Frank Masi/New Line Cinema

We already know that scene-stealer cutie Rob Corddry is incredibly funny. Hello, The Daily Show. And he's my personal favorite character in the basketball comedy Semi-Pro, which is really saying something when the cast includes Will Ferrell and Woody Harrelson. So, naturally, I accost him on the carpet at the movie's premiere.

And don't you know it, we wind up talking about three of my favorite subjects: masturbation, George Bush and Roger Clemens. Oh, and side note: Corddry and American Pie hero Jason Biggs (see my recent interview here) appear together in the upcoming Lower Learning. And coincidentally, Corddry and Biggs have both, um, indulged onscreen. So, of course, one wonders...

Who would win in a jerk-off contest, you or Jason Biggs?
That's so funny. I would like to formally, right now, challenge Jason Biggs to a masturbation contest.

Well, how should we judge the winner?
I guess it would be like, who looks best doing it? Who has the best masturbation face?

Like a beauty pageant—with different categories!
I imagine I look pretty good doing it. I'm very self-conscious.

We get to see that tonight. You have quite the masturbating scene in this movie.
Thanks. You're making me nervous.

Okay, new subject. Roger Clemens. You following this delicious saga?
Well, following it in that I watch some of the testimony. Really, I'm just confused as to why Congress is involved. No one's asking that question. What are you guys doing here? Bush mentioned it in the State of the Union a few years ago, and we're stuck with it now. See, I think that's Bush's biggest mistake, not the war. The baseball!

Jun Sato/WireImage.com

Don't tell anyone. It's not a done deal yet, but I'm told the man who makes our hearts beat fast, aka Johnny Depp, is very close to signing on to an adaptation of Robert C. Wilson's gripping novel Crooked Tree.

The book has been described as Jaws meets The Exorcist. And that's accurate, if you also throw in Poltergeist. Yes, it's a dreamy, terrifying blend. Bears attack. A woman is possessed. Native American folklore is key. The book is riveting, I tell you.

Depp is a big fan of the book, a source tells E! Online, and he would be playing Axel Michelson, the husband of the woman who becomes possessed. Sounds good to me, and he'd better sign up already—Jeff Daniels, a close friend of the author, is also in the mix.

What do you think? Sound like a good fit for Johnny? Or is it time he does something, like, light 'n' fluffy? Sound off in the Comments.

Steve Granitz/WireImage.com

So, I'm standing on the revolving bar at the premiere of Semi-Pro. This is easily one of the best studio-sponsored parties ever, with '70s-style basketballs and Woody Harrelson and posse kicking back and having a grand time, playing pool. He's great, by the way. Toward the end of the night, Andy Richter (who appears in the movie) tries to take a basketball with him and gets denied, yet my sassy plus-one manages to sneak her ball past the guards.

Anyhow, lo and behold, here comes McLovin, aka Chris Mintz-Plasse, and two adorable cronies. Who wouldn't practically grab him and force him onto the revolving bar? (This kid is a pro—he's having a Coke.) As you might know, Defamer recently called out the Superbad sidekick and worried that he is en route to becoming the Vote for Pedro guy from Napoleon Dynamite. Well, Chris ain't worried about that. Read on:

So, the Defamer item. Do you think the Vote for Pedro guy is passing the "that guy" torch your way?
I mean, he did a movie with Jack Black after that, right? So, that's good.

Absolutely.
I'm starting a movie with Jack Black in two days. And then I have another movie coming out with Paul Rudd. So, I guess I'm completely different than the Vote for Pedro guy. Is he doing anything right now?

Um, I know he goes out a lot.
Hopefully, I have a longer lasting career. That's all I have to say. It's up to you fans to keep watching me.

You get much career advice from Judd Apatow et al.?
No, I'm just really picky myself with scripts. I'm only picking really funny stuff.

After Superbad, does anything even seem funny?
[Laughs.] No! But I gotta work.

First, check out this video rant that just posted over on YouTube. Now, it is possible that Be Kind Rewind director Michel Gondry was a huge fan of Amanda Bynes' Nickelodeon sketch show, The Amanda Show. It is possible he has watched every single episode at least a dozen times. It is also possible he has never heard of Bynes or her show and that this video—which has a very similar conceit to the Jack Black flick out this week—is merely a coincidence, something Bynes and Gondry will laugh about when they meet up at Starbucks and wind up hanging out for hours.

(A request for comment from New Line was not immediately returned.) 

Yep, anything really is possible. But I think this is just a coincidence. I mean, come on. This is Gondry, the guy who made Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. And Be Kind is so personal that it just can't be a rip-off. But conspiracy theories are fun. Maybe it's possible that this YouTuber has cracked the Secret Bynes Code of Hollywood, wherein all modern films can be traced back to a sketch from the '90s. Hee-hee. What do you think? Sound off in Comments.

Paramount Vantage

The Contenders:

• George Clooney, Michael Clayton
• Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood
• Johnny Depp, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
• Tommy Lee Jones, In the Valley of Elah
• Viggo Mortensen, Eastern Promises

Reel Girl Caroline Kepnes Says:  Daniel Day-Lewis...yaaaawwn

Unknown

As it turns out, the sexiest category is also the least exciting. We can thank Day-Lewis for that. His milkshake-spewing bravado in There Will Be Blood will surely earn him another Academy Award this Sunday. Bet on him. You won't win much money because everyone in the world will bet on him, but at least you'll be right.

I'm not gonna say much, realizing that some of you there would have to be tied down, Hostel-style, with your eyes forced open by toothpicks in order to watch the original Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, enjoyably dorky and mall-ratty as it is.

Point is this: Sisterhood 2 reunites all the original BFFs—America Ferrera, Blake Lively, Alexis Bledel and Amber Tamblyn—and it's fun to imagine how weird it will be at this premiere. What with Ferrera an Ugly sensation and Lively now a biggie on Gossip Girl.

Oh, nonsense, I have no doubt these young women are all totally supportive of one another on every possible level and thus immune to feelings of envy. Hee-hee.

Regardless, this Sisterhood looks just as good as, if not better than, the original. Plus, new boy Jesse Williams totally fits the cute-but-slightly-dangerous mold. Suddenly, I am excited for the summer, and I have a feeling I am not alone. What do you think? Sound off in Comments!

Dale Wilcox/WireImage.com

Take that, Julie Christie! AARP's Movies for Grown-Ups Awards is, hands down, one of the most exciting nights of the year here in Los Angeles. This year, Jamie Lee Curtis had to drop out from her cohosting duties at the last second because of a bad cold, but Desperate Housewife star Dana Delany was game to step in—very game. She totally kept up with funnyman John Cleese.

Andrea Raso/ZUMAPress.com

She also talked to me about the Oscars. "I'd love to see Marion Cotillard win," she said, in this very doubtless manner. "La Vie en Rose was amazing." Dana's a straight shooter—not a phony-baloney bone in her body.

After all, a mere few feet away, Away from Her's Christie, the favored nominee, was roaming around, accepting compliments, looking ridiculously gorgeous and making all the women feel insecure—women of all ages, mind you. And mark my word, Cotillard is becoming somewhat of a front-runner—people love this woman's work. Delany is hardly alone.

Also fun was Old Hollywood stalwart Martin Landau. We had a cigarette together—yes, he lit mine; he is a gentleman—and he raved about Ellen Page's work. He likes all the nominees, of course, but like the rest of the world, he's excited to see what Page does next, etc. (P.S.: Thank goodness it isn't Diablo Cody's Jennifer's Body, which people were whispering about and calling "way too self-involved." Ouch.)

Anyhow, Landau did concede that Crimes and Misdemeanors, my personal favorite of his, is special. "They don't make 'em like that anymore," he sighed. Amen, brother.

Forget Valentine's Day. Today is International Harrison Ford Appreciation Day, as Indiana Jones is back in a big way. I've watched the trailer, just out today, three times. It's just sooo thrilling to wait for that rousing score to kick in, and I even like that tribute paid to all of Indy's previous journeys. Bye-bye, Nazis. Hello, dusty fedora. (Get more details in our news story.)

And what about the jokes, people? His vision is going. He deadpans, which isn't as easy as it used to be. For a minute there, I thought this was Grumpiest Old Men: The New Class. Alas, no—stuff is blowing up, cars are driving into jungle traps, etc. The good news is that Indy seems to be dealing with aliens—you catch that Roswell crate? (Or maybe not.) The better news is that Shia LeBeouf is so not the star...at least in the trailer.

After all, this is Harrison Ford Appreciation Day. And every guy over the age of 50 should dig up some khakis and walk into the world with a new swagger.

What do you think? Does this hero still have it? Vote below and sound off in Comments!

Daniele Venturelli/WirEImage.com

This time around, Renée Zellweger will be a '50s mom, and not the June Cleaver type, thank God. She will become the woman who gave birth to George Hamilton for My One and Only. Campy, yummy stuff. The movie's based on a story George once told about how his mom used to trot him and his brother all over the eastern seaboard in pursuit of a rich guy. Oh, Renée, you will have so much fun with this.

And more important, this woman seems inexorably drawn toward period pieces. The 1920s? Check (Leatherheads with George Clooney). Depression era? Check (Cinderella Man). The 1940s? Check (Down with Love). You get my drift. So...

Stephen Vaughn / SMPSP, Scott Suchman/WireImage.com

In a movie, people. She wants to shoot someone...in a movie.

See, the lack of strong roles for women in Hollywood was just one of the subjects that got Reese Witherspoon all revved up when talking to us this weekend about the movie she produced and appears in, Penelope.

It's a darling fairy tale about a girl (Christina Ricci) with a pig nose. And Reese wanted Christina from the get-go—the two grew up together on the audition circuit. Aw! (And just a quick side note: Things she did not discuss with us include (a) the passing of Heath Ledger and (b) the man she is often photographed with, Jake Gyllenhaal.)

So, oh well, back to shooting people.

Here's what she said about shoot-'em-up movies wherein the leading man gets to take down the bad guy. "Why does the guy get to shoot him? I want the girl to shoot him!" she said, laughing intermittently. "I love watching Angelina Jolie kick ass in Mr. & Mrs. Smith, and I can't wait to see her in Wanted. I would love to shoot someone. In the knee cap or something, just to stop them!"

I'm all for it. You listen to this woman talk and think to yourself, she was Tracy Flick in Election and Elle Woods in Legally Blonde. She can do anything.

What do you think? Is grabbin' a gun such a good move for our blond friend, or is it a wrong turn? Sound off in Comments!

Contra Costa Newspapers/Kristopher Skinner/ZUMAPress.com, Paramount Vantage

•  "I see dead people."
•  "You can't handle the truth!"
•  "Vote for Pedro."
•  "Show me the money!"

These are movie quotes. Real movie quotes. The kind of lines that ride the zeitgeist to the point where your grandmother is on the phone giggling that she found a motherf--king snake in the motherf--king yard.

This last year was, let's be honest, limp in the catchphrase department. And the proof is in a rash of recent articles—first USA Today and then Entertainment Weekly—wherein media professionals declare the quote of the year to be..."I drink your milkshake."

What's that? You've never heard anybody say that?

You don't even know what it's from? It's a line uttered, with intense and earnest malice, by Daniel Day-Lewis in There Will Be Blood. (See clip below.) Right, because you didn't see that and because nobody actually says, "I drink your milkshake."

This is total bunk.

E.T. is so not phoning home to anyone and yelling "I drink your milkshake!" So, let's try to fix things in the Comments. Am I wrong? Is "milkshake" really on the rise? Or are there any quotes from 2007 movies that did get you running your mouth?

Regent Releasing

Hey, Jessica Alba, when it comes to talking serious about yourself, you might want to take notes from Paris Hilton, who got very serious about hair color and acting lessons at the junket for The Hottie and the Nottie. Now, that's power: transforming a junket into Inside the Actor's Studio. Well done, girl.

Paris Is Deeply Misunderstood:  "I think a lot of people see me from the The Simple Life. I've been doing that show for five seasons, and it's a reality show. People think that is really how I am. It's not, though. I've been working with Ivana Chubbuck, who is an incredible acting coach, and I worked very hard for this. Now they will take me seriously."

Yes, now we will forget the stint in jail, the sex tape, the wig changes, the cheeseburger commercial...all of it—poof—gone. Actually, this is America. It could happen...

Depth of Character Is All About Hair Color and Eye Color:  "I just did a movie [Repo! The Genetic Opera] with Darren Lynn Bousman, who directed the Saw films. And Paul Sorvino plays my father, and Sarah Brightman plays my nemesis. It's a musical horror film, and I'm never blond in the movie at all. I always have different hair, different eyes. You could never tell it's me in every scene."

She Is Really Spreading her Wings:  "[In Repo!] I play Amber Sweet, she's the daughter of the guy who owns the company, and she's a little demented and crazy. She's obsessed with plastic surgery, always changing the way she looks, because she wants to get all this approval."

Gosh, no wonder Paris relies on her acting coaches. Amber Sweet sounds, like, so different!