The Awful Truth

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Ah, the crisp, biting wind of early September can only mean one thing: It's time to get off your summer-lovin' ass and head on back to school! Our darling Marc Snetiker has left us for his own academically hallowed hall in the Midwest (pray for him), and let's face it—for some of you crazy, typo-prone Twi-hard commenters, it's about time you followed suit and got some schoolin', too. No offense, babes.

But what better way to celebrate the re-education of everything you forgot this summer than to round up the results of our Back to School Madness series?

It's time to reveal the results, and trust us, kids, you don't want to miss them! After all, you're the ones who elected these dazzling star students to their oh-so-prestigious positions. Regret any of your votes yet?

Trust. You might. And the winners are…

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School might be about to start for all you young'uns, but we're at the end of our Back to School Madness series. And it truly has been madness, has it not? What better way to send those education-needin' celebs off to school than by picking Most Popular, the highest superlative of them all!

But this isn't the classic tale of cheerleader or jock or student council president winning the vote—we decided to change it up a bit, Awful style. Your vote is counting for the Most Popular Blind Vice.

Tricky, no? Who do you think wins the prize for everyone's all-around favorite little unnamed mystery?

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Some people are envied for their good looks, some for their good grades and even others for their talents (whether on the football field, the stage or in the closet during a raunchy game of Truth or Dare). But one thing that's universally envied?

It's the hair, kids!

Celebs spend hours on their perfectly crafted coifs. Combing, brushing, curling, moussing! Even if they're trying to pull off the I-don't-care-what-my-hair-looks-like shrug (lookin' at you, Seacrest), the public is still totally enraptured by their locks. So why not give praise to the dreamy sensations with the trendiest 'dos on campus?

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When choosing this category, we could have settled for something like Cutest Couple, Couple Most Likely to Last or Most Likely to Stay Married. But seeing as this is Hollywood and we're dealing with the crème de la crème (in some cases), the best couple has to be given a better title than any of those!

That's why Homecoming King and Queen is the prestigious label being awarded to whomever the student body elects for this one. Style, grace and a general feeling of envy should accompany whichever couple is chosen!

NBC Photo/Nicole Rivelli

When the drama of Hollywood homework gets you down, you know you can count on at least one funny face to make...well, a funny face...or do something absolutely wild and crazy in the middle of class that gets the whole room to crack up. The Class Clown.

Who in Tinseltown is worthy of that title? It has to be somebody funny, somebody witty and somebody whose name alone almost makes you laugh. Is it impression goddess Tina Fey or How I Met Your Mother stud Neil Patrick Harris? Whose sense of humor gets you crushin' on the clown, big time?

Mark your ballot for which star you think should be crowned Class King (or Queen) of Comedy!

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Obviously, plenty of celebs find time to do recreational workouts here and there, but these particular stars go above and beyond the call of abtastic duty.

"Most Athletic" isn't necessarily about the sports you play, but the people you woo. It's the celeb who will instantly draw eyes on the beach, at the pool, onstage or onscreen, making every gazer drool at their insanely chiseled bod. After all, what high school calls it the "Hottest Body" award? Most Athletic is just the cover, kids.

Cast your vote! Which celeb boasts the best student body?

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It's a superhard game to be able to sniff out what's gonna be a success—anyone else surprised The Hangover, funny as it was, is now the highest-grossing R-rated flick of all time? Can't say we saw that coming.

As far as the remainder of '09 goes, we have our best bets for "Most Likely to Succeed"—Whitney Houston's new album is totally destined to hit No. 1, along with New Moon (and pretty much any Twilight-related product). But what about all the upcoming H'wood biz that doesn't have a shot in hell of breaking big? Who's the winner of the soon-to-be losers?

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You all know what biggest flirt means. It's that cheerleader who you knew got around to every single guy on the football team. Or that band geek who totally knew how to market his flute to any tuba-playing chick.

So which celebrity do you think makes the rounds in the little ol' town of H'wood? And is he or she just a harmless tease, or something much, much more dangerous?

Cast your vote for the flirtiest member of the celeb class!

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No roundup of high school superlatives would be complete without the coveted title of Most Likely to Be Sent to the Principal's Office. This one's all about that special guy or girl who would basically make life a living hell for the persons of authority.

Who takes the crown on this one?

Vote for your favorite bad boy or naughty girl so they get recognition for their best troublemaking exploits...and send them to the principal. Sometimes celebrities just need to be punished!

Flynet

Welcome to Round 2 of the Awful Truth's Back to School Celebrity Superlatives! Judging from your responses to yesterday's poll, we totally see who's leading the way for Most Changed. But what about those who tried so desperately to reinvent themselves but failed?

They deserve some recognition, too, doncha think?

Pick your fave celeb for most Unchanged this year, and maybe they'll get those much-needed personality alterations in 2010?

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We've hit the end of summer, sweethearts, which means for all you young'uns out there, it's back to school time! To celebrate the return to your scholastic duties (and to pretend we're right there along with ya), the A.T.'s getting its gossipy claws out for some celebrity superlatives! Ya know, best couple, most likely to succeed and a few additional categories you prolly won't find in any yearbook.

Check out the first of 10 rounds. We picked the nominees; you pick the winners, sound good? Take out your virtual No. 2 pencils and let's get started!