Fanning's red contacts. And after the jump Wolf Jacob attacks Dreadlocks Vampire.

• The same night Rihanna has her 20/20 interview, Chris Brown will be talking to MTV. How did he get so good at timing?

• Stop it right now, Taylor Lautner.

• Hailey Glassman and Jon Gosselin should only be presented in LOL speak, it just makes everything easier.

• Natalie Portman looks like she's really straining herself to look mad in V magazine. All she had to do was think about dinner hosts asking her to eat meat.

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Bruce Weber for Vanity Fair

• Outtakes from yesterday's big Rob Pattz Vanity Fair issue are here! (We've got one more after the jump.) But we really want to know where the behind-the-scenes video is?! And speaking of outtakes, here's Rob proposing to Kristen during their Harper's Bazaar shoot.

• Dolly Parton and Jessica Simpson bond on Twitter over having big boobs. Thanks for making that happen, Internet!

• Kiefer Sutherland ran up a $700 bar tab between 7am and 1pm, though to be fair some of that was a tip.

• Kirstie Alley landed a reality show that will feature her losing weight. Will this force her to cut back on the crazy twittering?

• It's not just fish that bothers Jeremy Piven, soy milk is also on his no-eat list. Apparently it made him grow man boobs. (Please stop talking, Jeremy Piven.)

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• Winona Ryder tells BlackBook magazine she was vital in Angelina Jolie landing her Oscar-winning role in Girl, Interrupted. "I fought very hard for her to have that part," she says, yet Angie never thanked her. "I feel like it won't read in print very nicely if I say that wasn't really her style. But she seems to be a completely different person now." Like the kind that says thank you while trick-or-treating? Still, Winona says, "I never had any bad feelings about Angelina."

• Kardashian news! Khloé regrets getting a "Daddy" tramp-stamp tattoo, Kim was busting out of her sexy Princess Jasmine costume and Kourtney is still pregnant.

• On the same day Rihanna releases her Rated R track list, Chris Brown releases his Space Jam-esque cover art. That's just the way things go now with these two.

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Matt Damon bundles up for fall in our Big Pic. You mean it's actually cold in some places?

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• Extra was kind enough to put together a free personal ad for Jessica Simpson. This is what she's looking for: "I definitely love a spiritual man...I can bore out pretty easily, so I love intellectual men...love artistic men...I like a confidant man."

• For all your Halloween preparations, Kim Kardashian is offering up photos from years past, and the Real Housewives of New Jersey tortured their children to bring you these ideas.

• Yeah, we may all want to see Kanye get slapped for real, but for now we'll just have to make do with a fake one.

• Last time we checked in on Levi Johnston's Playgirl shoot, there was only a 90 percent chance it would involve full-frontal shots. Well, we can now bump that up to a solid 100 percent chance of wang. Don't worry, it will be "tastefully" done.

• This crazy Miley fan blogged that they'll kill their cat Fuzzy if Miley doesn't rejoin Twitter. What's with Miley and all the crazy fans?

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Madonna's still in Malawi saving lives and opening schools, check her out in our Big Pic.

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 • Hailey Glassman says Jon Gosselin often throws mantrums where he calls her up and yells at her. "I shouldn't have to put up with being emotionally abused," she says, yet she won't leave him. "I don't want to leave him all alone. At the end of the day, I love him, but I dislike him at times. When I love someone I would never hurt them."

• This is quite the headline: "Exclusive: Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez 'Love Sex,' Says Pal." But that's not even the best part of the story. This is: "Another fling recalls portraits of the slugger as a centaur hanging over his bed."

• There has to be a better way to sell Vitamin Water than putting it in a New Moon trailer, right?

• Leave it to Joe Jackson to make sure his This Is It premiere appearance in Las Vegas was one of utmost class.

• It's nice to know the things Shakira says in real life ("My body feels like it is asking to reproduce") are as crazy as her song lyrics ("I'm starting to feel just a little abused like a coffee machine in an office").

• Michael Lohan is still on his quest for 2009's Father of the Year Award. He is now trying to nail down when Lindsay will die.

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Reese Witherspoon looks absolutely adorable begging or praying or whatever she's doing in our Big Pic gallery.

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• Khloé and Lamar got each other's initials tattooed on their hands, which means they really are in this thing for life. As she blogs, "I think the best tattoo experiences are the spontaneous ones, because that way you are not only left with the tattoo, but an amazing memory to go along with it!"

• All right, Lindsay Lohan, enough with the side boob. Now go put a top on and take a nap—it'll be better for all of us.

• Levi Johnston Playgirl update (because we know how curious you are): There is a 90 percent likelihood it will include frontal nudity.

• So Octomom went as herself for Halloween. Pretty spooky. Also, Us wrote an actual "How I Lost My Baby Weight" story about her, which is just really insane.

• Suri Cruise is back in high heels, this time in sparkly gold T-straps. Ahhh! How could you Katie? Actually, it's OK, they're really cute.

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Madonna happily breaks ground on her school for girls in Malawi in our Big Pic.

Barry Brecheisen/Getty Images

• David Cross has something special he'd like to share: One time on a dare, he did coke 40 feet away from President Obama at the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Great story.

• Speaking of the Obamas, their official family portrait taken by Annie Leibovitz was released today.

• Remember when Leonardo DiCaprio was Robert Pattinson? If you want to know how ridiculous the Robsessed kinda-but-not-really documentary will look in 10 years, we have the answer for you.

• Demi Lovato is seriously crushing on K.Stew. "Dear Kristen Stewart," she tweets, "you seem like the realest person in Hollywood. I admire you so much and I hope to meet you someday."

• Of her Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D costar Taylor Lautner, Kristin Davis says, "I feel protective, like what is he doing without his shirt on?" And that makes us 3 for 3 on Twilight stars in today's Link Party.

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Aw, Kim Kardashian has sad eyes in our Big Pic—hopefully she's dealing with this 29th birthday thing OK.

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• Jessica Simpson and Gerard Butler supposedly had a date that went like this: "They were laughing and flirting and eventually left together, along with Ken." How nice of them to include Jess' bestie hairdresser Ken Paves. Only, there was reportedly "nothing romantic there at all" and now Ken and Jess are trolling India for men.

• Lady Gaga is really going out of her way to let us know how next-level her Monster Ball tour is going to be. "Imagine if you could take the sets of an opera, which are very grand and very beautiful, and put them through a pop-electro lens." Remember when her VMA performance was going to "inspire a movement"? Don't talk things up so much, Lady.

• For some reason, Heather Graham has decided to insert herself into the health care debate. Here she is as the public option. She's probably not helping anything.

• Weird things are going on with the Olsen twins' eyebrows. We suspect Tyra must have a hand in this. If Tyra wants to give you a Ty-over that includes brow bleaching, just say no.

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Oh no, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz looks so happy in Big Pic. She must not have heard the news she's fired. The Internet always finds out first.

• Adam Lambert released his first music video today, the 2012 theme song "Time for Miracles." Is this how the Mayans predicted the world would end—fire, mass destruction and Glambert singing on a rooftop? If so, the Mayans may have just foreseen this video and we can all relax.

• Amy Winehouse's dad just went all Joe Simpson on us and commented about his daughter's bosoms, telling the world how much he digs his own daughter's boob job: "Her boobs are great as well. I shouldn't have said that should I? She looks absolutely fantastic." Aw, what a proud papa.

• Jon Gosselin keeps being awesome—he can't stop! He charges $10,000 to $12,000 for a radio appearance because he is "quite funny, sharp-witted and interesting." That's right he is! Also, he wants nothing to do with Octomom Nadya Suleman. Too bad, that would have been funny.

• We all need a little Balloon Boy in our wardrobe, now don't we? Or maybe there's some way we can make it out of a box?

• The Insider’s favorite new thing seems to be yelling at bad celebrity dads. This time around, J.Goss' bestie Michael Lohan goes in for his verbal lashing by Real Housewives of Atlanta’s NeNe Leakes, who is filling in for Nancy Grace.

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Lindsay’s looking significantly better in our Big Pic today compared to the last time we saw her.

Gregg DeGurie/Getty Images; AP Photo

• Oprah and Sarah Palin have finally agreed they can talk to each other after being all weird about it last year before and after the election. Oh, and what do you know, the former Alaskan governor's memoir (the result of a multimillion-dollar book deal) will be released the day after the Nov. 16 appearance. Funny how these things work out.

• Be careful listening to the New Moon soundtrack. This review says it's so supersad, it makes you want to throw yourself off a cliff into the raging ocean waters below, and there isn't going to be some shirtless boy wonder to save you, so, seriously, be careful.

• Adam Lambert has achieved his dream of working with Lady Gaga. "Gaga just gets it, ya know?" he tweeted. Also, Glambert did the theme to 2012, which is available today. And his album will be dropping Nov. 23, the same day as Rihanna. Phew! Big Glambert day.

• Speaking of Rihanna, when is this hair going to be ova? Here's another angle of it just so you can see how bad it really is.

• Mischa Barton says she's not going to be taking anymore TV roles. Bold statement. This means she will be left with no roles, which is kind of where she is anyway.

• LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian were out holding hands last night in Hollywood, and they just look so pleased with themselves.

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Jennifer Garner successfully juggles two kids in today's Big Pic.

James Devaney/Getty Images

• With all this Balloon Boy stuff, we've forgotten about our dear Jon & Kate for a brief second. Where are they? Oh, just in Vanity Fair. Poor Kate feels "like a prisoner" of her new fame. Life is so hard now, she can't even get some sushi from Nobu—instead she has to go to FAO Schwarz so people will think she's the better parent. She also admits the eight have started acting out because they miss their dad.

• Meanwhile, Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman made out for the paparazzi on a horse-drawn carriage ride through New York City. So romantic...

• Who wants to see Kanye West act like a drunk, belligerent fool? Oh wait, we've already had enough of that. But this Spike Jonze-directed short film does have a self-mutilating puppet creature if you're into that.

• Here are the rest of the photos from Marge Simpson's Playboy shoot. This whole idea still seems quite strange.

• This headline says, "Even George Clooney Has Ups and Downs in Love." That's why he just went ahead and built himself a Cindy Crawford robot. He's so relatable.

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Kristen Stewart is pretty upset that we included her in our Big Pic gallery. Sorry, K.Stew!