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It is time to get off Carrie Prejean's back about her chest. The woman is correct. The Bible absolutely, positively does not say, "You shouldn't get breast implants." In those exact words.

We have reached this conclusion after seeking counsel and revving up the search engine at BibleGateway.com.

We are sorry we didn't take Prejean's word from the get-go. It just sounded like a rationalization from a beauty queen turned inspirational memoirist. But a little bit of faith would've saved us time, not to mention the embarrassment of having to ask students of the Bible for their thoughts on—how should we say?—pageant helpers.

Our findings—and, yes, our defense of Ms. Prejean—are as follows: 

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Carrie Prejean is pretty, but she sure is testy.

Larry King got the fallen beauty queen so fired up on CNN's Larry King Live last night, she walked out on the show.

Prejean is in the middle of a publicity bonanza hawking her new book, Still Standing, which details her clash with Donald Trump, Shanna Moakler and the rest of the Miss California organization.

After she showed off the tome and talked about her love for Sarah Palin—she considers herself "Palinized"—King began to ask about Prejean's recent settlement with the pageant organizers. She continued to spout her party line...that is, until she called King inappropriate and ripped off her microphone.

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Why are Australian newspapers trying to rain on Britney Spears' parade circus?

Last weekend, Oz's Daily Telegraph published a story about the pop tart's recent concerts, accusing her of lip-syncing and claiming fans were unhappy and called her boring.

The show's promoter said the star was aware of the reviews and "extremely upset by it." Now, all these days later, she's "upset" enough to release an official comment.

"I hear there is a lot of controversy in the media about my show," she said in a statement to the Agence France Presse. "Some reporters have said they love it and some don't. I came to Australia for my fans!"

Those priorities sound right on point, except for the fact that her lip service neglects to address the actual issue at hand: the lip-syncing.

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Get a load of Britney Spears' Circus Spectacular right here.

The CW / Andrew Eccles

We hear the Parents Television Council is counting the reasons why Monday's touted Gossip Girl threesome shouldn't be aired. We see a like-minded group in South Carolina is making a similar case. And we gather some unaligned parents may be forming their own concerns.

What we don't understand is why everyone doesn't understand: Threesomes on TV are good; threesomes on Gossip Girl are better!

Go ahead, object to this.

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NBC Photo: Justin Lubin

One could say that Michael Scott hangs himself regularly on The Office. But his latest stunt has more people squirming than usual.

The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention was put off by last week's Halloween episode of the Emmy-winning sitcom, in which Steve Carell's character slips a noose around his neck and fakes a hanging to scare a group of young visitors to Dunder-Mifflin's haunted house.

"Kids, just remember, suicide is not the answer. It is the easy way out," Michael reminds them afterward.

Same old delusional Michael, maybe, but a really inappropriate line according to the people whose mission it is to educate about mental illness and prevent others from taking their own lives.

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HBO / Ron Batzdorff

Should Larry David have curbed his urine stream on last week's Curb Your Enthusiasm?

The plot thread in which Larry's midriff-showing assistant thinks her mom's painting of Jesus is crying because of Larry's bathroom backsplash has a couple of Catholic groups on the offensive against what they perceive as a tasteless, persecutorial jab against their religion.

"I don't think it's funny," InsideCatholic.com publisher Deal Hudson told FoxNews.com. "Why is it that people are allowed to publicly show that level of disrespect for Christian symbols? If the same thing was done to a symbol of any other religions—Jewish or Muslim—there'd be a huge outcry. It's simply not a level playing field."

Hudson thinks an apology is in order.

But Curb is indeed an equal-opportunity lampooner. No character is safe from being made to look like an ass.

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ABC; AP Photo/Will Powers

Is the lawman behind the Balloongate probe full of hot air?

With what appears to be slam-dunk evidence against his clients, the Colorado lawyer of Richard and Mayumi Heene has chosen a novel defense approach: blame Larimer County Sheriff James Alderden for bungling the investigation and jeopardizing the Balloon Brood's shot at a fair trial.

Per the county district attorney's office, Heene attorney David Lane has accused Alderden of violating privacy laws by informing the media that the three Heene kids were being scrutinized by Child Protective Services after the notorious balloon flight.

"The defense attorney submitted a letter to us asking that [the sheriff] be investigated because he made a comment about child protective services investigating the Heene children," says D.A. spokeswoman Linda Jensen. "He was saying that by statute the sheriff should not have said that."

And now the D.A. has brought in a special prosecutor to hear out Lane's claims.

Does that mean the case goes pop?

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It seems the new DirecTV commercial featuring Chris Farley has generated anger in spades. Or more specifically, at David Spade.

The company's latest spot, in which they—once again—splice together actual movie footage with one of the film's stars talking to the camera about the benefits of the satellite service, involves a scene from Farley and Spade's Tommy Boy.

While Farley's famous "fat-guy-in-a-little-coat" routine is certainly funny, many feel the use of it here is no laughing matter. 

Sure, we've seen dead people pop up in commercials before, but there are some who have taken issue with the fact that Spade himself is involved, giving the impression he sold out his late buddy for a few bucks.

Spade, however, doesn't see it that way...

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A Roman holiday, this ain't: The U.S. Justice Department has formally requested to have Roman Polanski extradited from Switzerland to California to face the music for having sex with a 13-year-old girl 30 years ago.

Geneva's Justice Ministry says Switzerland's top criminal court will rule on the matter. At that point, the 76-year-old Oscar-winning filmmaker could make a last-ditch appeal to the Swiss Federal Supreme Court.

The whole process could take months. And that's bad news for the ailing Polanski, who was just denied bail after being deemed a flight risk. And things could get worse.

Should he wind up back in the states, Polanski could land a two-year prison sentence for his 1977 guilty plea to unlawful sex with a minor.

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See other famous folks who have fallen on the wrong side of the law in our Mug-Shot Mania gallery.

Sony Pictures

Richard Heene, you're going to dig this story.

So, the other day we were kicking back, studying the Maya calendar, when we made two shocking discoveries:

• One, the ancient timekeepers totally predicted the movie 2012!

• Two, they totally nailed your family's Balloon Boy saga from start to Wolf Blitzer finish!

Not to brag, but here's how we did it—and, Mr. Heene, feel free to source us in any future reality-TV proposal:

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ABC

William Shatner isn't the only one distancing himself from the taint of Balloongate.

Lifetime has just shelved a rerun of one of the Heene family's Wife Swap episodes.

The episode, one of two the family appeared on that originally aired on ABC, had been set for Oct. 29 at 2 p.m. It was scheduled long before last week's helium-powered hijinks in Colorado.

No word on whether it will be shelved permanently, but a Lifetime rep says the network doesn't have "any plans to air it in the near future."

Local sheriff's investigators are gathering evidence to prove Richard and Mayumi Heene set off the balloon—sans 6-year-old son Falcon—to drum up pub for a proposed reality series. Charges are expected to be filed as early as next week.

So far, no network has admitted to being in cahoots with the clan. But we presume Lifetime is out of the running.

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Where the wild things aren't is in a Kanye West movie.

A month after his mea culpa to Taylor Swift for hijacking her MTV Video Music Awards moment, the rap superstar is offering up yet another apology, this time to his fans for removing an epic Spike Jonze-directed video in which he stars as a womanizing, boozing party animal.

"Sorry I had to take it down," West writes on his blog without further explanation.

The 14-minute short, entitled "We Were Once a Fairytale," showed West playing a wasted version of himself, groping various females in a nightclub while his track "See You In My Nightmares" plays in the background.

After a brief sex scene, the MC makes a beeline for the bathroom, where he vomits and proceeds to stab himself in the stomach with a knife. The clip concludes as West pulls some sort of rat fiend from his gut, a Jonzian touch reminiscent of the helmer's latest big screen foray, Where the Wild Things Are.

The clip sparked controversy upon its debut yesterday, with critics calling it sexist. And he continues to make headlines for taking it down today.

Contoversy? Publicity? Kanye West? Go figure.

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