Bitch-Back! Bromances Gone Bad
Dear Ted:
Upon learning that they are indeed related, do ya think Matt Damon and Ben Affleck said "Ewww" and headed straight for the showers?
—Mark
Dear Letter of the Day:
Too funny! But you'd be surprised; they have a bromance unusual in Hollywood—in that it's not a romance.
Dear Ted:
I hope you're in good condition today...I saw Robert Pattinson's interview with Seventeen magazine and he says he would love to work again with Kristen Stewart in another movie (outside Twilight connection). Do you think there is a possibility that they can do the remake of Last Tango in Paris since that is their favorite movie? Do you think it's right for K.Stew because she's still young and the movie is so sexy? I think it's time for K.Stew to do some adult movies and the best way to start is with Rob because of their chemistry.
—Jasmine
Dear Wishful Thinking:
Somewhere down the road, sure, I could see them working together. Like Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet, everyone's first favorite onscreen couple. They did Titanic then Revolutionary Road. If Robsten works together, expect some gaps in between that and Twilight, though…or else fans won't believe them on screen with anyone else. Like that's not already the case.
Dear Ted:
After reading your article about Austin Nichols and Sophia Bush, I have to wonder what is up with those One Tree Hill ladies. Tell me, is Danneel Harris and Jensen Ackles' relationship comparable to Sophia and Austin's? And if so, would it be fair to say that Jared Padalecki is the Jake Gyllenhaal to Jensen's Austin?
—Curious
Bateman on Ben & Jen: "They Bicker So Much" (Kidding, Right?)
Ben Affleck's starring in the new Mike Judge movie Extract, but you'd never know it. Dude was MIA at the film's premiere at ArcLight Cinemas in Hollywood last night—we hear he didn't make it to the junket, either. What gives? Picking up some social tips from your wife, Jen Garner, are we?
'K, so we're totally tough on Garner, but that's based on the totally negative personal interactions we've had with her all over H'wood and the stuck-up way we see her treating her hubby. Last time we mentioned this pair, we asked any Jen defenders to come forward and share any good experiences they'd had meeting the chick. And hey, about three of you stepped forward! Three people out of everybody else in the entire world's not so bad, right?
We're still not convinced that J.G.'s America's sweetheart, so we asked somebody who would be totally in the know of Jen and Ben behind the scenes...and you'll never believe how he described working with the famous pair:
Caught! Why Ben Is Better Than Jen
A totally delicious-looking Ben Affleck (for a nice change) was spotted aboard a Virgin America flight on a Friday night from Boston to LAX, first class, natch. One of Ben's fellow fliers tells us the daddy of two was incredibly "drop-dead gorgeous," even while sporting stubble and wearing casual planewear. "Even the flight attendants were swooning!" she swears. Sorry we didn't see it with our own eyes!
Even more attractive than a chiseled bod on Benny boy? A friendly attitude. B.A. graciously got out of his comfy first-class seat to take a pic with two kids sitting behind him, so un-Shia LaBeouf of him. "Jen is a lucky girl," our mole in the sky tells us. Totally! We have no idea how she nabbed him other than with good luck. (Where was she, anyway, while Ben was flying the overly friendly skies? Back in L.A. attending sex classes?)
BFF Alert! Jen Garner and Reese Witherspoon
Jennifer Garner's cutesy mug is gracing the cover of C magazine this September, and she gives just some thrilling quotes. And by quotes, we mean white lies.
Says Jen: "I've never been one to paint myself up Hollywood style—I'm just not good at that. I don't have a healthy dose of that kind of vanity although I wish I did because then you know how to be cute when you need to be cute."
OMG! Ms. Garner is sheer perfection in regards to knowing when to turn on the cuteness. Like in front of every friggin' rolling camera, for starters. We wish we could show you the real J.G. behind the scenes, but some of you are already catching wind of what that's like.
Whatev, the total gem of this Q and A with the mag was who Jen revealed was her Hollywood bestie...
Jen and Ben Need Sex Help to Survive, Duh
Slowly but surely the troubles between Jen Garner and Ben Affleck are leaking out all over the place. Yeah, and?
Don't forget, folks, we so had it here first. (And here. And here!)
What took everybody so long? Apparently, Jen put her divorce lawyer's number back in the drawer and is trying another tactic to fix her Brentwood, picket-fence problems: via purchasing fancier digs and allegedly seeing a sex therapist to keep the romance, and, one assumes, the marriage, alive.
Why doesn't she just wear a Matt Damon mask? That'll turn Ben on pronto!
If J.G.'s as cold to Ben in the boudoir as she was to us at the Pink Party in September (and pretty much everyone else) on the red carpet, they've got more hang-ups than one therapist can handle.
Also, I think it's no coincidence a quasi-sex-driven story for a completely dudly couple surfaces when they both have equally dudly movies to promote.
Caught! Ben Affleck Travels Solo, Shocker
Ben Affleck, "doing some research" at financial firm Wellington Management for an upcoming flick. Jennifer Garner's hubby was rocking the scruffy look, while still looking quite yummy.
Reportedly so deelish, in fact, Benny had gaggles of guys swarming around him. We're told Ben was "totally polite and awesome" despite the sausage lovefest.
Hmmm...Sure sounds like Affleck's wife-unit could take a cue from her beau. Speaking of whom, no Jen or kiddies in sight. Not at all surprising.
An equally questionable babe back in Cali was...
Vanessa Minnillo, sitting on the lap of a guy not Nick Lachey at the A/X Watches event at the SLS Hotel in Bev Hills. Was the dude a relative? New lover? Or the L.A. staple: a gay friend? Who knows. Do any of you really care?
Also in the 90210...
Morning Piss: The Afflecks—Lips Together, Teeth Apart
As my fave snoops, Page Six, just hauled out of the Esquire piece on Ben Affleck I simply did not have time to read, Jennifer Garner's least-photographed family member stated simply and emphatically:
"The best cure for a hangover is something one straight man can't do for another straight man."
Oh really? Isn't it interesting that Matt Damon's former BFF and J.Lo's ex-whipping dude mentioned a blow job without referring to (a) his wife or (b) another woman?
It's yet another disconnect in this cryptic little tale of Mr. and Mrs. Jen Garner. Yes, yes, yes, sweaty sex is always a great cure (for a lotta things), but why is Affleck even talking about guys when discussing fellatio? It's just weird. Like this marriage. And like Jen's little-known tendency to respond, off camera, after you've asked her how she is like you just asked her for...well, a blow job.
Jen Garner Out With Baby, Not Ben
Jen Garner's been working nonstop, it seems—we're not talking about acting. We mean the full-time job of convincing the public she and hub-unit of the mo' Ben Affleck are still happy as a pair of East Coast clams.
Please, we see right through your faux smiles; give us a break, the both of ya. Jen took her own rest from behaving like the perf li'l wifey to spend some quality time with baby Seraphina on the set of her new funny flick, The Invention of Lying (or This Side of the Truth, or whatever the hell it's so appropriately called). And there were a helluva lot of lies going around, par-tick when it came to Jenny's postbaby bod:
"Jennifer looks radiant," an on-set source told Celebuzz, mentioning that Jen's costumes are a size 8. Down to such a small size in less than two months from giving birth? Can Jen work the same miracles when it comes to her marriage?
Get ready to start seeing heaps of photo ops of Jen out with her new bod and new baby—but not with Ben. He's far too busy.
Bitch-Back! Bennifer Breakdown!
Dear Ted:
How long would you like to keep Isaiah Washington on the cross? He paid for his sin of using the F-word against T.R. by being fired off of one of the best shows on the air (until he left, that is). It's been two years! Give it a rest and let the man rebuild his life!
—Yvette
Dear Irked Over Isaiah:
He can try to rebuild his career—doesn't mean I have to like him. Getting fired doesn't stop you from being a bigot.
Dear Ted:
So, Garner surprises Affleck at L.A. House of Blues, peppers his face with kisses and jets 20 minutes later. Sounds like someone wanted to send a message to a Ben hoochie attending the event to me...Elizabeth Berkley maybe?
—Robin
Dear Ben's Babes:
Or to me? No one's safe from Jen Garner's death stare. And why single out poor Liz Berkley? Babe's been married herself since 2003.
Dear Ted:
Is it just me or is it just a little sad to watch the Oscars with all its display of wealth and power by the "haves" while the rest of the U.S. falls into joblessness and home loss? The country is in bad shape (thanks, George), and this group can hardly wait to flaunt their wealth and egos. I find it a bit off-putting.
—Jamie
Dear So Have-Nots:
So true, babe, but maybe we should just embrace it and mindlessly bitch 'bout fashion flops. Jessica Biel, really?
Dear Ted:
The comments Robert Pattinson makes about having a crush on Kristen Stewart make her cringe in a big way! No doubt she finds him gorgey (as any red-blooded gal would), but people seem to forget she has been with her BF for years! I don't really see the whole Kristen-Rob thing as more than a publicity stunt to make the horny teenage vampire wannabes more geared up to see the Twilight sequels. Tell me Kristen is the loyal, shy girl she seems to be, thus breaking the mold of the young Hollywood sluts we read about everyday.
—Nina
Ben and Jen Pulling a People?
Oh, completely forgot to tell you all, can't imagine why: Bennifer II's still finagling the happy charade—and rather beautifully, too.
'Course, Ben Affleck helped host the Children Mending Hearts benefit to support women and children suffering as a result of the fighting over in war-torn Congo this week. Really heavy and gruesome stuff over there—we're glad Ben's taking his new philanthropy gig so seriously, even if it did mean leaving his 9-month-preggers wife to travel there.
But Jen Garner must not be bitter about any of that 'cause she skipped the carpet Wednesday evening and came in through the back to support her beau. So was it a hot 'n' heavy night out for the two lovebirds?
Depends. If you think Jennifer skipping out halfway through and leaving Ben to close down the House of Blues with a table of girls equals a steamy night, then yeah, it was!
5 Celeb Couples That Should Split Up—Like Now!
There may be a few deliriously happy duos in T-town—cuties Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick come to mind—but there are more than enough romances that have gone on way too long.
In the spirit of salvaging love's good name on Valentine's Day, here are five couples who need to a one-way ticket to Splitsville:




