The Awful Truth

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Any excuse to put up a picture of Natalie Portman is OK by us!

Nat celebrated the premiere of her new flick Brothers and looked absolutely yumma-do-me while doing it. But a little on the thin side, no? Guess that's Hollywood for ya.

Love the hair, love the makeup, love the dress. Her 'do looks classy, while the strapless mini, busty-bouquet number keeps her looking young. We forget the age of this mature Harvard alum sometimes, but we do know that that vibrant blue hue is impeccable.

One thing missing from the party was costar Jake Gyllenhaal.

Is that because he was home playing with his hair?

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Tara Reid was lunching with her girlfriends in Miami the other day and just happened to use her hands, all animatedly and such. And there appeared to be a pink dog turd surrounded by rhinestones on her ring finger.

Perhaps the first question should be: Would you say "yes" to anyone who proposed with that gaudy-awful thing?

Although we're skeptical that it is indeed an engagement ring, we put in calls to Tara's reps—but have yet to hear back. Supposedly some posh lunchers behind Reid overheard the once-doable blonde talking about her supposed engagement to billionaire boyfriend Michael Axtmann.

We're chalking this one up to Tara dying for a wee bit of publicity. And looks like we're giving it to her, so the joke's on us.

What do you think: Do diamonds flatter Miss (or soon to be Mrs.) Reid?

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Check out other questionable hotties in our Would You Do…? Gallery! 

ABC/Michael Yarish

OK, after our pals over at Watch With Kristin confirmed James Franco was indeed set to appear in the daytime soap General Hospital, we were all for this countercasting.

It's a ballsy move for a Golden Globe winner to backtrack, but this is the kinda actor who really loves his craft, ya know?

After seeing these shots of James on the set of G.H., though, we're so disappointed! Aren't soap operas about crazy overly dramatic plots with...uh, lots of sex? Where's shirtless James Franco?

Obviously J.F. looks doable in the dark suit, but come on. This is his red carpet look. We'd tune in to this daytime soap to see a new side of James. And a nearly naked, or at least more sexily outfitted, side wouldn't hurt, either. Calling Dr. Jimmy Feel-Good, already!

But would you call in sick just to catch this dude in daytime duds?

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Peep some other questionable hotties in our Would You Do...? gallery!

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Preggers Gisele Bündchen oozed runway hotness by simply walking down the street in Boston—and she still has two months two go before she delivers!

Whoever said pregnant women can't look good and slack off while incubating is totally and incorrigibly wrong.

With her stylish jeans, chic scarf and big peak o' cleavage, Leo's ex (think he's cryin' about now?) looks like she's conquering Paris' best bitch fashion quarters, already.

You know, Heidi's hot pregs, but there's something about Gisele that just makes her look like she's still dressing to kill, real fierce nascent mama stuff, don't you think?

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These get harder. Check out our Would You Do...? gallery for more quandries!

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Robert Pattinson might have that wall of dreamy hair, and all you Robstenites can't stop complaining about Bella's damn wig covering up Kristen Stewart's mullet. The whole Twi crew should have their own coif channel on mystyle.com, no?

But there's another New Moon babe whose hair is making news.

Ashley Greene hit up the Parlour on 3rd in Los Angeles on Sunday for nine friggin' hours to get extensions. If you're a longtime Ash fan, you know she had way long locks before she had to get it cut for her Twilight character. Now that Eclipse has just finished filming, looks like Greene's ready to throw away the pixie cut for a while and try something a bit more dramatic.

We think Ash looks totally fab with long or short hair—heck, babe could be bald and still be doable, which is more than we can say for some of the celebs in our new Would You Do...? gallery.

We've rounded up some of H'wood's best and blahest from Team Awful's most recent Do-Me Meters to pose the simple Q: Would you do them? We've got stars showcasing some totally blech fashion choices, untaut bods or just gross personalities mixed in with some surprisingly sexy celebs.

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Check out the doable (or not) dudes and dolls in our Would You Do...? gallery!

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Former Spice Girl Mel B. is in the house and makin' Eddie Murphy's escape look like it may have been about the safety of his body parts!

Maybe Eddie—cad that he was to leave Mel that way—was tired of getting his ol' bod bruised every time he gave her some sugar. That's some serious artillery there. (But then I am a gay man and I haven't had sex with a woman since Kirstie Alley was thin, so what do I know?)

Interesting that Ms. Mel paraded these water balloons at the London premiere of Dead Man Running, because I'd be fleeing from her, too!

Now I'm all for some classy, put-on cleavage. Miley already knows how to strut it, Madonna's been doing it for centuries, but the Scary Spice stuff is just plain frightening.

But the dress is sexy, doll!

FYI: I wanna hear—really I do—when is too much cleavage too much?

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See who else is taking their ta-tas out for a spin in Fashion Police!

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We bet Pete Wentz and Jessica Biel are two big fans of Mad Men (and who isn't nowadays!). Evidence? The two fashion victims took a retro turn for the better while at a Live Earth event in New York City. We can't believe our eyes at how bright, shiny 'n' new both of 'em look in their snazzy officewear.

It's refreshing to see Pete out of a hoodie for once and lookin' dapper in a perfectly tailored suit. And we always knew Wentzy was a heartbreaking hunk under that emo swoop hairdo he's been sporting since forever, getting that black fringe out of his face and opting for a buzz cut. Dude can finally show off the chiseled Clark Kent-Don Draper Jr. thing he's got goin' on.

And Jessica usually prefers sweat suits and a grim frown when she goes out, but the '60s-inspired gray secretary—sorry, we mean administrative assistant—duds are seriously smokin'. Not to mention that smile.

New life, new wardrobe, perhaps? Maybe a Justinless Jess is for the best.

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Peep and rate more style perps in our Fashion Police gallery!

WENN

Hey, Katy "Purry"—no one's going to want to pet your so-out-there ta-tas when you look like a walking pedophile target, ya know? But I guess now since you're dating sexaholic Russell Brand, there's no need to at least try and look good when you go out in public.

Ms. Perry decided to "rock" this peculiar Muppet-covered dress in Paris, France, for Fashion Week, but instead of looking fab it looked like a toy chest exploded on her dress. 

We already heart ya, babe, you don't need to try to win us over with your Lady Gaga-esque cry for help. You got yourself an oddly desirable man; just because you don't need to hook a boyfriend anymore doesn't mean the effort needs to go out the window.

Girl, even in comparison to Holly Madison's sexual shrieks with her then-hookup buddy Brand, your dress screams louder (in a not exactly pleasurable way) than anything fun going on in Sin City. 

Let's try to stay away from getups that make you look like a 5-year-old, please? You're a gorg girl! I mean, really, especially with all this Roman Polanski crap breaking all around us (and all over again). Maybe ask bestie Rihanna for some tips? Might help. Just a suggestion, doll! You rock every other time!

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Check out what other celebs are making bad fashion decisions in the Fashion Police gallery.

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Who can't love Rachel McAdams? She's one of the few classy, charming actresses in this town, and we totally adore her. But what the ef is going on with her face in this pic?

The usually stunning Rachel is popping up everywhere in NYC for Fashion Week, and while she typically can do no wrong in our eyes, there's nothing right about McAdams' puss here, while she's sitting next to her bestie of the week, Vogue's chief diva-with-a-whip, Anna Wintour.

If we didn't know Rache any better, we'd say they were almost in the same age bracket. Why's that?

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Being a girl in Hollywood just sucks sometimes. Get photographed at a bad angle and your famous face will be splashed all over the tabs along with the word cellulite. (Kim Kardashian, anyone? Too ridic.)

Sure, thin will always be "in" in this superficial Biz of ours, but there's nothing more unattractive than being too damn skinny.

Ashlee Simpson-Wentz is the most recent inductee to this withering-away class of actresses, joining the likes of the Olsens, Lindsay Lohan and Keira Knightley.

Ash hit the premiere party for her new show, Melrose Place, this weekend, and all eyes were on her frail frame:

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If Gwyneth Paltrow didn't already bore us enough, she's somehow managed to put us completely in a deep coma with her latest dip in the design world. The ZOEtee's LOVES Gwyneth Paltrow collection goes on sale at Matches Fashion next week, and Gwynnie didn't just slap her name on the tag, she was personally involved with picking the fabrics, cuts, packaging, the whole fashion shebang. How very GOOPy of her!

Which means we can point-blank blame Paltrow for creating the drabbest friggin' celebrity fashion line in existence:

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Kate Gosselin, please consider this our public apology. For a long time we thought you were nothing but a demonic, horned diva bitch, but now we know better. All the trash about that scumbag ex-husband of yours is making you look tons better.

We still think you're a crazy diva, but honestly, babe, at least you look good doing it! Here's why...

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