Hot-buttered opinion on the latest flicks

Black Christmas

Thu., Dec. 21, 2006 4:39 PM PST by Luke Y. Thompson

B-

If you're looking for a suspenseful remake of Bob Clark's 1974 holiday-themed stalker flick that improves upon every single facet of the original, check your local video store—it's called Halloween, and it's apparently quite popular with the kids today.

However, if you're quite happy with the cheese factor of the original tale of potty-mouthed college girls menaced by a maniac on Christmas Eve, but wish it had evinced less acting talent and a whole lot more blood, guts, incest and vomiting, Glen Morgan's more official update is the way to go.

Let's be clear: The new Black Christmas isn't in any way scary, realistic or well acted, but Morgan, who cocreated the Final Destination series, knows how to stage an elaborate kill for laughs, and there's at least one—involving Christmas cookies—that'll sear itself into your mind.

This isn't a film for everyone, nor should it be; some may long for the relative realism and subtlety of Tales from the Crypt. But if you ever feel the urge to giggle while watching Michelle Trachtenberg's head being split open with an ice skate, you'll be glad this movie exists.