ABC/Ron Tom

"Five."

—So reveals our inside Desperate Housewives source regarding the total number of deaths resulting from this season's cliffhanger plane catastrophe. We're told it's the result of two passengers on the small aircraft getting into an argument

They die, too, by the by, as do some darling, dear residents on the ground on Wisteria Lane. Gosh, think those might be Teri Hatcher and her crackhead dietician up there in that plane bitching away? Never know! And let's hope!

_________

See what other shows are up to in the Spoiler Stills: TV gallery.

ABC/Ron Tom

I swear these Desperate Housewives writers are more fickle than Lindsay Lohan's bedroom and drinking tastes. Good news if you're a fan for keeping as many of these soapy screamers alive: As we've exclusively learned, one of the Wisteria Lane regulars slated for death after the big upcoming plane crash is actually getting a second chance at prime-time life.

Are you relieved or upset?

Before you decided just how you feel about this nutty TV news—BIGASS SPOILER ALERT!—get a hold of how one par-tick character survives the big catastrophe:

Keep Reading

AP Photo/Chris Pizzello

"There are many who want her dead."

—Über-connected Desperate Housewives source, who bitched back at me after I bitched that they should knock off Susan (Teri Hatcher) instead of who we scooped about yesterday. Jeez, is this all just because Hatcher refuses to put a morsel of sustenance in her rail-thin bod? I dare say no.

________

Not a DH fan? Here are some other good shows to watch in our 2009 Fall TV Preview.

Jason Merritt/Getty Images

As our darling (and far less nefarious) colleague Kristin Dos Santos has spilled along with us, it's getting deadly over on Desperate Housewives' soapy Wisteria Lane. And now we know some of who, exactly, is getting offed.

This is all, of course, for the big finale this season, you know. Something to keep you sipping copious amounts of eggnog throughout the holidays while you wait to see just how all the fortysomething babes cope with the tragic occurrences caused by a plane crash right in front of their pretty picket fences.

Are you ready? BIGASS SPOILER ALERT, 'cause it sure ain't pretty. And it sure ain't who you'd suspect:

Keep Reading

ABC/ Ron Tom

After breaking some uh-oh news in regards to some Desperate Housewives regulars, we've got even more delish D.H. dish for you boob-tube-lovin' folks.

What's going on with Felicity Huffman's character Lynette and the supermisogynistic Carlos (Ricardo Chavira)? Is she gonna take his BS for much longer? Click the jump to find out all the sassy deets, if you impatient D.H. lovers dare...

Spoiler alert! Rumored plot points spilled after the jump! Spoiler alert!

Keep Reading

ABC/Ron Tom

As our own Kristin Dos Santos reported last week, a plane (possibly Lost related) is going to be crashing down on Wisteria Lane. What's it all mean?

Now, with Nicollette Sheridan having been axed, there are some bitchy B-cups to fill. And since Nic was famously the gal to hate, onscreen and off, the main girls are left clawing at each other over on Wisteria Lane.

So who's going to possibly be killed off by this plane crash? And what's even juicier: Is it who everyone on the set wants to be killed off?

Eva Longoria Parker, is that you're name we're hearing?

Spoiler alert! Rumored plot points spilled after the jump! Spoiler alert!

Keep Reading

Lisa O'Connor/ZUMAPress.com

"She's fine."

—Close personal friend to Desperate Housewives star Kathryn Joosten, who just underwent lung cancer surgery today for the removal of a tumor discovered last month. So far, doctors say no chemo or radiation is planned for the 70-year-old star, unless pathology tests prove otherwise. Good luck, you crusty old broad!

Lisa O'Connor/ZUMAPress.com

"It's operable and looks like no chemo or radiation will be necessary—she goes in Oct. 5, and it could take as little as 30 minutes."

—Friend to Desperate Housewives star Kathryn Joosten, who discovered her lung cancer had returned after being in remission for eight years. Good luck, babe!

Lisa O'Connor/ZUMAPress.com

Such sad news: Funky and cranky-hilarious Kathryn Joosten, who plays Desperate Housewives' meddling Mrs. McClusky on the hit diva soap, is again fighting lung cancer. The 69-year-old star—many TV fans know her best as the president's secretary, Mrs. Landingham, from The West Wing—is "fighting mad," she says.

And not just about her own condition, but what she faces medically and politically, too:

"Lung cancer kills more people than breast cancer in this country, and it doesn't get anywhere near the funding. I want to be the Ryan White of lung cancer. This is so unfair."

Joosten, a heavy smoker for more than 40 years, was originally diagnosed with lung cancer in 2001. She had surgery and recovered without chemo or radiation, and she'd been cancer-free until last Wednesday, when she got the unfortunate news. "What a bitch, huh?," K.J. sassed.

When I asked Joosten how she's taking her recent diagnosis, she barked:

Keep Reading

ABC/ Ron Tom

We love our Desperate-centric quizzes—those curvy gals can never keep themselves out of trouble for too long, just the way we like it in the gossip world!

But what we can't stand, ever, are stars being downright rude, something Shia LeBeouf's turned into a day job, basically. What DH doll's indulging in some naughty, uncouth behavior that has onlookers totally infuriated? Someone should really tell her that accessorizing an outfit with bad manners always turns out hideous!

Keep Reading

ABC/Ron Tom

The latest scoop from those prudeass suits over at Desperate Housewives comes right on the heels of our story about über-conservative smoking habits over on the Wisteria Lane. So what's today's goss?

Turns out one of our favorite Housewives—who has always been the most normal on the Lane, although that's not saying much—is considering something that's causing ABC to majorly freak out, as said deed is supposedly way too risqué for the show.

What is this, the Dark Ages? They've had suicides, serial killers, underage sex and bitches getting electrocuted—what topic could be so damn scandalous?

Keep Reading

Steve Granitz/Getty Images

What would smoldering August be without some burnin' dish from our favorite brothel of catty bitches and hunky husbands, otherwise known as Wisteria Lane?

Today's news comes from one of our myriad dee-lish Desperate desperados, and is in regard to the family of new resident hottie Drea de Matteo...

Keep Reading