The Awful Truth

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Dear Ted:
Who does Miley Cyrus think she is these days? First, claiming she's never heard a Jay-Z song and that she doesn't listen to pop music? And now, I've read reports that she is dissing the Twilight series. Based on the quotes it seems like she is going out of her way to alienate her own fan base. What's her deal, and will her fans continue to be loyal if she keeps it up?
—C

Dear Mouthy Miley:
Please, this letter is exactly what she wants! Since not everyone is focusing on all Miley all the time, she needs to stir up some trouble. Leave those kinda comments to Megan Fox; Miles, she does it way better.

Dear Ted:
I was just looking through People's Sexiest Man issue. How many of the drool-worthy guys pictured in that issue are something other than hetero? Adam Lambert is one, so two or three? Four? More than five? Or would it be easier and less litigious for me to ask you which ones are straight as an arrow?
—Sebastiadams

Dear Yummy Edition:
People's (Out) Gayest Men Alive just wouldn't really sell, now would it?

Dear Ted:
What's the deal with Peter Facinelli and Kellan Lutz? Are they just friends or do they have some hidden secrets? Any goss to share on them?
—Kym

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Dear Ted:
Celebrities may or not be "fair game," but Scientology is a religion practiced by millions of housewives, lawyers, students, firemen, doctors and bricklayers, who say it helps them lead happier lives. Maybe it shouldn't be casually slimed in a gossip column.
—John Carmichael

Dear Slime Away:
Thanks to Tom Cruise, and his surprising spiral, it's hard to take anything he backs all that seriously.

Dear Ted:
In Ian Halperin's book on Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, he says that Angie and her team waged a mean-spirited campaign against Jennifer Aniston and planted stories to the media about how Jen didn't want kids, etc. Do you think this is true? I mean, it wouldn't shock me, Angie does seem to me a manipulative witch and I can see her doing this, just wanted your thoughts. Come on, Ted, please tell me that Angie hasn't changed at all and this "Mother Teresa" persona she wants us all to believe is one big old act!
—Anc

Dear Bitchalina:
Whether Brange planted stories or not, some of those are in fact true. And hell, no, A.J.'s totally saintly, now, don't you know?

Dear Ted:
Stop trying to make Ashley Greene-Kellan Lutz happen. They are not happening for the fans, it's obvious. You refer to her and Jackson Rathbone as ex flames, are they still friends though?
—Bella

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If you're an avid A.T. reader, you know we adore George Clooney. Pretty sure he's in most of Team Awful's top fives.

But lately, the George has not been the age-defying god we fell in love with. Let us explain...

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Valerie Macon/Getty Images; Daniele Venturelli/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
I just heard that James Franco was going to appear on General Hospital! WTF? Guess he wants to seriously tank his career. Soaps are something you do in the beginning of your career when you're starving, naive and stupid. Then you can say "Oh, I was starving, naive and stupid." But after you've had some success, there is no excuse, dude! Talk about poor career choices...then all you can say is, "Yeah, my career is seriously f--ked, so I figure even something this damn sad won't hurt it more!" Well...yeah, it can and will.
—H

Dear Don't Get It:
Franco made it clear a long time ago he marches to a professional beat: It's why we love him; you should, too. He certainly had the guts to take on playing Sean Penn's lover in Milk, not to mention going back to school instead of whoring himself out to every event he could in Hollywood. Franco does what he wants and he wants to have fun. Let him.

Dear Ted:
You make me soooo mad sometimes! I'm positive you respect women, so why do you constantly defend George Clooney?! He does not respect women. Does not! All the charities he attaches himself to cannot change the fact that he does not respect women. He's immature and selfish. Nothing classy about using women and throwing them away, after they have been brutalized by the press, as a direct result of his actions. I used to be a fan; now I'd like to give him a swift kick in the a**.
—Miss P

Dear Scorning George:
While I agree George could do with a little class in the girl-searching department, all of these ladies know exactly what they're entering into when they go out with G.C. And most of them have no problem milking their fame after—it's worth it to them, too.

Dear Ted:
What's wrong with everyone? What in the hell do Rob and Kristen have to do to prove to the world that they are a couple? I've never had sex with my guy in front of my friends, but I'm pretty sure they know we're together! WTF!
—Bubbley

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Dear Ted:
About your recent comments on Jennifer Aniston not acting her age: What would you do if your man left you for a younger and much hotter lover? Maybe she's hung up on keeping up? The other thing is that maybe Jennifer never had better taste in men. Wasn't Brad Pitt a totally irritating wannabe like John Mayer many years ago? Maybe Aniston likes 'em young and fame whoring. Lastly, can you be more specific about what exactly happened between her and Pitt? Much love and hugs for the breakup.
—O-girl

Dear Two's a Crowd:
I think Braniston fell into an unhealthy routine-like marriage—when you get bored, there's sure to be trouble lurking around the corner. Especially when she's big lipped, dark haired and has a body you'd kill for (at least back in the Mr. and Mrs. Smith days). Also, ultimately Brad and Jen had extremely different interests, never a good combo.

Dear Ted:
Screw all these pretty boys you seem so in love with. Let's discuss a real man. Robert Pattinson has nothing on Jon Hamm. Any secrets we should know about him?
—Hasulliv

Dear Hamm Sandwich:
Oh, honey, we are all fans of Jon Hamm here at the A.T. He's the Robert Pattinson of his generation, even if Jon disagrees. As for dirt on Jon, we're so working on it. Heard some interesting rumors 'bout him. We're digging.

Dear Ted:
You are probably going crazy with the need to reassure Robsten fans that Rob and Kristen Stewart are still going strong, and yet, here I am, another worried fan. The last two to three weeks we have seen R.P. on his own at parties and dinners, no K.S. in sight (other than the VMAs, which was work). I know you have said they are both independent, not needing to be with each other all the time, but please, can you just once again let us know they are together and strong and happy? Any maybe give us a clue as to one example of their togetherness lately?
—Worried & Definitely Obsessive

Dear Reading Too Much Into It:
We've hardly seen Rob out on his own a lot. He spends most of his time in seclusion with a certain costar. And they are both perfectly fine about that.

Dear Ted:
I want to know what's up with Ashley Greene and Xavier Samuels?
—callet1990

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Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images; Jason LeVeris/Getty Images

Dear Ted:
Perez just had a story up that Alexander Skarsgård was seen in Shreveport, La., where he's filming a movie, with Evan Rachel Wood and that the two have been dating since they met on the set of True Blood. Say it ain't so!
—TMT

Dear Match Made in Hell:
Team Awful is gagging as much as you are. We love our A.S. untainted—so not feeling this pairing. The term dating is used so loosely now, but yes, we hear something is "going on" between the two. Nothing like Robsten, though. 

Dear Ted:
If you had watched the video of the person who called Kristen a bitch, you would have seen she did after they had already entered the car and were driving off. What's Rob suppose to do at that point, jump out the window? Is the photo op that Summit put on what you are referring to when you say Kristen hung out with Nikki Reed and Paris Latsis? Did you notice at the end they parted ways and Kristen was walking alone? It would not surprise me if Kristen did the photo op so she could have 24-hour leave to go to the concert with Rob, per Summit.
– Arabella 

Dear Keeping Up With Robsten:
What, you don't want to see Rob defend his gal's honor? Where there's an amorous will, there's always a way.

Dear Ted:
Why do people refer to Reese Witherspoon as the "beard"?
—Chin

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Big Australia/Flynet

Ted Casablanca is traveling this week and mail is being tackled by Team Awful—so try us!

Dear Awful Truth:
Haven't heard much from you about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes lately. Standing in line at the supermarket, I see headlines saying they fought like crazy when he visited in Australia. Those mags say there is trouble in paradise. What do you hear?
—Cat Mommy in Texas

Dear Didgeridoomed:
But then you must have read the alternate stories, right? The ones that said that when Tom was Stateside, Katie kept it low-key, and when he visited in Oz, she was suddenly a photog sweetheart and happier than ever? There's no trouble in paradise, necessarily—maybe there was just no paradise to begin with. Think about that one for a minute.

Dear Awful Truth:
What causes a person to take nude pictures of themselves? I mean, if you're a celebrity of some sort, wouldn't it be foolish to do that? There's a high probability that someone will get a hold of the pictures and sell them to tabloids or something.
—Amont

Dear Duh:
And for some celebs, that high probability you speak of is exactly why pictures are taken. And released. And then oh-so-innocently denied. But hey, I'm not naming names...

Dear Awful Truth:
Has Terry Tush-Trade ever worked with Luke Grimes?
—Imqaatdbru

Dear Grime Time:
If that's a veiled attempt at guessing that Michael Welch is T3, then you, sir, should be coyer next time. And nope, it's not Mikey. (Haven't we already told you that?)

Dear Awful Truth:
Hey! Jackie Bouffant has to be either Chris Pine or Zachary Quinto! Both of them are hot right now, both have beards on their faces and both have had figurative beards. So which one is he?
—Andrew

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Courtesy of Palms Casino Resort

George Clooney has been spotted with another "girlfriend" over in Italy. New name (Elisabetta Canalis), but exact same type: brunette, thin, relatively unknown and many years his junior.

We dig the perpetual bachelor schtick as much as everyone else, but we would love to see Georgie mix it up a bit. Sure, there's the occasional blonde or superstar thrown in G.C.'s dating mix, but the silver, dimpled dude likes his girls dark but untainted.

So we're taking a look back at George's former flings and asking the question to you all: Where should he go from here? Ya dig him single and sexy, or should he settle down, already?

Behold! The most notable of his myriad madcap affairs in the Women of George Clooney gallery.

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BTF/SC/Flynet

Dear Ted:
Just heard Miley Cyrus might have gotten back together with that twentysomething fame whore! I was really rooting for Nick Jonas and Miley, please tell me this is not true.
—T.T.

Dear Niley 4eva:
I can't keep track of who's doing (or not doing) who these days. But Justin Gatson is so girlie! There's no way he's it for Smiley Miley. Nick will be back in the picture before ya know it. 

Dear Ted:
I see a new Twilight love triangle brewing. Could someone come in between Ashley Greene and Jackson Rathbone? How about Bryce Dallas Howard? Bryce has signed on for the third Twilight movie, which is about to start filming. In an interview with Seventeen, Jackson said she is his celebrity crush. I'm starting to see the sparks flying! Will the jealousy be enough to make Ashley show some interest? I hope so. I'd love to see Ash and Jacks together.
—Chris

Dear Fire With Fire:
Absolutely. Count on Bryce to stir the sexpot up in Vancouver as much as Nikki Reed will. I foresee a new BFF pair! 

Dear Ted:
Are you prude or something? I didn't like the way you talked the other day about Twilight fanfics. I will give you a quick advice: Stay away from the Supernatural fandom. Wincest (Sam/Dean) and J2 (Jared/Jensen) fanfictions are way more subversive, violent and kinky than any Twilight fanfiction. They are all over Livejournal and no one complained about them. The writers included them in one episode of season four of Supernatural. But I guess all these people are just crazy deviant pervs to you since they enjoy reading hot steamy gay sex between two fictional brothers or between two real actors.
—Angry Fanfic Writer

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Dear Ted:
I love your blog. I also love Britney Spears. But I have to say I'm a bit skeptical about her new relationship with her agent/boyfriend Jason Trawick. I'm not 100 percent buying that they are really an item. I've never gotten that vibe from them or seen any sort of PDA. Could this just be a showmance? Is it part of the comeback plan to get her with a squeaky-clean guy to help improve her image?
—Crissy

Dear Showmantic:
If her daddy endorses Jason, you know something's up.

Dear Ted:
What is happening with Taylor Lautner and the wolf pack? We know every wrinkle in Robsten's hair, but no shout-outs to Taylor and the almost romance with Selena?
—Barb

Dear Wolf Love:
I think Taylor is such a cutie! But every time I post about him, no one gives him love. What gives?

Dear Ted:
Maybe I'm just clueless about how the dating landscape works these days, but if all of the Twilight hookups have happened as you have stated (which I don't doubt), aren't they concerned about contracting something? I know it sounds old-fashioned, but I have several friends who wish they could undo the consequences of a bad decision.
—Jlbtech

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Daniele Venturelli / Getty Images

Dear Ted:
As a guy, please explain to me what is it with George Clooney and the waitresses? Do they work as a fetish for him? In that case, he's not pervy enough 'cause there are kinkier fetishes. But seriously, even if you don't know, just give me your male opinion 'cause for the life of me I cannot understand how Clooney who could have pretty much anyone he wanted, keeps dating skunks and moving on with them and stuff! Thanks, darling!
—Beth

Dear It Is How It Is:
He likes them young, hot, fresh and dumb. For a guy who will never seriously settle down, those types of girls are perfect. He's the male Jennifer Aniston, picking out mates that will never lead to anything heavy.

Dear Ted:
I have to comment about this Adam Lambert semi-bashing you've been doing lately. Although I can understand your frustration, let's put things into perspective. Idol just ended less than a month ago and Adam has already been seen out and about with his partner and has admitted he'll answer all of our questions in Rolling Stone. That doesn't seem at all like someone who is in the closet or hiding his sexuality. It tells me he's looking for the right opportunity to tell us what we wanna know. As far as I'm concerned, he's eons away from closet cases like Toothy Tile, who have gone so shamefully far as to employ a beard with children and parade around just to get papped and prove he's straight. Who is the true coward, Ted? Go a bit easier on Adam. He'll let his freak flag fly soon enough.
—Janele in Alexandria, Va.

Dear Janele:
All great points. I just think he'd have won the competition if he'd been this open before the show's finale, not after.

Dear Ted:
I'm just gonna go ahead and ask: Isn't anyone just a little worried that if Robsten tanks sooner rather than later (as all young love seems to), it will ruin the next two movies? I mean, we don't need a Lucy-Desi sitch by the time the plot gets really hot in Breaking Dawn, right?
—Mrs. Brenner

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The politically savvy, forward-thinking George Clooney gave us his exclusive thoughts on the California State Supreme Court's nasty ruling on Prop 8 earlier today. George may be pretty to look at, but unlike some of Hollywood's elite, he has brains to back up his allure:

"This just should invigorate people to get it back on the ballot in 2010 and 2012 and every two years until all people are allowed a basic civil right."

Bravo George. Are you listening, everybody?

Mr. Clooney was one of the first to articulate his frustrations to us back in November, too. Here's hoping people will follow George's advice. Or would you prefer to hang back in the myopic dark ages of Miss Cali, Bill O’Reilly and Donald Trump?