kimkardashian.celebuzz.com

• If Kim Kardashian didn't have her glam squad and all day to groom herself, she might look like the above photo. You can thank E!'s own show Secret Celebrity for giving you a glimpse into an alternate universe.

• It's highly possible you're on Robert Pattinson overload right now, but if you don't believe such a thing could ever exist, Vanity Fair released more outtakes.

• Today, in Michael Lohan's quest to help destroy Lindsay, he releases a tape of Dina talking about their daughter cutting herself. There just aren’t enough ughs for this guy.

 • A behind-the-scenes look at Lady Gaga's epic "Bad Romance" music video? Yes, please!

• This is for Veteran's Day.

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Is that a horse's ass in our Big Pic? Yes, yes it is.

US Weekly; Life and Style

It's just one of those weeks in gossip. The Gosselins are behaving themselves relatively well and the Robsten holding hands thing came out too late for tabloid covers. Good thing there's always Angelina Jolie to fall back on.

This week she's apparently a lying, cheating phony who's playing mind games with Jen and adopting a seventh child. Yay, it's just like old times, with no Gosselin in sight! Sure, Levi Johnston's still making cover appearances, but that's fine.

Now, let’s get to it and see what's going on with our favorite tabloid queen...

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INFphoto.com

Rihanna and Chris Brown's promotional schedules may have curiously collided in the past, but this is just getting ridiculous.

Last month, Rihanna released her highly anticipated comeback single, "Russian Roulette." Brown chose the same day to announce his tour plans, which he followed up, two days later, by releasing his new single, "Crawl."

Then last week, Rihanna sat down with Diane Sawyer for an emotional and revelatory two-day interview. Brown answered the appearance as best the ratings-poison singer could, spilling his own oft-repeated secrets in a same-day interview on MTV.

Well, get ready for a shock: Rihanna's music video has long been set to premiere on 20/20 this Friday. And in what can only be described as a shameless piggybacking publicity ploy coincidence, guess who else decided that a musical return to the airwaves was also in order?

Brown has been booked on Friday's Wendy Williams Show, where he will both chat (though probably not much) with the hostess and premiere the not-nearly-as-anticipated music video for his single. But while Rihanna has offered no clues on what we can expect from her video, Brown has given fans a few sneak peeks, having already released promotional pictures of himself and Cassie on set.

But, credit where it's due, one thing Brown has managed to do all on his own is stay on top of the terms of his probation.

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Kevin Mazur/Getty Images

Why are Australian newspapers trying to rain on Britney Spears' parade circus?

Last weekend, Oz's Daily Telegraph published a story about the pop tart's recent concerts, accusing her of lip-syncing and claiming fans were unhappy and called her boring.

The show's promoter said the star was aware of the reviews and "extremely upset by it." Now, all these days later, she's "upset" enough to release an official comment.

"I hear there is a lot of controversy in the media about my show," she said in a statement to the Agence France Presse. "Some reporters have said they love it and some don't. I came to Australia for my fans!"

Those priorities sound right on point, except for the fact that her lip service neglects to address the actual issue at hand: the lip-syncing.

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Get a load of Britney Spears' Circus Spectacular right here.

DreamWorks; NibarikiGNDHDDT/Disney; Disney/Pixar; Twentieth Century Fox

Now here's a Balloon Boy Hollywood can really get behind. As expected, Up leads the record 20 eligible films for the Best Animated Feature Oscar at the 82nd Academy Awards.

Disney-Pixar's latest instant-classic, which is also aspiring for a Best Picture nod, seems a lock for one of the five animation slots when the nominations are announced on Feb. 2.

Jockeying for the other four will be intense. Japanese master and previous Academy Award winner Hayao Miyazaki hopes for some Oscar bait with the acclaimed hand-drawn Ponyo, about a goldfish who wants to be a little girl.

But he'll need to ward off a slew of big-budget, big-box-office, big-studio submissions, including DreamWorks Animation's Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs and Monsters vs. Aliens, 20th Century Fox's Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, Universal's stop-motion creepfest Coraline, and a couple other Disney efforts: the Jim Carrey-powered A Christmas Carol and the Mouse House's  return to traditional hand-drawn fare, The Princess and the Frog, due out Dec. 11.

Another forthcoming film that has a shot is Fantastic Mr. Fox, quirkmeister Wes Anderson's first foray into animation, a stop-motion adaptation of the Roald Dahl featuring voice work by George Clooney and Meryl Streep.

Get the complete list of qualifying films after the jump.

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Eric Charbonneau/Getty Images

We'll cut right to the chase: Nicolas Cage was once stalked by a mime. Yes, that kind of mime. And yeah, that sounded about right to us, too.

While other terrorized celebrities follow the tried-and-true formula of being menaced by the more traditional knife- and duct tape-wielding crazies, leave it to Cage to break from the mainstream, even when it comes to unwanted pursuers.

"I guess it would fall into the stalker category more or less," the financially ruined actor told Parade of his nearly 10-year-old encounter.

"I was being stalked by a mime—silent, but maybe deadly. Somehow, this mime would appear on the set of Bringing Out the Dead and start doing strange things."

Stranger, presumably, than walking headfirst into invisible gale-force winds, unpeeling transparent bananas or attempting to make his way out of an imaginary box.

"I have no idea how it got past security. Finally, the producers took some action and I haven't seen the mime since. But it was definitely unsettling."

It's probably safe to assume the mime would have no comment on the incident. Or, you know, any incident.

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Granted it's a sliding scale, but Cage would probably prefer this type of headline to the sort he's been generating lately.

Bennett Raglin/WireImage.com, Jim Spellman/WireImage.com

He may wear a boa and make his living (kinda sorta) beating people up, but Hulk Hogan is a sensitive man.

During his drama-filled divorce from Linda, he reached such a low point, he was downright suicidal.

"I actually believed in my heart that oath you make, 'til death do us part, for better or worse," he explains to E!'s Daily 10. "I actually believed everybody was on that page. It blew my mind, never been hit that hard."

One night, he "emotionally lost it," he says, and even pulled out a gun. Out of nowhere, the phone rang. It was his friend and American Gladiators cohost Laila Ali, and she pulled him from the abyss.

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