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Chelsea Handler Blog: Assisting Jon Gosselin

Sat., Nov. 21, 2009 6:03 AM PST by Chelsea Handler

Jon Gosselin, Kate Major, Chelsea Handler

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Kate Major, the former Star reporter who was involved with Jon Gosselin, is attempting to sue him.

Back in June, Jon and Kate allegedly reached an "agreement" that she would work for him as his personal assistant. Kate claims Jon told her that she would earn a percentage from his accounts. Reportedly she quit her job under the assumption that she would be able to take this job.

I don't know what kind of duties a personal assistant for Jon Gosselin would have to perform, but I assume it would involve several trips to the Ed Hardy store. This alleged "contract" was written on a cocktail napkin after some sort of weekend they spent together.

I actually sort of feel sorry for Jon Gosselin. I promised to hire Chuy on a Del Taco wrapper at 3 a.m. after a magical weekend together at Sea World, and I haven't been able to get rid of him since.

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Chelsea Handler Blog: Amy Winehouse Butts In

Thu., Nov. 12, 2009 3:00 PM PST by Chelsea Handler

WENN; Todd Williamson / Getty Images

The Sun is reporting that Amy Winehouse wants to get butt implants. Apparently she is so happy with her recent boob job that she would like to spread the love to the backside. I'm assuming she's going to have to request a size that will specifically fit into her dirty bikini bottoms.

All of the encouragement she received from her friends after her boob job is reportedly making Amy want to be "curvy" again, like she was before she started drinking gasoline.

Her father is reported to really like her boob job, too, which is weird because I didn't know that Joe Simpson had another kid.

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Chelsea Handler Blog: A Very Gosselin Christmas

Thu., Nov. 12, 2009 10:45 AM PST by Chelsea Handler

Ben King/Startraksphoto.com

In an interview with PopEater, Jon Gosselin talked about the holidays. He said that he'd be spending Christmas with his kids and Kate. He explained that those are joint custody days, so they are all forced to be together. He said that he plans to buy all of his gifts online—I'm assuming from an Ed Hardy store and always taking up the free gift-wrapping offer. He plans on asking his landscapers not to rake all of the leaves so that the kids can make a couple of piles and jump on them. I'm sure he'll have the kids bag those up when they're finished with what sounds like a terrible game. He also likes to make apple crisp, so he's going to let the kids pick apples for him and then he'll whip that up.

He called all of this tradition, but I call it child slavery. The only part of the story that I didn't think sounded awful was when he said Kate makes "sticky buns."

That phrase always makes me giggle.

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For more that'll make you giggle, check out Chelsea Handler's blog.