It's beginning to sound like none of the Hogans knows best.

In two separate interviews with E! this week, Brooke Hogan breaks down her current family dynamic and, as always, it ain't pretty.

"I'm the only one with my head on straight," she tells E!'s Daily 10. "I don't know what's wrong with mom…dad and brother are doing good. I'm staying straightforward."

Straightforward perhaps to the continued detriment of her already rocky relationship with mother Linda, whom Brooke says is "preying on her own babies."

"We don't talk…I feel betrayed."

Thanks to her latest round of interviews, the feeling is likely mutual.

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That foulness in the air isn't coming from Linda Hogan's drug tests—because those are "clean, clean, clean," according to her rep.

The Hogan Knows Best matriarch recently opted to undergo a full drug screening in response to allegations made by ex-hubby Hulk Hogan and daughter Brooke that she was using.

And, per a statement released by her rep Gary Smith, Hogan "tested negative for everything," including amphetamines, marijuana, cocaine, PCP and opiates such as Vicodin and heroin.

"Linda also had a full medical exam," Smith said. "According to the doctors who examined her, she has even had gains in bone density and muscle mass since her last physical, which indicates a healthy lifestyle. This further disproves Hulk's and Brooke's unfounded and hurtful allegations. Linda's drug screening shows she has no trace of any drugs in her system, legal or illegal, that includes prescription medication. Linda does not do drugs and never accused her daughter of doing drugs either. Hulk is the expert on drug use."

Hulk Hogan admitted to various forms of drug abuse in a recent Rolling Stone interview—the same one in which he admitted to understanding O.J.

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The Hogan family has decided to challenge the Spellings for this week's title of Celebrity Family Best at Being the Worst.

It all started last week when the airbrush angel of your dreams, Brooke Hogan, video-chatted with Perez and talked about her mom, Linda, doing drugs.

Not that Brooke knows this firsthand; the two haven't spoken much since Linda and Hulk announced their divorce and Linda started dating a 21-year-old. Instead, Brooke is relying on what her gut and people back home tell her.

Brooke's speculations caused Linda's Google alerts to go off, and she did what any loving, caring mother would do in this situation—ordered her people to email Perez about Brooke's boob job...

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• Lady Gaga's latest video for "Paparazzi" is evocative, satirical, sexy and long, but go ahead and give it a gander. It's worth a watch. Then cleanse yourself with something a little more bubbly (and not bubble suity) by listening to the Jonas Brothers' latest.

• Here's something you should all know: The Hogans do not know best. They are much ado about mudslinging and drama, Brooke's boob jobs, Linda's drug use and the Hulk's boa-wearing.

• Benji and Joel Madden were apparently born Benji and Joel Combs, which might make them related to Sean "Diddy" Combs or something. Do you think that's why they legally changed their names?

• Kiefer Sutherland may be keeping his head to himself in the latest issue of British Elle, but not his thoughts on ex-fiancée Julia Roberts.

• Just in case you've been hiding under a rock and missed the gazillion Gosselin tidbits of Jon & Kate Plus 8 news we've been posting for the past few weeks, don't miss our Jon & Kate Twisted Fate special, airing tonight on E! at 10:30 ET/PT.

• Stephanie Pratt and Frankie Delgado have their panties in a bunch about Paris Hilton's comments about The Hills.

• Dear Jesse McCartney: Chocolate milk? Really?! Love, Rise 'n' Shine

When you look at Big Pic, have you ever wanted to be a pen so badly?

Want more? Follow us on Twitter @eonline!

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•  Soulja Boy is right, meeting girls in clubs ain't like it used to be: "Technology is so advanced from like 10 years back. I'm in the club last night chick sittin directly across me talking to me on Twitter LOL."

•  Miley Cyrus and Emily Osment do some light reading, especially for a sleepover: "Emily: Night by Elie Wiesel. Miley: Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini."

•  Diddy wants cheese and chicken: "White cheddar cheese popcorn is crazy!!! I wish they made some chicken that taste like this!! Lol lol."

•  Greg Grunberg is really not happy about the cancellation of My Name Is Earl. He likens it to crudités: "I love Chuck, don't get me wring, but I need my Earl. I dip my Earl in ranch and all is right in the world."

•  Will we be seeing M.I.A. hawking Coca-Cola in the near future? "OK so coca-cola asked me to be the face of Coke er um im lovin it? but its all about the milk this year, auto tuned baby im comin ZZZZ."

•  Tweet Topic: The stars are picking their American Idols. Adrianne Curry: Lambert. Brooke Hogan: Lambert. Paula Abdul: "Who do you think?"

Whether you voted for Adam Lambert or for Shawn Johnson, you should be following us on Twitter @eonline!

Unbeknownst to us, Brooke Hogan apparently has such a devoted following that she felt the need to put out a video preview of her song "Falling" weeks before the full-fledged clip is due to be released.

Taking what seems to be a choreographic cue from Heidi Montag—because, really, who doesn't?—the Hulkster's daughter hits the sand and surf to sing her little heart out. Just with a lot less awkwardness.

Speaking of Heidi, her hubby, Spencer Pratt, is also getting into the musical act. On Ryan Seacrest's radio show Monday, the Hills hustler unleashed unto the world "I'm a Celebrity," a new rap song in which Pratt has annoyingly affectionately dubs himself "The Great White."

So, in our fictitious battle of the blondes, which is the lesser of two evils? Brooke bopping on the beach, or Spencer's attempt to fill the void left vacant by Vanilla Ice?

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A new headache for the Hulkster.

Hulk Hogan's soon-to-be ex-wife, Linda Hogan, has dropped a bombshell in the ever-acrimonious split, announcing she pulled the plug on their 24-year union because the former wrestler had an affair with their daughter's former BFF.

"When Linda discovered Hulk had [an affair] with Brooke's best friend, Christiane Plante, she made the decision to call it quits on the marriage," Linda's new publicist, Gary Smith, says in a statement to E! News.

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Nick Hogan is a free man.

After serving 166 days of an eight-month sentence, Hulk Hogan's son was released from a Pinellas County jail around 12:30 a.m. Tuesday morning and taken immediately to his family's Clearwater, Fla., home.

Hogan, 18, got out early after receiving three months' credit for good behavior.

The Hogan Knows Best star pleaded no contest to felony reckless driving back in May stemming from a September 2007 car crash that left his best friend, John Graziano, in critical condition and needing lifelong medical care. He was subsequently sentenced to eight months behind bars as well as five years' probation and 500 hours of community service.

The Grazianos are expected to file a civil suit against the Hogans seeking damages.

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Brooke Hogan can't wait until her little brother receives his get-out-of-jail card.

The Hogan Knows Best babe writes on her MySpace blog that she can't wait to fawn over  Nick Hogan, who's due to be released Tuesday from a Tampa jail after serving 166 days for reckless driving in the 2007 car crash that left his friend in a vegetative state.

"I can't even tell you, as a sister, how exciting this is for me! Nick and I are like best friends...and I can't believe how long Ive gone without him," she writes. "Not seeing him for 6 months has been really really hard...without having him there to hug me just at the right time, or crack a joke when im havin a bad day."

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Brooke Hogan really does make parsing her too easy, and as much as we’d like to ignore her, it’s impossible. She just won’t stop with the blogging.

In today’s nonsensical MySpace ramblings, Brooke starts the party with “I hate blogs but I love mine. Cause I can be F-in REAL with people!!!!”

So let’s get F-in REAL and clarify that "women have too much PMS to be president" statement:

"Notice how i said 'I know IIIIII couldn't do it cause I'd be pms-ing and freaking out all the time' ...Honestly I'd LOVE to meet a woman with NO emotional problems....but thats not the point...but its true. LOL."

So she still believes all women are emotional messes. But why is she not that into voting in the first place? That answer, and more Brookeisms, after the jump...

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