Forget Johnny Depp, Wendy Williams Endorses Sinister Sexuality of Joel McHale

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The judicious tastemakers at People magazine may have crowned Johnny Depp the Sexiest Man Alive, but your very own Joel McHale walked away with the Sexiest Troublemaker award this year.

Meaning when he has sex he causes trouble?

Anyway, the honor captured the attention of none other than Wendy Williams, who believes that troublemakers should get spanked.

Which is somehow a less-than-savory visual.

But don't worry, there's plenty of full-on savory action tonight at 10 p.m. ET/PT on your red-hot Soup.

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And until then, feast your eyes on more Joel McHale!

Johnny Depp Really the Sexiest? You Beg to Differ

Hugh Jackman, Alexander Sarsgard, Ryan Reynolds, Robert Pattinson, Johnny Depp Jun Sato/Getty Images; Jason LaVeris/Getty Images; Todd Williamson/Getty Images; Charley Gallay/Getty Images; Jon Furniss/Getty Images

Apparently, you're not really feelin' Johnny Depp.

Based on your numerous comments and clicks on our poll this morning, many of you agree with People's pick for Sexiest Man Alive, but a majority of you would have gone in a different direction.

Well, we hear you loud and clear...and you're not alone.

"I'm a bit surprised," a taken-aback America's Next Top Model judge "Miss J" Alexander told us at the VH1 Save the Music Big Shopping event at the W Hotel Times Square this afternoon.

We read what you had to say about this hot-button issue and tallied your first choices (yeah, we're that scientific from time to time). We're not going to lie—you surprised us.

Your hottest hottie, by a landslide, is...

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People's Sexiest Man Alive = Rob Ryan Johnny Depp

Johnny Depp, People Magazine, Sexiest Man Alive People

Hugh Jackman, it's time to pass the baton.

Johnny Depp has been named People's 2009 Sexiest Man Alive.

He joins Brad Pitt and George Clooney as only the third to earn this prestigious title for a second time—Captain Jack Sparrow won in 2003 as well.

Too bad most guessers in the Twitterverse were completely offtrack. The magazine offered clues over the past few days, promising the man on the stands would have roots in a foreign country, has proposed at least once and was taller than Ryan Seacrest. All signs pointed to Robert Pattinson or Ryan Reynolds.

But the magazine tends to choose an older, more established star, and the 46-year-old definitely still has it goin' on.

The issue goes on sale Friday.

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Not enough hotness for you this morning? Here's 10 Guys We Crave.

Levi Johnston Keeping His Johnson to Himself

Levi Johnston Playgirl.com

UPDATE: The fine folks at Playgirl.com have offered this image of the hockey boy in the shower. No sticks, though—just hairy pits.

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Levi Johnston must be more bashful than we thought.

After all the hype, the father to Sarah Palin's grandson won't be giving Playgirl the full monty. What a tease!

"[Levi] did not give 'full frontal' as his manager Tank [Jones] reported he would," Daniel Nardicio, a spokesman for Playgirl, told the New York Daily News.

However, the rep does promise minor peeks at Bristol Palin's ex's goodies and that the overall, ahem, package is sure to please.

"We're thrilled with the photos we got, and are confident people will love them, but although there may be glimpses, we did not get full on frontal nudity."

So much for that "aspiring porn" career! Sounds like there may be one less thing to talk about at the Palin family Thanksgiving dinner table.

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There was no nudity (or even a moon) on the New Moon red carpet, but everyone looked hot nonetheless.

Nicole Kidman's Bra Cup Runneth Over—Briefly

Nicole Kidman Frederick Breedon/Getty Images
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You'd think Nicole Kidman has it all.

The joyous parenting union with country hitmaker Keith Urban. The spotlight-free life in bucolic Nashville. The film career that keeps on giving.

But yet the gifted lady admits she is lacking in one department.

Boobs.

Until she was nursing daughter Sunday, at least, when the hormone fairy granted her breast wishes.

"They're not very big, my boobs, so they just became normal size," Kidman revealed to Ladies' Home Journal. "I loved it! I felt very Woman. When you've had a slightly androgynous body your whole life, having breasts is a nice feeling."

Presumably Keith goes along with that. 

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See Nicole's peaks...and lows in this Fashion Spotlight gallery.

Poll: New Moon vs. News of Water on the Moon

Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner Kevin Winter/Getty Images

The discovery of significant amounts of water on the moon a few days ago was a key moment in the history of space exploration. But we're guessing there's a different kind of New Moon info that's more likely to send you into orbit, what with Monday's big Twilight sequel premiere in Los Angeles and all.

Which got us to thinking, do icy moon rocks rock your world, or do you favor icy-hot vampires? OK, we've got a pretty good guess which way you're leaning on this, but let's keep things scientific and you tell us in the poll below.

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Taste the frenzy as it builds with our New Moon: World Tour Madness gallery.

Twilight Mastermind Stephenie Meyer: Robert Pattinson Looks Like the Edward in My Head

Stephenie Meyer, Oprah Winfrey Steve Granitz/Getty Images; AP Photo/Chris Pizzello

Just as he has with so many other women, Robert Pattinson has become a full-fledged citizen of Stephenie Meyer's fantasy world.

The usually press-shy author who gave life to Bella, Edward, Jacob and a billion-dollar media phenomenon told Oprah Winfrey today that R.Pattz and his unique and "significantly featured" face brought her visions of Edward to life.

"I knew that the problem was going to be Edward, because he's the perfect vampire," Meyer said in what will be her only formal interview before New Moon hits theaters Nov. 20. "How do you cast that from your pool of human actors?"

But Pattinson "doesn't look like everybody else," she said. "There's something unusual. There are moments where he looks exactly like he did in my head." 

As for the role of Bella, "there's plenty of people who look like the girl next door. We were really lucky with Kristen Stewart, who is a phenomenal actress."

And the rest is history.

History wrought by a dream that Meyer, a first-time author who had never tried to publish anything, just happened to have.

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Is Posing Nude Ever a Good Idea for Famous Guys?

Brian Austin Green, Keith Urban, Playgirl Magazine, Levi Johnston Playgirl Magazine, Jesse Grant/Getty Images
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What could Levi Johnston possibly gain by posing naked for Playgirl?
—Babs G., via the Answer B!tch inbox

You mean besides money and the eternal high that comes with making Sarah Palin miserable? As the Jews might say, dayenu, that would have been enough.

For women, there are tons of reasons for posing nude: Sharon Stone said she did it for money right after appearing in Total Recall. It sure didn't hurt, given that she later went on to do stuff like Basic Instinct and Casino. We won't even begin to discuss the ongoing successes of The Girls Next Door.

But when it comes to guys who pose in adult mags, there are, generally, only two types: (1) Unknowns who, if the ploy works, graduate to sort-of knowns, and (2) bona fide celebrities who stir up noncontroversies by posing only partly in the buff.

That latter category includes a major country star married to an A-list actress, and a former teen star who has been linked to Megan Fox...

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Would You Like to Be a Porn Star Now, Carrie Prejean?

Carrie Prejean, Miss California Frederick Breedon/Getty Images

Hey, if everyone's seen you naked anyway...

Prominent porn studio Vivid Entertainment has re-extended its $1 million offer to ex-Miss California USA Carrie Prejean to star in an adult film, hopeful that she'd be more receptive to the idea now that they know it's not a matter of her being too shy to strip for the camera.

And timing is everything.

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Jessica Alba: "I Never Feel Sexy"

Jessica Alba Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images
More from Marc Malkin

She's one of Hollywood's hottest moms, but that doesn't mean Jessica Alba thinks so.

"I never feel sexy," the starlet, 28, confessed at last night's party for celeb photographer Mark Liddell's new book, Exposed: 10 years in Hollywood. "I never do, and that's the truth."

Not even during a glam-squad-covered photo shoot?

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Taylor Lautner Wears a Shirt on Men's Health Cover—What's Wrong With This Picture?

Taylor Lautner, Mens Health Men's Health

Since when did Men's Health feature guys in shirts?

We thought the whole point of the mag was for ladies to drool and men to get jealous enough to buy a copy so they can learn how to make their ladies drool.

So why, pray tell, would Taylor Lautner, New Moon's resident Shirtless Sherman, be all buttoned up on the cover of the lad mag—especially since the article tells the tale of how a 140-pound 17-year-old built all the muscle to hold on to the part of Jacob Black.

It's not because those Twilighters are afraid of nudity—Christian Serratos proved that yesterday. And Lautner told us this weekend that he's not done disrobing, so that can't be the reason.

Clothed or not, Tay-Tay still looks adorable, especially when he covers up those filthy shirts with a leather jacket and does one of his big jumping tricks. We like those. We just like them better shirtless.

See more stunts and dirty shirt after the jump!

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Leighton Meester Gets Us Hot and Bothered

She may not have a sex tape, but Leighton Meester's new "Somebody to Love" music video sure makes us wish the Gossip Girl star had one.

After all, the sight of the scantily dressed actress singing seductively into the camera, writhing around in the back of a limo and crawling on all fours in a hotel room is pretty freakin' hot.

Throw a little French in there to boot and, well, we haven't been this turned on since we heard Angelina Jolie talking in Russian.

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See who else gets our attention by wearing next to nothing in our No Pants, No Problem gallery.

The Big Picture

If You Could See Her Now... Fun activities aboard the Oasis of the Seas cruise ship include macramé and a Rihanna concert!

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