The Awful Truth

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We know Miss Cali is an utter hypocrite, but did she learn her contradictory behavior from Donald Trump, who totally picks and chooses how he gives his second chances? Why does Carrie Prejean get to keep her tiara on top of her swelled ego while Miss Nevada 2007, Katie Rees, was stripped of her title back in 2006?

Both beauty princesses were seen in all sorts of seminudity, so what's the big diff? Was it because Miss Nevada was kissing a girl in one of the leaked photos?

Sure, a bimbo-lovin' dude like the Donald, whose own ethics are so questionable it's laughable he'd be considered a moral authority figure, would sure love that type of sultry behavior—but not from one of his precious Miss USA gals. God forbid any lesbianism taint his perfectly primped role models, right?

What's Trump's take on the whole gay marriage debate, anyway?

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In an interview with Ebony Magazine, Jada Pinkett Smith says she really doesn't care about rumors that float around regarding her fam.

"You want people to talk about you, because once they stop talking about you, that's when you're really in trouble!"

True, but does she draw the line when it comes to her sexuality?

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In L.A., weekends are for exercising, gossiping and seeing old friends. Often all at the same time—just as they were this past Saturday with a network television studio head and his good friend, also a major player.

Studio Head's huffing and puffing working out next to Big Attorney and some other obnoxiously overpaid types. They're really going at it. In between extreme physical exertions, you will not believe what outta control Cher and Chastity Bono goss was dropped.

And it was not said in jest, trust:

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When Lindsay Lohan sat down for an exclusive with E!'s own fab Ken Baker this week, the least she could've done was be honest. I mean, she's sounding like Paris Hilton back when she did that Larry King interview.

There is no doubt L.L. is going through a hard time. We think the best PR move she could make is to admit she's going through some stuff but that she's trying to work through it and she'd like her privacy, not give the fake all-is-dandy-in-the-happy-lesboland story.

I told you about Linds' supposed cheating romp in Miami, and now X17 is reporting about yet another fight between her and Sam—this time about L.L.'s unfaithful ways. Coincidence much? Not in Hollywood, darlings.

And for you bitchy commenters out there, no, I'm not being a hypocrite and trying to ruin a "great gay relationship." Any couple this dysfunctional needs to end things before they drag each other further down into a crap hole, regardless of sexual persuasion.

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We told you Lindsay was still into guys. But first, it's old news that Ms. Lohan and Samantha Ronson have quite the tumultuous relaysh. Unfortunately for Michael Lohan, it seems that his sweet ol' daughter (who looks like his damn aunt, at this overly partied moment) just might be the one to blame.

After rescheduling their Valentine's appearance at Passion nightclub a couple of weeks ago in Miami, they still managed to piss people off. But not each other for once...until a couple of days later. L.L. was spotted in Vegas (where all rehabbers go, right?) having one of her freak-outs because Sam "left her."

Wonder what caused the lesbian tiff? Well, apparently Lohan wasn't exactly faithful during her makeup trip to Miami. We're hearing L.L. stepped out on Sam with...

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Watch out, Prop 8-supporting California viewers, the gays are coming to Dancing With the Stars! Of course, the wildly popular show's starting up again with a whole slew of loveable Z-Listers, but not one of 'em is matched with a dancing partner of the same sex, dammit to hell.

It's been eight friggin' seasons already—can we ever expect some fair and equal treatment on the ballroom competish?

Yes! Here's what happened when we went digging high up at DWTS for some answers:

Squawked a superinside executive-type source: "Of course—there's always the possibility of a same-sex couple."

What's the matter then, just haven't found the right twosome to kick things off as the first same-sex pair? Answer was affirmative.

So we hereby strongly suggest for next season's couples Mrs. Ellen DeGeneres, née Portia de Rossi, coupled with that darling Mormon chick Julianne Hough. How perfect would that be? Or how about cute Neil Patrick Harris and butcho he-man Maksim?

The way likeable, out 'n' proud Harris wouldn't mind getting down with a big daddy on the dance floor, we're sure, plus, we know NPH can actually dance with all those Broadway roles on his résumé.

Or is Neil way too A-list for this showcase of sorta-beens and out-of-work actors? How does DWTS even pick their kooky competitors, anyway?

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Valentine's weekend was a rocky one for some of the celeb couples that we told you should break up. Despite Linds and SamRon having a screaming fit on the streets of NYC, Life & Style is reporting that Lezhan did not end up intertwined in the legs of Chace Crawford that night.

Rather, she went over there at 6 a.m. simply because they're "friends." And now the girls are happy together back in L.A. Ugh, we're so sick of this blow up-reconcile routine. Are you?

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Lindsay Lohan, whose pals, no joke, are writing to me asking what the ef to do about their wandering-again chum, checked into Villa last night—but barely checked out.

While GF Sam Ronson, who was looking and acting far more put together, spun away, L2 sat in a booth behind her estranged SO. Lindsay, clad completely in black, would discreetly drink from bottles hidden below her table. Lohan's skin literally looked like it was falling off of her barely there shrunken frame, just grossly skinny.

While SamRo toiled away for her paycheck (does Lindsay even recall what that's like?), L.L. flirted and chatted up good-lookin' guys at her private table. Any girl who entered the vicinity, Lohan very loudly bitched and cussed out—it was totally like Tonya Harding or Amy Winehouse, take your pick, was starring in Mean Girls.

You really off the gals for good, Linds? Appears so. Oh, and there was a surprise male horny type guest who worshipped at Lohan's evil little throne, any guesses who?

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Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi took a stroll out in L.A. today, and we just adore PDR's par-tick taste in clothes. On every platform this pair has, from El's show to Port's own wardrobe, they're always speaking their minds, and we typically agree with what they're sayin'.

Nice reminder, too, that this couple's still considered married, at least for the moment, no matter how much hate spewing there's been this year in California. No damn prop is gonna buzz kill these newlyweds' honeymoon phase, clearly.

Is Aubrey O'Day jumping on the trendy lesbiterian bandwagon? The former Danity Kane dame was spotted out at the Zen Green Tea Liqueur launch in H'wood with a date other than her terrified li'l pooch: a gal-pal with benefits.

"I'm seeing someone right now," O'Day admitted to E! cameras, and when asked if it's a woman, she played it all coy-like: "You never know!" Please, girl.

Aub-babe was also seen recently smooching with non-Paris socialite Lydia Hearst. Whaddya think, folks, is AOD just seeking attention, or is she unveiling her true identity when it's en vogue to do so?

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"They like gay marriage in England. It's a progressive country."

—Brit-born Gavin Rossdale, hubby to gay icon Gwen Stefani, talking up how all this Prop 8 hate would go over across the pond. Oh, really?

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What I should really be peeved about is that hideous Narciso Rodriguez victory dress Michelle Obama chose to wear next to her fabulously historic and much needed newly elected husband, Barack.

What was she thinking? Doesn't she have any fashion-conscious girlfriends, any gay buds who could have advised her better?

Maybe they were all otherwise engaged trying to help defeat Prop 8, which makes gay marriage illegal in California? Very happy for the Obamas, truly I am. Hard to be ecstatic, though, right now.

Do you have any idea how demoralizing it feels to reside in a state where residents have voted to improve the rights of farm animals but lessen those of gay men and women? Say baaahh if you love Jesus!

And no, I have no intention of moving; the fight has only begun. Get ready for it, everybody. This will change. Just ask Ellen and Portia—and more than a few legal types—if you don't believe me.