Watch with Kristin

Kate Gosselin wishes she could have put a doggy shock collar on Jon to keep him at home.

OK, she's half-kidding (we think), but this is just one of the things we'll learn tonight, as TLC brings back Jon & Kate Plus 8 with two back-to-back episodes.

In the first, life seems sorta kinda normal as Kate takes the kids to gymnastics class and Jon takes them to a baseball game. In the second, Kate shows us never-before-seen footage from the previous season, including the aforementioned dog-collar jab, Kate accusing Jon of some bad parenting (see clip above) and the celebration of the Gosselin's 10th wedding anniversary.

According to TLC: "Viewers get the chance to see what wound up on the cutting room floor." [Editor's note: That is, their marriage.]

Sorry, but we're just starting to find this show (which we loved before all the real-life drama) too sad to stomach.

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Lisa Berg/NBC

• Kate Plus Ratings Stunt: What could the world possibly need more of than more Gosselin drama? Nothing! That's what TLC seems to believe, as they are milking the current national obsession with a new one-hour special called Kate: Her Story. NBC's Natalie Morales will sit down with Kate Gosselin for Kate's "most intimate interview to date." It airs Monday, and eight new episodes of Jon & Kate Plus Eight begin Nov. 9.

• Paula Found! While Nigel Lythgoe was putting out a Jesus chair for Paula Abdul on last night's So You Think You Can Dance, we tracked down Paula across town at the Rock the Casbah charity gala, where she explained: "I'm quite busy, flying all over the place. I'm getting back to my roots and being a creative soul." She then added, "Stay tuned and you will hear that announcement…You will see me on television soon."

• No Jennifer Aniston Talk Show: Despite the New York Post report that Jennifer Aniston will be doing her own weekly show on Oprah's new cable channel OWN, Jen's rep tells us: "Completely false. She has no plans for a talk show."

• New Lost Regular! Executive Producer Damon Lindelof tells USA Today: "Yeah, Lapidus is defintiely a series regular this season. Jeff Fahey was just a recurring character up through last year. Now, whether Lapidus makes it until the end of the season is anyone's guess, but he's defintely one of the A Team this year." Lindelof also says there is no premiere date yet for the new season, and it's possible the show could move from Wednesdays to another night.

Matthew in Seattle: Kristin, Did you see that Maggie Grace is returning to Lost? Was she the holdout you were talking about? It seems like she said no at first (because she was shooting movies) but now changed her mind and they are going to insert her into previously shot scenes.

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Kate Gosselin didn't sound very convincing when she told Larry King last week that she thinks her soon-to-be ex-husband Jon is a great dad "deep down." But on tonight's episode, "Dude Ranch and Dress Up," Jon scored some major parenting points.

Not only is he at ease doing projects and activities with the kids like supermom Kate, but he even went so far as to don a dress for his girls.

"No, I'm not wearing girl clothing. I'm sorry," he first protested when one of his littlest ones asked him to wear pink on the show. "I'm not putting a dress on...not on TV, not ever."

Never say never, Jon...

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On tonight's Jon & Kate Plus 8, Kate was off with the sextuplets in Bald Head Island, N.C., showing the boys a battleship and getting haircuts, while Jon was back home with the twin girls, Mady and Cara, trying to get in some quality daddy time.

But while fun was had by nine of the separated Gosselin clan, Mady clearly wasn't in the mood for play. Or was it that having divorcing parents is finally taking its toll on her?

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This week's episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8 was definitely a game changer.

Not really due to any "separation" talk—which we have certainly heard enough about for one day—or because of those supercute kids' continued frolicking on the beach with that too-tan mom of theirs.

No, tonight we learned who Jon Gosselin really is.

So who exactly is that? According to the diamond-studded bachelor dad, he's just a man who enjoys wearing Ed Hardy (or extremely blurry shirts, as the above clip demonstrates) and likes "fast things."

The catch? This is apparently who Jon has been throughout the entire series. (Hmmm, we must have missed the memo.)

"It's just the way I've always been expressing myself. Things are just coming out a lot more now," explains Gosselin. "This is who I am, and this is who I'm gonna be."

And how does he explain that bling?

"I've had my ears pierced since I was, I don't know, 15-years old. I just figured why not, just throw 'em back in. Who cares? It's a part of me." Clearly the new and very visible sideburns are simply to accentuate this new "old" Gosselin.

Seriously Jon, you're not helping your case whatsoever...

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