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Madonna's papa don't preach, but her brother sure does.

The pop icon's estranged sibling Christopher Ciccone, whom she hasn't been on voguing terms with since before he spilled some dirty beans in his 2008 memoir Life With My Sister, apparently doesn't think much of his sister's look lately.

"She looked like Rachel Zoe gone horribly wrong!" Ciccone told E! News, possibly referring to the satiny, zipped-up visage outfit Madonna was sporting Sunday night at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards.

"It proves the point that you can judge a person by the company they keep— or don't keep," Ciccone jabbed, referring to his sis' significantly younger other, Jesus Luz.

"It's painfully apparent that Jesus may be able to turn water into wine, but your basic blow-dryer eludes him."

Oh, snap. So is Ciccone implying that Madonna's rosy glow is more man-made than au naturel?

We actually couldn't care either way. So long as she keeps those arms covered up, Madonna can do whatever she wants to her face.

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Catch Madonna and many other famous faces (some newer than others) in our 2009 MTV Video Music Awards gallery.

Well, I guess we're glad to hear that there isn't any tension between the women in Eric Dane's life. The part of his life that's been steaming up the Internet, anyway.

"Rebecca and I hit it off—she's really funny, she's a really cool girl," Kari Ann Peniche exclusively tells E! News. Peniche being, of course, the third consenting adult in the non-sex tape that debuted this week, featuring her, Dane and his wife, Rebecca Gayheart, chillin' and chattin' in the buff.

"I don't know, we just had a lot of fun," the 25-year-old model and swimwear designer said when asked what the heck was going on between her and the comely star couple.

And in the spirit of just having fun, Peniche firmly denies being the person who delivered the DVD to Los Angeles police, who were informed by an unnamed source that there could be celebrities engaging in illegal activity on the tape.

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OK, obviously Jon Gosselin and Hailey Glassman are still, at the very least, very fond of partying with each other.

So what does that mean now for Kate Major, who quit her job as a Star reporter just weeks after hooking up with her interview subject and says she has never fallen for someone "so quickly"?

It probably doesn't mean anything too great, but Major exclusively tells E! News that she believes Gosselin does indeed have feelings for her...however, now just might not be the right time.

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Well, it's nice to know that Jon Gosselin isn't throwing the mother of his eight children under the bus when he's out of the public eye.

"People grow apart, people change—but as a mother he speaks very highly of her," said Kate Major, the Gosselin gal-pal who found herself christened Kate 2.0 after embarking on a whirlwind romance with the divorcing dad.

"He expressed to me how difficult it's been for him, with...media constantly surrounding him," Major said during an exclusive sit-down with E! News. "After spending a week with him straight, I pretty much can see how difficult it is."

Of course, she also talked about how difficult it's been for her since she voluntarily inserted herself into the increasingly crowded picture.

"It's been really hard," she said. "I've pretty much had to go into hiding."

That was after she was compelled to quit her job, of course.

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No one will really know what caused the sudden death of Michael Jackson until an autopsy is performed, but he at least seemed on the way toward being declared fit and ready to tour.

A source close to the production tells E! News the 50-year-old singer passed a medical exam that was required earlier this year in order for promoter AEG Live to obtain the proper insurance from Lloyd's of London for Jackson's 50-show engagement at O2 Arena, which was supposed to kick off in July.

"He passed the physical and everything was a go," the source said. Jackson had been scheduled to undergo another exam prior to his departure.

UCLA Medical Center staff confirmed earlier today that the singer's personal physician was with Jackson at his rented home in the Holmby Hills when paramedics were called sometime after noon.

Sources tell E! that Jackson had been making regular visits to a medical center in Beverly Hills in recent weeks, but it's unclear why.

Meanwhile, AEG has about $40 million riding on what may have caused the King of Pop's untimely demise, according to Billboard.

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AP Photo / Tammie Arroyo

The guy who hacked Miley Cyrus' email and lived to brag about it is still a person of interest as far as the FBI is concerned.

Agents raided Josh Holly's Tennessee apartment in October, seizing three computers, a phone and a Sony Handycam in the process.

A judge issued a warrant Jan. 15 to mine the gadgets for evidence and an FBI spokesman tells E! News that Holly, who last summer accessed one of Cyrus' old email accounts and plastered old racy pictures of her on the Web, is still under investigation.

"We're still working on it," said Special Agent Scott Augenbaum. "He hasn't been arrested."

While not in police custody, Holly has kept pretty busy hacking celebrities' MySpace accounts and spamming their "friends."

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Los Angeles police have opened an internal investigation into who illicitly leaked a close-up photograph of Rihanna's brutalized face purportedly taken after her Feb. 8 altercation with Chris Brown.

"The Los Angeles Police Department takes seriously its duty to maintain the confidentiality of victims of domestic violence," the LAPD said in a statement Thursday. The department has yet to publicly identify Rihanna as the alleged victim in Brown's case.

"A violation of this type is considered serious misconduct, with penalties up to and including termination."

The LAPD says it immediately launched an investigation after its media relations department was inundated with press inquiries about the picture, which first surfaced on TMZ.com and appeared to the cops to be a photo taken "during an official domestic violence investigation."

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Chris Brown is on the move.

The R&B star left Las Vegas' Hard Rock Hotel and Casino earlier today and was planning to meet up with his mother, Joyce Hawkins, sources tell E! News.

Hawkins lives in Virginia, but it's unclear whether Brown, who has been accused of assaulting his longtime girlfriend, Rihanna, is making the cross-country trek or will be hooking up with his mom elsewhere.

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Who wants to bet someone cried?

Judge Larry Seidlin, the Broward County, Fla., Circuit Court jurist who weepily presided over the battle pitting Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead against Anna Nicole Smith's mother, Virgie Arthur, for custody of Smith's remains, met Smith's 2-year-old daughter, Dannielynn, for the first time Friday when she and her dad surprised him during a visit to Larry King Live.

"She's a beautiful little girl and I'm glad everything is working out," Seidlin told E! News about being approached by Birkhead on the CNN talk show's set. "Larry is a great father."

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While Oprah Winfrey and Brad Pitt opted for the live version, a couple of Friends got together to watch their guy win it all via satellite.

Courteney Cox and hubby David Arquette hosted a Barack Obama victory party Tuesday night at their Beverly Hills home, E! News has learned.

Jennifer Aniston, John Mayer, Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher were among those in attendance, and the bubbly was flowing liberally (pardon the pun) as Arquette made the rounds with his guests.

"David was in such a good mood, he walked outside his gate and poured champagne for the paparazzi," one insider said.

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Robin Williams has a beef with Frank and Beans.

The veteran funnyman is suing a production company by that name for $6 million, which he says he's owed for agreeing to star in a comedy called A Couple of Dicks. (View the lawsuit.)

Per the terms of a deal Williams arrived at with Frank and Beans Productions, principal photography on the film was expected to kick off no later than April 15. The Oscar winner agreed to provide his thespian services, provided he receive $6 million in "fixed compensation," in addition to a percentage of the box office grosses and various bonuses if the receipts ever totaled $90 million, $110 million, etc.

Judging by the title alone, how could they not?!

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Good to know that security is on their toes over at the Nokia Theatre.

Los Angeles police confirm to E! News that a security breach occurred at a checkpoint near the downtown Los Angeles venue at about 3:30 p.m., just as the red carpet action was starting to pick up before the 60th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards.

According to authorities, three people who were planning to attend the ceremony were detained for questioning after guards found an aerosol rifle (similar in looks to a BB gun) in the trunk of their car at a checkpoint near the arrivals area.

"A car got past a checkpoint, and it had to be checked by the bomb squad," a law-enforcement source told E! News.

The incident prompted a 15-minute halt in the chauffeur action, as the throughway was shut down and A-listers such as Eva Longoria Parker had to ditch their rides and hoof it a short distance to the carpet, the source said.

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