The CW / Andrew Eccles

We hear the Parents Television Council is counting the reasons why Monday's touted Gossip Girl threesome shouldn't be aired. We see a like-minded group in South Carolina is making a similar case. And we gather some unaligned parents may be forming their own concerns.

What we don't understand is why everyone doesn't understand: Threesomes on TV are good; threesomes on Gossip Girl are better!

Go ahead, object to this.

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NBC Photo: Justin Lubin

One could say that Michael Scott hangs himself regularly on The Office. But his latest stunt has more people squirming than usual.

The American Federation for Suicide Prevention was put off by last week's Halloween episode of the Emmy-winning sitcom, in which Steve Carell's character slips a noose around his neck and fakes a hanging to scare a group of young visitors to Dunder-Mifflin's haunted house.

"Kids, just remember, suicide is not the answer. It is the easy way out," Michael reminds them afterward.

Same old delusional Michael, maybe, but a really inappropriate line according to the people whose mission it is to educate about mental illness and prevent others from taking their own lives.

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HBO / Ron Batzdorff

Should Larry David have curbed his urine stream on last week's Curb Your Enthusiasm?

The plot thread in which Larry's midriff-showing assistant thinks her mom's painting of Jesus is crying because of Larry's bathroom backsplash has a couple of Catholic groups on the offensive against what they perceive as a tasteless, persecutorial jab against their religion.

"I don't think it's funny," InsideCatholic.com publisher Deal Hudson told FoxNews.com. "Why is it that people are allowed to publicly show that level of disrespect for Christian symbols? If the same thing was done to a symbol of any other religions—Jewish or Muslim—there'd be a huge outcry. It's simply not a level playing field."

Hudson thinks an apology is in order.

But Curb is indeed an equal-opportunity lampooner. No character is safe from being made to look like an ass.

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ABC; AP Photo/Will Powers

Is the lawman behind the Balloongate probe full of hot air?

With what appears to be slam-dunk evidence against his clients, the Colorado lawyer of Richard and Mayumi Heene has chosen a novel defense approach: blame Larimer County Sheriff James Alderden for bungling the investigation and jeopardizing the Balloon Brood's shot at a fair trial.

Per the county district attorney's office, Heene attorney David Lane has accused Alderden of violating privacy laws by informing the media that the three Heene kids were being scrutinized by Child Protective Services after the notorious balloon flight.

"The defense attorney submitted a letter to us asking that [the sheriff] be investigated because he made a comment about child protective services investigating the Heene children," says D.A. spokeswoman Linda Jensen. "He was saying that by statute the sheriff should not have said that."

And now the D.A. has brought in a special prosecutor to hear out Lane's claims.

Does that mean the case goes pop?

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It seems the new DirecTV commercial featuring Chris Farley has generated anger in spades. Or more specifically, at David Spade.

The company's latest spot, in which they—once again—splice together actual movie footage with one of the film's stars talking to the camera about the benefits of the satellite service, involves a scene from Farley and Spade's Tommy Boy.

While Farley's famous "fat-guy-in-a-little-coat" routine is certainly funny, many feel the use of it here is no laughing matter. 

Sure, we've seen dead people pop up in commercials before, but there are some who have taken issue with the fact that Spade himself is involved, giving the impression he sold out his late buddy for a few bucks.

Spade, however, doesn't see it that way...

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Anita Bugge/Getty Images

A Roman holiday, this ain't: The U.S. Justice Department has formally requested to have Roman Polanski extradited from Switzerland to California to face the music for having sex with a 13-year-old girl 30 years ago.

Geneva's Justice Ministry says Switzerland's top criminal court will rule on the matter. At that point, the 76-year-old Oscar-winning filmmaker could make a last-ditch appeal to the Swiss Federal Supreme Court.

The whole process could take months. And that's bad news for the ailing Polanski, who was just denied bail after being deemed a flight risk. And things could get worse.

Should he wind up back in the states, Polanski could land a two-year prison sentence for his 1977 guilty plea to unlawful sex with a minor.

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See other famous folks who have fallen on the wrong side of the law in our Mug-Shot Mania gallery.

Sony Pictures

Richard Heene, you're going to dig this story.

So, the other day we were kicking back, studying the Maya calendar, when we made two shocking discoveries:

• One, the ancient timekeepers totally predicted the movie 2012!

• Two, they totally nailed your family's Balloon Boy saga from start to Wolf Blitzer finish!

Not to brag, but here's how we did it—and, Mr. Heene, feel free to source us in any future reality-TV proposal:

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ABC

William Shatner isn't the only one distancing himself from the taint of Balloongate.

Lifetime has just shelved a rerun of one of the Heene family's Wife Swap episodes.

The episode, one of two the family appeared on that originally aired on ABC, had been set for Oct. 29 at 2 p.m. It was scheduled long before last week's helium-powered hijinks in Colorado.

No word on whether it will be shelved permanently, but a Lifetime rep says the network doesn't have "any plans to air it in the near future."

Local sheriff's investigators are gathering evidence to prove Richard and Mayumi Heene set off the balloon—sans 6-year-old son Falcon—to drum up pub for a proposed reality series. Charges are expected to be filed as early as next week.

So far, no network has admitted to being in cahoots with the clan. But we presume Lifetime is out of the running.

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Where the wild things aren't is in a Kanye West movie.

A month after his mea culpa to Taylor Swift for hijacking her MTV Video Music Awards moment, the rap superstar is offering up yet another apology, this time to his fans for removing an epic Spike Jonze-directed video in which he stars as a womanizing, boozing party animal.

"Sorry I had to take it down," West writes on his blog without further explanation.

The 14-minute short, entitled "We Were Once a Fairytale," showed West playing a wasted version of himself, groping various females in a nightclub while his track "See You In My Nightmares" plays in the background.

After a brief sex scene, the MC makes a beeline for the bathroom, where he vomits and proceeds to stab himself in the stomach with a knife. The clip concludes as West pulls some sort of rat fiend from his gut, a Jonzian touch reminiscent of the helmer's latest big screen foray, Where the Wild Things Are.

The clip sparked controversy upon its debut yesterday, with critics calling it sexist. And he continues to make headlines for taking it down today.

Contoversy? Publicity? Kanye West? Go figure.

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ABC, E!

UPDATE: Count the Heenes among the graduates of the Jon Gosselin School of Grammar and Spelling. In a hastily scribbled note on their front door this morning, the family made clear they would not be looking for any more camera time. Make that, any more voluntary camera time.

"Thank you for all of your support," the sign read. "We are not taking any interview any more. We are tired. Thank you. Heenes."

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Remember Thursday afternoon when the Balloon Boy story was all about a little boy and the world held its breath for the kid's poor parents?

Well, now it's all about baseball metaphors.

After a bodily function-filled round of the morning shows, Richard Heene and his family have passed the spokesperson baton to their new lawyer, Denver-based David Lane. In the wake of authorities raiding the family's home and Larimer County Sheriff James Alderden announcing criminal charges on the way, he's tying his cleats.

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AP Photo/David Zalubowski

Little Falcon Heene might be flying high (or not), but Balloon Boy's parents are in big trouble.

Criminal charges are on the way for the "storm-chasing" Richard and Mayumi Heene, Larimer County Sheriff James Alderden stated during a Sunday morning press conference.

"The hoax [was] a planned event for at least two weeks to launch this spacecraft in order to gain media publicity," said Alderden. "To create a situation where it appeared Falcon was in the craft and his life was in danger with an ultimate goal of...obtaining a contract to do a reality show."

The charges will include filing a false report, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, attempting to influence a public servant and conspiracy, and could result in a maximum sentence of six years in prison and a $500,000 fine including restitution for all of the expenses the country incurred.

(How about adding successfully fooling an entire nation into caring to the list? Admit it—you feel as duped as we do!)

Listen to the 911 call made by Mayumi Heene

No arrests have been made, but the investigation is ramping up.

"We have a lot of work to do. We have to identify coconspirators, a lot of records to go through," said Alderden. "Until we do that, we can't submit a case to the district attorney's office. I cannot estimate how long that will take."

The Heenes, meanwhile, remain under a watchful eye.

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ABC

Apparently the police were not amused by Balloon Boy or his high-flying hijinks.   

Larimer County Sheriff Jim Alderden says his office will file unspecified criminal charges in the case as early as Sunday. 

The pronouncement came after his investigators spent the day questioning parents Richard and Mayumi Heene about the incident that went down Thursday.

The Heenes are not under arrest but deputies were seeking a search warrant for their home. More information is expected to be announced in a news conference Sunday.

Alderden has previously said that, if he discovered they were fibbing, he could only charge the Heenes with a misdemeanor for falsifying a police report. But because federal resources were used in the search-and-rescue mission, Alderden says he will confab with U.S. prosecutors to see if more serious counts could be tacked on.

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