The Awful Truth

Karin Bubas/ Charles H. Scott Gallery

We might be idiotic enough to let The Hills into our homes when we're flipping through the boob tube, but we know it's trash. Who knew there were people out there who consider it...art?

Artist Karin Bubas currently has an exhibition in Vancouver displaying several pastel portraits of the MTV faux-reality-show stars making their signature expressions—whether it's crying, sneering or talking on a cell phone, 'natch. 

The title of the exhibition? "With Friends Like These..." Too perf, doncha think?

Our fave is def a mascara-smeared, sobbing Lauren Conrad, tho we're not sure why she's so upset, since her replacement, Kristin Cavallari, didn't make the creative cut.

We totally dig these drawings, but as far as hanging them in our house or waxing poetic about meaning and art while gaping at 'em in a gallery? We're not so sure we could do that without cracking up.

How about you? Is this totally awful or really awesome? Regardless, at least they can't talk, that's one better than the reality show right there.

John Parra/Getty Images

What with Miss Cali's fib-producing puss, we're getting to be total lie detectors here at A.T. For ince: What about Kristin Cavallari taking Lauren Conrad's role, er, spot, as the main blonde on The Hills (better luck next time, Mrs. Pratt)?

It's so not surprising that they're beating this show like the deceased equine it is. What's more shocking is Kristin totally lied to us!

"I'm done with reality. For good," K.C. told us only two months ago at a WeHo shindig. Did somebody finally realize she can't make it in nonfiction, or is the Hills money way too good to pass up?

Of course, Cav-hon says the reason for her return to reality is "to get my fans excited about me again. When I first started out, I had a celebrity name, but I didn't have the acting skills I have now."

Gotta love the girl's honesty that there's nothing but pure performance on the show! But does she really consider one episode of a CSI and a Van Wilder sequel a master class in acting? That's how Meryl Streep honed her craft, right?

Denise Truscello, Fame Pictures, Inc

Lauren Conrad and Miley Cyrus are skipping big steps in celebrity branding—babes are passing right over releasing a fragrance and going straight to writing their own books.

In Miles to Go, the Disney ho shares her “inspiring story, spanning from her Southern roots in Tennessee to the excitement of her record-setting triumphs.”  The best part is the “novel” is even equipped with doodles! Wonder if this is reflective of Justin’s maturity level, too?

If tales of legal gals are more your style, the Hills hon blogs ‘bout her brand-new three-part series of books, L.A. Candy, calling them “a behind-the-scenes story of a young girl who moves to L.A. and unexpectedly becomes the star of a reality television show...Some of the characters may symbolize people in my life, but it is in no way calling anyone out.”

So when the Bridie and Flencer characters elope in Tijuana and start an evil plan of world domination—that’s just pure fiction, folks. Just like these other celeb-written works of fine literature:

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Kevin Mazur/WireImage.com

Lauren Conrad showed up to the Teen Choice Awards, as if she isn't already acting pimple-ready, as it is. Nevertheless, she gave us some oily dirt on next season, since we know all you obsessive Hills junkies can't stand to wait until then, anyway. "There's a lot of drama, a lot of new boys this season, which is fun." Get lucky in lust with any nice or not nice guys, Laur? "I kiss a boy. I don't know if he's nice." Yum, that's the sleazy ticket. You go, girlfriend, talkin' smack about the men you've snogged before the season even starts? We like this gal's guts. Seriously, tho, any guy's gotta be better for Con-babe than Brody or Jason.

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